The Girl of Ba Sing Se
by Aicosu
Summary: Prince Zuko's mind won't let him forget that feeling of judgeless love and he longs to have it again, whatever the cost.
1. I Frustration

_It's a long, long way to Ba-Sing-Se_

_But the girls in the city_

_They look so pretty--!_

_They kiss so sweet_

_That you really got to meet_

_The girls from Ba-Sing-Se--!_

She hadn't come back.

Not that he cared really.

The brown-speckled teacup began to fog under his fingers, the clay started to glow a soft yellow.

One whole week and she had not been back.

The small teapot started to smoke and the bottom dripped. Zuko stared beyond the brilliant color of the angry cup in his hands above the basin. He didn't register his Uncle's soft steps next to him, setting down a tray of used cups. Iroh whistled softy before a light caught his eye. "Z-Zuko! Nephew what are you—"

The pot shattered into tiny pieces and slid to the bottom of the basin. Zuko let out a growl and let flames lick his hands before they extinguished and he ruffled his hair. "I'm such an idiot!" He yelled.

Iroh stood with wide eyes at his young Nephew and decided that something was possibly bothering him. "Zuko, for you to Firebend while our boss is in the front must mean something is wrong…"

"Nothing's wrong!" He said irritably and glared at the old man. "This is all your fault anyway." He muttered.

Iroh sighed, "I know you do not like living here in Ba Sing Se, but I have told you that for now—"

Zuko didn't seem to hear him. "Why did you even decide for me? If I had just said no, I wouldn't even be worrying about her." Iroh looked at Zuko's frustrated face in confusion.

"Huh--?"

"Why does it even bother me? I'm Fire Nation and she's –she's—"

"Zuko! Keep your voice down!" Iroh hushed and grabbed his nephews mouth closed. Zuko threw his hand off and huffed. He was afraid he would start yelling again but the boy just hung his head and a defeated look graced his face. Iroh smiled slightly.

"Are you speaking of the lovely Jin you went on a date with so long ago?"

"No!" he yelled before taking in his uncle's face and sighing. He nodded numbly.

Iroh's smile took to a grin and Zuko regretted his outburst instantly. "Well, well if my little nephew isn't love struck."

The boy's shoulders squared. "I am NOT love struck."

"I guess you're right; I mean the girl is dull and ugly." Iroh shrugged with a nonchalant face. He was about to laugh when he saw Zuko's angry amber eyes piercing his own. "I'm just teasing nephew, did I not say she was lovely?"

Zuko's mouth pursed and he turned to lean on the wooden table, his eyes analyzing the grain.

Iroh frowned. Obviously that date was not just a date… and Jin was not just a girl. He turned and peeked out side to see the boss sweeping the welcoming mat and shut the door. Walking up to his nephew he laid a hand on his shoulder. "Zuko… what happened on your date?"

"Nothing." He murmured, turning his head to the side.

"Hmmm." Iroh nodded and closed his eyes, stroking his beard. "Either nothing happened at all or nothing happened that you want to share."

The prince remained silent. The elder man shook his head. "My dear Prince Zuko, you must explain your troubles if you wish for advice."

"I don't have any troubles." He grumbled and swished around to yell at his uncle. "And if I did, I certainly wouldn't ask you for advice!"

Zuko slammed his fist on the table before storming out of the small kitchen, slamming the door behind him. Iroh cringed at the outburst and exhaled, before his eyes caught the small table sizzling with a new flame. He slapped the cloth on the table hurriedly, gritting his teeth. "Well at least I know what girls do to my nephew's attitude!" He said to himself with a grin.

* * *

Zuko inhaled the crisp night air with vigor, letting it cool his insides and cleanse his thoughts. He began walking down the main street, staring at his feet and watching all the shops close down.

He hated it. The city of Ba Sing Se was poison on his nerves, it was like a confined iron box to a flame and he couldn't stand it. From the dirty confined streets to the sickening color of jade green, the more time he spent here the more he wanted to burn it down.

He missed the spacious clean marble streets of the Fire Nation's capitol. He missed the smell of ash on his clothes and the prideful colors of obsidian and blood. Despite his exile from his nation, he was raised in that culture, raised to hate those opposed to it in any way and his honor would not let him forget it.

He looked up to see an elderly man reach high to snatch a lantern, bringing it to level to blow out.

"_Oh! They're not lit…. "She exclaimed, instantly looking down as her forest colored eyes dimmed under her brown hair, like a weeping willow tree in the sad winds._

His hand clenched to a fist and he could feel his body want to heat. Exhaling slowly he kept on walking until finding a damaged stone fence blocking an empty plot. Taking a seat he looked up to the small bit of dark sky he could see between the building roofs on either side of him.

"What's wrong with me?" he questioned and slowly tidbits of the other night raced back to his mind.

Her soft hand in his, a perfect fit in his hot palm, a cool touch. Her kind smile, accepting every little mistake he made, making it felt like he could tell her his every regret and she would just tilt her head and smile. He remembered those bright, sparkling eyes as green as the leaves of his Uncle's tea flowers.

_A hand lifted to contain her lilting laugh, but he heard it anyway and he wanted to smack himself for looking like a fool in her presence. She tilted her smile, accepting his babbling excuses. _

He swallowed hard as his lips tingled.

_So cool and delicate her lips were… so fragile and kind. The cool of her lips mixed with his constant heat and he had yearned for more. Oh Agni he wanted more… more than what he had ran away with. _

He shivered and his hands clutched his knees. "I still want more…"

A snap and his body swung with the speed of a dragon, his fist slamming into the brick of the wall to his left, scalding the stone in charcoal black. He gave a yell and his fingers gripped the wall as he leaned towards it, standing now. "This is ridiculous. I do not feel for this peasant." He murmured but he knew there was no denying anymore. He wanted her, wanted her smile, her touch and her kiss, all to himself. He knew she would never accept Prince Zuko of the Fire Nation, but she would accept Li and so he would milk the lie for all it was worth.

* * *

Iroh's fingernail traced the graving of the lotus piece for his Pai Sho board. He slurped his tea and exhaled the steam, relaxing his body and smiling to himself.

The door rattled open with such a force that Iroh had no doubt that his nephew was royalty; it was spoken in his presence. He turned his head and watched as the boy flustered, shifting his weight. "I—I want advice."

The old man grinned.

* * *

He felt stupid. Then again he always felt stupid after spending time under the influence of his Uncle. His face grimaced as Iroh pushed the big bouquet of white dragon lilies in his arms. The pollen made him want to sneeze and the tiny white…(stick flowers?) in between each lily sprinkled his hands.

He wanted to set the whole thing on fire.

"Now, she lives two streets down and four houses across." Iroh grinned. "Now remember what I told you nephew, you must apologize for abandoning her and—"

"I didn't abandon her." He muttered. His Uncle gave him a look and he promptly shut his mouth with a frown.

"Hand those to her and then ask her if she would like to go to the upper ring with you for a... ?" He Uncle trailed off, looking at Zuko expectantly.

"A… walk?" He suggested but then glowered when his Uncle shook his head. "A picnic?"

"A tour!" Iroh exclaimed.

"This is undignified; I don't even know my way around Ba Sing Se!" He retorted and Iroh shook a finger. "It's not all about you your majesty. She will give you the tour."

"How does she know the way around the Upper Ring?" He questioned and his Uncle shook his head. "You did not ask her about herself at all did you?"

Zuko felt stupid. His Uncle pushed him towards the street, "have a nice time nephew, and relax! Enjoy your day off!"

He walked, throwing the old man a grimace.

* * *

He had been staring at the same door enough so the sun was a notch higher in the sky. The clouds shading the house were now split so that sunshine glimmered along the tiny shutters.

Truly, it was like almost every other slummed up shack in the lower ring of Ba Sing Se. It was an ugly shade of grayed brown and it smelled like dirt. It had a small green mat and an old rotting rocking chair in the front, but other than that it looked no different. The only exception was the beautiful pot of flowing leaves on the window ledge. The plant was growing surprisingly well for the conditions and it looked… happy. He finally walked forward to look at the bright leaves, full, vibrant and somehow… familiar. Turning he raised an unsteady (white pollen dusted) hand to the door and knocked.

And waited.

Maybe she wasn't home and he could forget this ridiculous idea and go back the apartment to whine and mope. Maybe this was his chance to set the bouquet on fire and run like no tomorrow, as far from the memories of this Earth Kingdom girl. His lips tingled and his feet stayed rooted to the ground while his hands were cold from his nervous sweating. He shuffled at the door and looked at the plant again.

Something bright and red was buried in the pot and leaning over closely he saw the small blood red bud of a Fire Blossom. His eyes widened at the trademark flower of the Fire Nation.

"Li?" A voice inquired a voice so soft and so musical. He looked towards her and froze. She was staring at him under the sunshine of the afternoon, her green eyes shining like the Earth Kingdom Sea and her brown hair long and loose, tickling her pale face and her curious lips.

Oh those lips…

He stared. His hands shook and the waxy parchment holding the flowers wrinkled on his grip. He wanted so badly to run, to scream, to roar fire or to simply cry. She took a step closer and suddenly the dirty smell of earth washed from his senses with the graceful smell of apple-peaches. "Li… what are you doing here?"

He thrust his hands out and finally let go of the burdensome weight of the lilies into her hands. "I—I came to give these to you." He grumbled and his frown deepened at her raised eyebrows.

She was quiet, her fingers tracing the petals.

"Well?" he asked, growing impatient. "Don't you like them?"

She finally looked up at him and his heart thudded when her smile spread and she tilted her head. "They're beautiful Li, thank you."

Her expression stole any of his own and he forgot what he was supposed to do next.

She continued to smile at him, her eyes hypnotizing him into a calmer state.When she looked away, her face was sad. "Li… I want to apologize. I…I didn't mean to rush myself on you the other day."

He took in the words and instantly spit them back. "No!"

Her head snapped to look at him.

"I'm the one who needs to ask forgiveness... I ran away from you… you did nothing wrong Jin." He said, his voice full of his culture's pride before slowing to a quieter sincerity. She smiled with heated cheeks and hugged her flowers. "Thank you…" She whispered.

He grinned to himself, his ego coming back full swing when he felt he had done well. His new found pride kept him going, "I was wondering if you would touch me--err—"

Jin looked at him in confusion.

His ego crashed and his hand rose to rub the back of his neck. "T-tour, tour me around the Upper ring of the city." Agni he sounded so stupid. This was not something a Prince was supposed to deal with, especially not the Prince of the Fire Nation. It was undignified and he had half a mind to yell at her to stop looking at him, to stop smiling at him.

But her hand rose to hide the smile she could not and she openly grinned at him. "I would love too!"

He felt like an Airbender, light and high of clouds. It was disgusting.

She smiled and told him to wait as she put the flowers away and went back in the house. It was a silly request, he would have stood there forever even if she had just slammed the door on him the moment she saw him.

She came back with a smile and a ponytail, looping her arm around his and pushing her head into his shoulder. He thought his Firebending had lost control went his face flushed with heat.

* * *

She didn't belong in the lower ring of Ba Sing Se.

They had gotten through to the Upper Ring with the flash of a small ring on her thumb, which she explained was a sign of a student. She had gone to school in the Upper Ring, some prestigious private school, for two years on a permit given out by the King every few years to the lower peasants. She had worked hard for it, she said with a carefree smile. Like it had been no big deal, like working hard had meant smiling.

She knew the history of almost every monument and building and she explained any one he looked at. He learned about the tall column trees surrounding the library (they were so strong they kept growing through the stones, so the city built around them.) He learned of the great female Earth Bender who was raised by Air Nomads and saved thousands of the Earth Kingdom citizens by creating the large rocky mountain cliffs stopping the crashing waves from reaching the farmlands outside the city. He even learned that his white dragon lilies bloomed this time every year in the city park in the Upper Ring, given to the Earth Kingdom by the Fire Lord, years and years ago. So long ago that the lilies were extinct in his Nation and they now only grew in that garden.

Zuko learned that Jin loved history and art; she loved the earth and everything it grew. He learned that her favorite thing to eat was apple-peaches and she made pies of them to sell to the Upper Citizens and give away to the children of the Lower ring. He learned that her eyes changed shades of green in different light, and his favorite was in the sunlight, when it looked nearly turquoise in its intensity.

He swallowed hard and clutched her fingers in his palm as she dragged him to yet another stall, showing him all the tiny earth crafted jewels of flowers and birds.

Zuko learned a lot, a lot about her and how she made him enjoy this wretched city. She made him smile, or at least twice at her laugh and at her embarrassed face when she tripped and he caught her, scolding her not to run so fast, that they had all day.

They were seated on a white bench now, gilded in jade, looking out on the rest of the city and the far stretches of farmland before it hit cliffs and then ocean. She was leaning on his shoulder and her eyes were lidded, her smile still there… always there…

His hands felt clammy and his mind was finally numb. He never said anything offense to her, but hearing much of the Earth Kingdom's history made his Fire Nation mindset want to barf. Somehow though, the way she spewed the information from perfect glossy lips and inspired eyes… it was hard to think badly of.

She had asked him things too… _What's your favorite fruit? Do you like pie? Where should we sit? What would you like to see next? Do you know that story? _He was mostly unresponsive or would grumble out an intelligent, "I don't know, I don't care, No, Yes," He sighed out loud and relaxed against the bench, his conscious still urging him that he was slipping while his senses begged to melt into the girl beside him.

"Li… I'm sorry if I bored you today." She spoke quietly, almost offhand.

He looked down at her and his eyes narrowed. "You didn't." He said matter-of-factly and ruffled. It was ridiculous to think she could bore him, where did she get that idea?

He felt like he should assure her more and the nervousness flooded again. He shifted, "Your… your very soothing to listen too…I…I like it."

Great, more unintelligent babbling. He shut his mouth with a click and his brow furrowed in hopelessness.

He heard her soft giggle and imagined her soft smile to accompany it. "Thank you Li."

He longed to hear her soft voice say_ Zuko._

* * *

So that's Chapter One, Frustration. Please guys, if you support Zutara and you want to tell me why. Don't. I respect you guys, I understand you guys but I don't crew that Ship. Zuko/Jin is the one I've clung too, and I'm gonna make it work. Anyway, this will be a multichip, angsty, romancy and funny. Some other main characters will be introduced and I will follow the plot of the episodes, although altering time and a few things.

Clicky da blue button? If not that okay, this particular Ship never got past too many gates and I know its fan base is low. The story is more for me… 


	2. II Infatuation

The smell of Jasmine tea tickled his senses, making his sleep weighted eyelids lift. Molten amber eyes scanned the dank wooden ceiling of the small apartment he and his Uncle had been staying at.

Another day masquerading as something he wasn't.

The thought made him sick and he acknowledged the fact that Jasmine tea smelled nauseating.

Apple-peaches curled around his fingers, his neck, his mouth and his nose. His mouth twitched and he tried to turn into his itchy cot. Burying his head in the green pillow, he willed the scent to let him be.

A chime sounded through the papered walls and his eyes shot open at the bell laugh.

The apple-peaches came back full force and he scrambled out of bed, his mind screaming in protest to such quick movement in the morning. But that smell… that sound… he could feel her in the next room.

"You, my young Jin, are a very good Pai Sho player." He heard his Uncle say with slyness to it.

He reached for his pants, dragging them across the floor and up his leg, trying to dress as fast as he could Firebend. The pants were on and he didn't bother knotting the tie, letting it hang loosely as he shoved his bed to the side, searching for his undershirt and vest.

"Thank you Mushi," her voice flitted and his heart shot to his throat. "Is Li a good Pai Sho player?"

Zuko suddenly wished he played Pai Sho everyday of his life. Finding his shirt he ripped it on and scowled at that whim. Pai Sho was boring and meaningless and he will never play it.

"I am sorry to say that he is not fond of the game." The Prince wished the old man had lied.

"No, I wouldn't think he was." He heard a smile in that sentence and while trying to picture her face he cursed at the strings on shirt. Shrugging on the vest, Zuko fished around his pillow for his dagger. Pulling out the worn sheath he ripped out the blade and angled it towards his face.

Flawless skin shone back at him, one golden gleaming eye staring back with a mixture of fear and some sort of expectation. He swallowed and ran a hand through his hair before tilting the blade to the left. The eyes narrowed in anger as he examined his twisted burn and the discolored skin. It was too early for this; he thought and closed his eyes tightly, before flinging the cursed dagger across the room.

It stuck to the wall above his bed with a popping noise. He slid open his door and exhaled, pushing out all the thoughts of his face, steam slowly left his mouth and he felt at peace, using his Firebending techniques to calm his nerves…yet…

Turning to look down the hallway Zuko captured her gaze and his exhaling caught in his throat. He choked and his mouth felt hot and sticky.

He swallowed steam.

"Li is that you so early in the morning?" His Uncle called as Zuko walked forward towards the small eating room. There was a Pai Sho board on the dark table and the windows were opened. Iroh was seated to his right, the man looking chipper, pouring tea with one hand and balancing a piece of pie in the other.

He sat quietly, not gazing at either of them, his eyes closed.

He could feel the delicate aura of her to his left.

Against his intentions his eyes opened and while he willed his head to look forward, curious amber irises slid to his left.

He was met with hazy emerald eyes, dark and pretty, beneath that wispy brown hair. He exhaled twice, both times too fast.

"Good morning Li." She said, her smile spreading and her silky braids moving with her slender neck to look at him. She gave him her full attention saying that simple greeting… her full blown attention, just to say 'Good morning.'

He felt sick from Jasmine tea he had not drunk.

"Lovely Jin here stopped by to drop off some Apple-Peach Pie she made herself." Iroh stated with pride, like he had been a part of her success.

Jin blushed and looked shyly at him. "I wanted to thank you for giving me the lilies."

"Why?" He blurted with a furrowed brow and his Uncle choked on his tea at his nephew's insulting tone.

"Because they made me happy," Jin smiled as if she had not been rejected and Iroh watched her with raised brows. "So I wanted to make you happy in return."

Zuko's subconscious wanted to shout at him to keep still and leave her alone, but his stubborn pride nagged him that this girl could not possibly make him happy. He was also confused that she had even tried to and it was way too early to be confused. "How do you know if I like Apple-Peach pie?"

Jin nearly giggled, "How do you know I like white dragon-lilies and not moon flowers?"

Zuko suddenly felt ridiculous and wanted to ask her right then and there which she liked better. He swallowed and his fingers lay low under the table, twiddling a nervous flame. He wanted to scream at her for making him doubt, but his mouth was closed.

The silence was awkward on his end only and he was angry. His Uncle sat with a knowing smile, chewing on a piece of pie. Jin sat, stealing looks at him and keeping her smile in by biting her lip. His mind swam. He was so confused. Was this even real? Had this girl really gotten up early to bring him food, to give him her attention? To smile at his wretched face voluntarily?

Yes, She had. For Li.

Inwardly he cringed at the thought. He was jealous, oddly at himself. This nothing boy Li, some tea shop waiter he pretended to be, got this girl's entire affection which he, the Prince of the Fire Nation, could not return without lying.

But the affection felt like the sweetest drug and Zuko was willing to steal it from Li with all the lying in the world.

Jin stood and he automatically rose with her, either because he wanted to or because he hated this situation, he didn't know.

Jin bowed low to Iroh and smiled. "I hope to see you again soon Mushi."

His Uncle grinned wide, "I am always free to the pretty ladies Miss Jin." Iroh ignored Zuko's fire filled glare.

Jin started to bow to Zuko, but he strode forward and grabbed her elbow. "I'll walk you out."

* * *

They had walked silently without any thought of conversation along the main road of the Lower Ring. There was little going on in the early morning, but the markets were still bustling when they walked through them.

Jin looked up at him with a sly smile. "You said walk me out, not walk me home."

His brow drew together and he gave her a look, "Would you rather walk alone?"

She laughed in the face of his irritated gaze and grasped his arm. "No, I rather like this."

He felt his body boil and felt the need to practice his leg flames and his fire blasts. It was so difficult to restrain and yet he contemplated it being a nice feeling. The thought was discarded in seconds.

He looked down at her brunette hair and from this angle he could see the long tips of her eyelashes and remembered their light touch on his cheek when she had pressed her lips to his.

He wondered what she would do if he asked that of her. Would she say yes? Or would she say no? Perhaps she would laugh at his face?

Would he demand it if she rejected him?

"Jin." He started, feeling long lost authority seep in his voice. "Jin, I want you to ki—"

Jin peered up at him through her brown bangs, blinking and waiting with a smile and eyes full of selfless trust.

His heart thudded and his eyes flitted dangerously as he gazed into that unbinding trust.

They had stopped walking and he was staring, he knew, but…

"Li? You wanted something?" She asked, her head titling like a curious baby hound. He gave a shaky breath before the heat took his face. "N-No, nothing."

"Li…are you feeling well?"

"I-I'm fine. I'm well." His composure slowly came back and he wanted to strangle it for leaving in the first place. Damn this girl and her ability to toss everything he had to a private abyss only she could access.

She smiled and clutched his hand. "I wanted to thank you for your company yesterday. It was a lot of fun."

He was stuck in those eyes and his mouth twitched, a corner begging to rise. "It…It was."

"How do you like Ba Sing Se now?" She asked with a wink and his knees went weak at the action.

"_So… how do you like the city so far?"  
"It's okay." _

"It's okay…" He replied and her smiled lessened but did not disappear.

He glanced sideways, his hand scratching the back of his head as he contemplated something decent to say… something nice. "You're… very smart. You showed me a lot about the city I didn't know."

Her blush was back and that tiny 'thank you' escaped her lips. He regretted not stealing those words straight to his mouth.

His fists grew hot. He needed to leave, to run, before he did steal her lips.

"I hope you have a good day Li and maybe I will see you tomorrow?" she asked and he could not miss the hope in her voice.

It was rare to hear hope in anyone's voice lately, he had not heard it anywhere but his Uncle's or the Airbender's and even then it was far between. Let alone hearing someone having hope about seeing him. He held his breath at the thought of someone actually looking for permission to spend time with him, to anticipate it.

"Y-yes… that would be nice."

Jin smiled and bounced on her toes; her hand grasping his shoulder as her lips softly grazed the corner of his mouth before she landed on her heels and bestowed a sweet farewell, heading towards her house.

His mouth trembled, his eyes stung and he needed to Firebend. Now.

* * *

Iroh gave a long exhausted sigh as he slid open the door to his quaint apartment. The busy days at the small teahouse were exhausting him, not from the work, but from the energy of all the excited people. He was happy to take pride that his tea was becoming famous and he was even happier he could finally spread it amongst other tea lovers.

His smile came back, increasing his laugh lines, and as he set down his outer robe on the table his nose took in the familiar scent of fire and ash.

Iroh gave out a sigh of a different kind, one of mental exhaustion. His nephew was wearing him out with his troubled adaption to life in Ba Sing Se. The poor boy was set stubborn in his prideful ways of the Fire Nation. But the old man could not blame him as the boy had not known any different. With no experience of social activity or leisure time, the next few months in Ba Sing Se would be difficult for Zuko.

He walked towards the back of the house and looked out the window, his nephew invisible in the night, his tight black robes and shoes moving silently in the dark. His movements were restrained, Iroh could tell, and the Fire he bended was all aimed upwards or bended upwards so that any neighbor or passerby would simply believe they were camping out around a bonfire.

Iroh watched worriedly as he could tell his nephew was struggling to release his stress in the only way he knew possible.

"_I wanted to thank you for giving me the lilies." _

"_Why?" _

"_Because they made me happy so I wanted to make you happy in return." _

Iroh smiled to himself. He wanted his nephew to struggle through this city and learn that the path chosen for him was not the only path. He wanted him to learn the many different views in the world, but above all he wanted him to be happy.

At first, Jin was a simple distraction that he knew Zuko needed, but now he realized she may be more than that. She might be his support in such a bigger way.

That is of course, if she could call him Zuko without anger.

He shrugged, _'of course she could, she plays Pai Sho.'_

"Nephew!" he called as Zuko's left foot swung downward from the sky, dragging the fire with him to the ground.

Zuko exhaled softly and closed his mouth, regulating his breathing before walking towards the old man at the window. "Uncle," he acknowledged, coming inside from the small plot of dirt that was their garden. "How was work?" He asked without true interest.

The man smiled and indulged him in talking about silly customers as the boy simply nodded. He knew very well the prince did not care, but the fact he even asked showed how much the Firebending helped.

"And you Prince Zuko, how was your second day off? Did you and Jin go out?" he asked, trying to hold his hopeful tone.

"No." Zuko's finality made Iroh frown. "I took her home…" he trailed off and Iroh watched in awe as his nephew blushed hard.

Iroh panicked. "Prince Zuko of the Fire Nation, you better not have taken advantage of that poor girl!"

Zuko's face turned from embarrassed to mortified. "NO!" He yelled his hand swiping the air with fire as if to blaze the notion. "Never! I didn't! Sh-she just kissed me is all!"

Iroh put a hand on his heart. "Don't ever do that to your poor Uncle again!"

"I didn't do ANYTHING!" He yelled, his hand tugging desperately on his short hair. Images flooded his mind of her beautiful smile lying on faded jade sheets, her brown hair between his fingers, pale skin—"ARGH!" He yelled and stormed to his room, slamming the door behind him.

Iroh couldn't tell if he should laugh or scold the boy.

He laughed.

* * *

"…Ba Sing Se, but the girls in the city, they look so pretty…"

Jin whispered the silly song beneath her breath as she carried her pies home. The day had been a normal one for her this season. The pies sold well in the Upper Ring as they always had and of course she still had three left, to do with as she pleased.

Well it had been most of a normal day. She blushed hard at the memory of those golden eyes, regarding her with hesitance and uncertainty. She smiled, it would take time, but she knew that he would be able to smile freely to her soon.

She had never felt this way about anyone. She had focused so long on what she had to do to get by since her parents died that there had been no time for anyone, let alone a boy.

She remembered his grim face as he had first set her teacup down and she knew then, that she wanted him to always set her tea down, sit next to her and spend his days with her.

She realized now that in order to get that, she would have to work hard. Shrugging outwardly she knew it had never been a problem before.

_Oh Li…_ She sighed, feeling a little sadness. She sensed a past worse than her own, one that involved his face. One that was more serious than a traveling circus.

"Jin! Jin, Jin!" She heard a voice babble, racing towards her. Turning she smiled down at little Aho, his fuzzy brown hair in his face. "Lady Jin! My momma sent me out to capture you!"

She laughed and kneeled. "You mean catch me?"

"Yes, yes!" He ran to her kneel and instantly grasped one of her braids. "Aha! I gotcha!"

"Oh no! What shall I do to get away?" She questioned, pretending worry.

"I will let you go for a pie!"

"Lucky me, I happen to have a delicious pie just for you, young bandit!" She laughed and lifted one from her stack.

The boy grabbed it with one tiny hand, but did not let go of her braid. "Lady Jin, my friend bandit is sick!"

Jin frowned, "You mean Sessy?" She asked with a more serious tone, thinking of the tiny curly haired girl.

Aho nodded, "She won't make it today."

"Well you make sure she gets one too," Jin nodded and handed him another pie. "That outta make her feel better."

"Thanks!" he smiled toothily, snatching the second pie and running back home, stopping only to wave.

Jin stood and watched the boy go, waving shortly before turning back home. She looked at the pie in her hands and sighed, hoping to pass some strangers today on the way home. Jin smiled and waved at an elderly man who had just put his lantern out and gone inside. Looking forward she watched in admiration as many began doing the same, the lights flickering out in the sleepy slums like synchronized stars.

Ba Sing Se had been a refuge her parents had sent her to and while the city was poor, dirty and infested with crime, she could not help but love it. It had been her home for so long now and she knew its struggles and the struggles of its people. She inhaled the crisp air and a soft smile played on her lips. It was times like this when the city felt alive, like its heartbeat was the sound of the cricket-beetles and the chatter of people. She could feel the earth beneath her feet, but more so, the fire of life in its energy.

"So what do we do? Sit in this wretched city and wait to see if he's alive!?" A voice shouted from the alley to her right. Jin stopped and caught sight of two shadowed figures, one tall and one short, close together.

"Smellerbee, quiet down." The taller one admonished.

"I don't trust those Dai Li. Something bad happened to Jet when he accused that tea maker and his nephew for being Firebenders."

"Smellerbee! Shh!" The voice said again and they shadows shifted, turning towards her.

The small one lunged for her, coming into the moonlight. Jin backed away quickly as she took in the sight of a small girl, short frizzy hair falling into her red marked face.

The tall shadow snatched the girl's arm, emerging as a solemn faced boy, his hat shading his dark eyes.

"What do you want!? Who are you!?" The girl yelled, raising her fists and trying to pull away from the tall one.

Jin shook her head and straightened, stepping forward. "I'm sorry to offend you; I was just heading home after selling pies in the Upper Ring." She paused and lifted one to them. "Please accept one as an apology."

The girl eyed her warily. The tall boy loosened his grip on her arm and the three were caught in an awkward silence.

Apple-peaches invaded their senses.

The tall boy shifted, his lips parting. "Smelle—"

The girl snatched the pie from her hand and glared. "Get out of here!"

Jin smiled and bowed, before walking quickly away. She nearly laughed aloud at her undeniably delicious pies. Thanking her luck she neared her house.

"…_Something bad happened to Jet when he accused that tea maker and his nephew for being Firebenders."_

Jin slowed walking as the sentence came forward in her mind. Her heart disregarded it,_ 'surely it's a different Uncle and Nephew.' _Her mind grew angry._ 'Come on, Jin, your smarter than that. How many Uncle's and Nephews serve tea together? '_

She frowned. How was this Jet character even reliable? What evidence did he have that Li and Mushi were Firebenders? Jet could be completely wrong, which is why the Dai Li took him away.

Her conscious nagged her. She did not trust the Dai Li either; they had been speaking for the King and suppressing her fellow refugees for too long.

Jin walked up to her door and her hand stilled before opening it.. She looked at her feet as thoughts came rushing to her. Mushi's warm tea this morning without an iron stove, Li's obvious circus cover up, the nearly unbearable heat of his hands, his scar...

She shook her head, catching sight of her flowing green plant by the window seal. She leaned over to spot the red Fire Blossom growing tiny beneath the leaves. She had taken care of it so carefully for her mother and had tended to it every day except for the last three. She had been so busy with her pies that she had forgotten… but there it was, bigger since three days ago.

Bigger. The Fire Blossom was bigger.

She remembered Li's visit yesterday and suddenly she knew.

She knew.

* * *

And end chapter II infatuation. Man I'm pumping out these things like…something one pumps out fast…blood?

Ah well, in case anyone cares, every time Zuko is written, I am listening to Maroon 5's Harder to Breathe or anything Muse.

Jin is Fly by Harland (check that shit out).

Here's a few sneak peek at the next chapter (not in order) :

"_Please Li, let me help you." _

"_Just leave me alone!" _

_She let the warmth spread through her fingers, her eyes dim and a smile on her face. He watched in awe as the flower extended. _

"_My mother…"_

"_Oh Li…"_

"_Jin, I'm so sorry."_

See ya next chappie! Clickie my blue button you sexy thang!


	3. III Realization

His fingers gripped the wooden frame tightly, an amber eye looking around the corner of the hallway to the seating area of the tea house.

The sickening weak feeling of nervousness crawled up his spine.

She was sitting at the corner she usually sat at, the one just beneath the sun rays at noon. The one where, if she sat on the right side (which she was, much to his misfortune), her eyes would shimmer beneath those dark silky locks. Her smile was soft…always soft and the steam from her teacup would curl in the air. She looked like a beautiful ghost of Ba Sing Se.

A loud slapping sound rang through the hallway and Zuko gave a very unprince -like yelp to the stinging sensation on his back. Iroh laughed and heartily patted the spot on his nephew's back he had mistreated seconds before.

"Well what are you doing hiding back here, nephew? " He asked loudly and Zuko's face filled with red embarrassed anger.

"Uncle, you—"

"The sun is shining and the tea is great!" The older man chortled. He looked at Zuko with a smile before blinking in confusion. "What has you in such a scowl?"

The boy glanced at the girl only to look away with flushed cheeks when he saw her staring right at him. Probably watching his horrid spying display be found out quite cheerfully.

He raised a hand to tug on his hair before brushing past his Uncle to the kitchen, hopefully there would be many utensils in there to kill himself.

Iroh watched his nephew leave with a shrug, turning to his room full of customers.

She smiled and gave a wave and an evil grin reached his mouth when he realized what his nephew had been hiding from.

"Good afternoon Jin, what are you here for today? Jasmine? Lavender?" He asked.

She shook her head, "Do you have anything on the menu that will escort me to a dinner in the Upper Ring?"

Iroh laughed, "Oh you're looking for quite an expensive leaf!"

She giggled and blushed, "I was thinking more of Li…"

Iroh leaned to her and winked. "He's in the back, go give him a scare."

* * *

"So STUPID!" He exclaimed, his hands in the air. They dragged down his face as he turned to the cupboard, resting his head against it sighing. "Why am I so bad this?" He whispered quietly, his hands coming in front of him.

He made a fist and a flame burst from its clench. "I just want her to like me! I just want her to…to…"

"Li?"

"Jin!" He swung around and quickly extinguished the flame, smoke curling in front of him and perfuming the room. She tilted a head at him and blinked. He waited patiently for a scream of 'Firebender!' or even 'Loser!' but none came. She seemed to be thinking hard about something when he grew sick of the silence.

"Uh, um--It's not what it… looks…like?" The Prince's voice stammered and he ended his statement in a question, making him feel like the ultimate fool. He cursed her and wished she would just disappear.

"Not what what looks like?" She asked and he was surprised to see her smiling. "You're not a handsome boy brewing tea?"

His mouth formed a small 'o' and he blinked twice.

_Handsome?_

She stepped around the table and he stepped back. She frowned at his nerves, but stayed where she was and sighed. "I was wondering Li… if you would like to go out to dinner tonight."

His face didn't change.

"You know, somewhere nice? Perhaps that restaurant I told you about on our tour, the one that sells orange cream cake..." She looked at him hopefully and he felt his chest ache. His hands turned to fists and he wanted to yell at her for making him feel this way. For making him **feel**.

"I—I—" He looked at the floor, his brows furrowed in what looked like fury.

"If you don't want too, that's alright." She spoke quietly and despite her smile her eyes were a duller green.

"No!" He retorted and she watched his irritated yell with hope, growing used to his bursts of emotion. "I… would enjoy eating dinner tonight."

His eyes watched the ever impressive floor as he responded and suddenly he could see the yellow hems of her green dress as she moved closer. A small, soft hand touched his shoulder and he looked up into emerald irises. "Thank you Li."

_Zuko…_

He nodded numbly, his gaze flickering from her eyes to her mouth. '_Is she going to…? Oh Agni…'_ He trembled beneath her lazy stare and wet lips. She just had to step up on her delicate toes…her eyes closing. His heart hit his chest and his eyes slammed shut when he shot out from under her. "I'm sorry! I….I have to make tea." He spouted, darting from the kitchen as his mind screamed in horror.

"Li!"

"Oh neph--nephew?" Iroh asked, watching as Zuko shot out the door. He looked back towards the kitchen to see a distraught Jin in the hallway.

* * *

"Oh Agni! I'm so stupid! She was gonna do it!" He yelled to himself, his mouth scowling and his eyes looking to the sky. He paced back and forth in the abandoned alleyway. "I wanted it for so long and just when she does it, I run like an idiot!"

He face grimaced and he slammed a fist against the wall before leaning into the blow, his frustration dissipating into humiliation. He turned his back on the bricks, sinking to the floor, one leg stretched before him.

"What am I doing?" He murmured softly as he thought of those lips… those eyes. A hand reached to knead his forehead. _What am I doing…What am I doing… I should be tracking the Avatar. I should be training, planning to go home… I should be…_

"Nephew, there you are!" Iroh called, running forth to stand in front of the miserable Prince, leaning on his knees as he panted.

"What do you want?" Zuko asked, glaring sideways at the dirt. His Uncle frowned at the troubled yellow eyes hiding beneath all that anger.

"You cannot just run away like that nephew, you hurt a lot of people." Iroh stated, talking about Jin and yet so much more.

The boy stood with force, a hand opening just to grip a fist tightly, "I can run wherever I want to!" He squared his shoulders, standing tall. "Just leave me alone!"

Iroh stood straight and crossed his arms, "No nephew, I will not." He took a step forward and put a hand on the boy's shoulder, keeping his stern face. "You can't avoid everything you're feeling right now. You have to face it."

Zuko shoved his Uncle's hand off his shoulder. "I'm not feeling anything!"

Iroh's face dropped and his hands came up in a pleading way, "Please, nephew, take this time in Ba Sing Se to let go. The Avatar has yet to make it through here; you have a chance to ignore your destiny, to ignore your duties." Zuko glanced at him and shook his head. "Take this time to see the world from different eyes."

"How does that help me? How does forgetting my responsibility as the Prince help me?"

Iroh sighed, "It will help you decide whether or not this destiny you are chasing is really what you want."

"Isn't it what I always wanted?" Zuko asked, more to himself than to his Uncle, no more than a soft whisper.

"Jin is going to wait for you at the Upper Ring entrance. You made a promise to her Prince Zuko." Hs Uncle smiled slightly, "I know my nephew is not the type to betray a promise."

Zuko looked up at him from beneath his brow. "She's waiting for me?"

Iroh smiled fully now, "I know you're troubled, but this girl can help you. She wants to spend time with you, to know you."

Zuko glared, looking away. "She doesn't even know my name."

Iroh shook his head, "One does not need to know your name to know you're a pain in the rear."

The Prince shot a look at his smiling Uncle. He sighed and a hand rubbed the back of his head. Maybe he did have time to think some things through and maybe he needed that time to sort out a few issues. Jin was changing him, in odd ways, ones that made him irritated and uncomfortable. "I think I hate her Uncle."

Iroh laughed obnoxiously, his hand holding his stomach. Zuko scowled at him, "I do, I hate her!"

The old man shook his head, "You do not hate her Prince Zuko, you like her very much."

"She makes me angry and weak. I never know what I'm supposed to do. She makes me feel ridiculous and stupid. She manipulates me to do things I do not want to do." He fumed.

"So you are going to dinner tonight then?" Iroh asked. The boy shifted, his prideful shoulders sagging. "Yes."

"Then nephew, you will need something to wear."

* * *

The school's library was vast and old. Her shoes clacked on the marble steps, echoing throughout the building. A smile played on her lips as memories flooded her mind from the loving structure, a refuge to a student peasant when times were worse than tough.

The building had been designed by the current King's father, a tribute to the first graduating class of the University of Ba Sing Se. It was a monument of the growing Earth Kingdom and many scholars across the world came to read its tomes.

She walked towards an elder man shelves books, his high jade hat a sign of his seniority in the library. The clicking of her shoes gave her away and the man turned to her. "Why Jin it is good to see you again." The man's brows rose. "And looking so pretty, what is the occasion?"

Jin blushed. "I'm actually meeting someone soon." Her face grew focused and she looked at him. "But first, I wanted to learn something."  
He bowed, "How may I assist you, my dear?"

"I want to know everything about Firebending."

The librarian straightened and pushed his glasses back on his nose. "That's quite a request my dear, a controversial one too. That may take a few days."

Jin nodded. "I understand, I'm just very interested because my mother…" She trailed off, leaving the librarian to guess for her. She hated lying, but she had to protect him.

"Well, I suppose we should start with history first."

* * *

"This is degrading."

"No, this is green."

'_Exactly.' _Zuko thought with a grimace. "Can't we have something… less green?" Zuko asked the shop keeper, who looked at him oddly. Iroh scrambled, nudging his nephew.

"Nonsense—this is fine."

"Well, we do have something black –"

"Yes, whatever it is, we'll take it." The Prince stated, excited he didn't have to walk around in the bright florescent green gown his Uncle was holding. The shopkeeper left through the back curtain.

"Prince Zuko you do not wear black on a date!" Iroh whispered angrily.

Zuko ignored him as the shopkeeper came out holding black attire, a fine silk vest that extended into a front and back panel, separated by a gold sash to match the gold trim. The charcoal colored loose sleeves were long until it hit dark silk cuffs, matching the loose charcoal pants.

He grinned, "It's perfect."

Iroh ruffled. "It's a funeral gown!"

The boy paid nonchalantly while the shopkeeper handed the clothing over, looking awkward. Zuko brushed past his irritable Uncle with a second, "It's perfect."

* * *

"…Firebending with dragons until the day when General Iroh killed the last one."

Jin nodded numbly at the librarian's voice as she scanned the pages of various tomes, her student mind had awoken and she began searching for something. For what she wasn't sure, but she would know when she saw it. '_Calming yourself, exhaling and balancing your breath, that's what Firebending is about. It's all based on your emotions, finely tuned to your emot—'_

The tome slipped through her fingers, unrolling on the table.

A fading ink painting was drawn on the dusty parchment. The general colors of red, grey and yellow spilled into the lines, creating a formal family portrait. The man was big, but not in a big way. He nearly took up half the page, just from the air he held himself. He was glaring at her, with liquid hatred framed by long tendrils of hair. Shaking her head she looked to the woman, her thin lips a line that to Jin, looked sad. She was beautiful and her hair was a faded black, appearing grey. In fact her whole form looked ghostly.

Below the woman was a young girl that she assumed was her daughter. She had to be, because she had her mother's lips and nose, but her father's cruel eyes. Finally, next to his sister was a young boy, his face a spitting image of his mother in every way. From his chin to his sad face. He looked awkward and lost beneath his father, sitting straight and proud without pride. Their clothes were filled with shades of red, so the boy's eyes stood out in the painting, shooting straight into her soul.

His amber eyes…those…eyes…

"Who is this?"

The librarian looked over at her, shifting his glasses. "That is the current Firelord Ozai and his wife Ursa. Their youngest daughter Azula is leading Ozai's armies as we speak."

Her voice wavered, "And the boy?"

"The exiled Prince… Zuko. I believe."

"Exiled?"

"He lost a degrading battle of Agni Kai to his father at thirteen, whom banished him. I think he is still of Fire Nation and last I heard of him he was searching for the Avatar to reinstate his position. But that was half a year ago…." The librarian shifted through the book of Firelords. "I think former general Iroh is with him."

"His Uncle…" Jin answered with her breath whooshing out at the words.

"Yes, Ozai's older brother."

Her finger traced the boy's face, stopping to cover his left cheek. Jin felt her eyes sting as the image blurred before her. "Prince Zuko…"

A tear hit the painting and a ripping sound interrupted the librarians reading as he watched her tear the painting from its tome. "Jin! What are you—"

"I'm sorry! I must have this!" She exclaimed, grabbing the other small book of Firebending and racing out of the library in a flurry of beautiful robes and shedding tears. Jin shut her eyes tightly and slipped the paper in the book, shoving it up her sleeve pocket.

"Li…"

* * *

Zuko ran a shaking hand through his hair, exhaling steadily. He leaned against the great stone gateway of the Upper Ring, the two guards regarding him warily. He had already tried reminding them that he had been through here not two days before, but once they raised their swords he backed off.

The sun was almost down and he was starting to get worried, then again he wouldn't know it because it was hidden in anger.

"Where is she?" He asked quietly, clenching his fists at his sides. She had probably cried home, when he ran from her, finally deciding he wasn't worth her time. His face soured at the thought, hating her for giving up on him. How could she? What did he do wrong?

Or she had simply forgotten about him. This thought turned his insides from anger to pain.

Or she could be hurt, he imagined and his hands felt sweaty. She could be lying in a ditch somewhere, bleeding. His heart thudded against his chest and he was about to turn and take off toward her home and make sure she was--

"Oh, Li!" He watched in awe as she came striding up to him in a delicate white gown. The dress was pure and clean, trimmed in gold and falling behind her feet. The sleeves beneath the robe were a sheer material, suggesting her pale arms beneath it. Her face was dusted by her brown bangs, the rest of her hair tucked in a bun adorned by a white dragon lily. His white dragon lily.

His face grew hot and red. "Ji-ji—you…you look… I mean…I—"

Jin smiled politely at him, tilting her head. "Thank you?"

His hand tugged at his already messy hair. "I-I mean you…" His eyes shut and he tried to compose himself, tried to bring back the confidence of a prince. He coughed in his nervous hand and looked straight at her. "I mean, you look very beautiful. "

It was her turn to blush and when she did, Zuko felt his chest constrict.

He eyed her face again, when he noticed the red rim around her eyes and her puffy nose. "Are you alright?" He asked, his concern moving him in front of her to grab her shoulder.

Jin looked up at Li, no, she looked up at Zuko and her eyes grew sad. The run to meet him here was the fastest, hardest time she had ever thought about something besides her parents' death. She had to decide what to do with her Li, her exiled prince. And she did.

"Has someone hurt you?" He asked urgently and she tasted the first tone of his worry, his protection.

She smiled and shook her head. "No, no I'm okay. I just fell a little while ago."

She was a terrible liar, but he let it slip at that smile, that wonderful smile meant just for him.

"Ready?" She asked, giving him her elbow and he stared confused, before nodding and taking it slowly.

'_Please Zuko, for once, don't screw this up…Just have this one perfect night.'_

* * *

... I drew Fanart for chapter 1 so... look at it! (ba77ousai. deviantart. com/art/Zuko-Feels-Stupid-92540740)

Chapter 3 inspired by Coldplay's Viva la Vida and Violet Hill

OMGSHEKNOWS!

So whats she gonna do? Lead him to dinner or the Dai Li!?

Mwhahahahaha--cough, coke, hack, squirm, hack, spit, tries to laugh again, dies

Anyway, clickie the button and you gets a faster chapter. And yeah, I know the previews in the last chapter didn't fit this one, they were going to, but I didn't realize that halfway writing this past my 7 page limit. So what I'm saying is…the next chapter is already written.

Review's are the ransom for the next chapter, make a wrong move chappie 4 gets deleted!!


	4. IV Elation

The candle was flickering wildly on the table, dancing in his golden irises and creating the most beautiful, haunting effect. Her heart thumped wildly as she watched those amber pools grow around his dark pupil, their gaze on the close flame.

'_Prince Zuko of the Fire Nation…'_

Her brow furrowed at the thought and she chewed a piece of steamed vegetable slowly, feeling her cheeks blush hard. '_Really, it isn't that big of a deal…'_

As if replying to that thought, she suddenly felt the heavy weight of the Firebending book in her sleeve. _'Okay, so it's a relatively large deal… '_She sighed, turning her chopsticks in her finger. They had been so quiet since they sat at the exclusive restaurant. The atmosphere was relaxing, the seats plush velvet and the food was delectable. They had even put them in a candlelit corner, small and private.

She glanced back up at her secret Prince, watching him softly watch the candle. _'So what, he is who he is. A title marks his name, a horrible one, and you will let that obscure everything else?' _

She remembered his awkward blushes and quick temper. She thought of his nervous touch, his protection and his timid lips. Looking at her plate, Jin knew that she was being silly. Even if he was the Prince of the Fire Nation, a Firebender, with a horrid past… she could not forget who she knew.

Li or Zuko, what he was with her was real. She just knew it.

"Li…" She asked quietly and nearly gasped as those intense eyes snapped to her, almost surprised she was speaking. "Are you alright?"

Zuko shivered at the tenderness coming from her voice. "I-I'm fine…sorry, I was…thinking."

"About?"

His lips pursed as he contemplated telling her. "I was wondering…why you were in Ba Sing Se." He told his nervous hands.

Jin blinked, sitting up and tilting her head. "Me?"

Zuko caught her gaze and his expression fell. "You don't have to tell me—I mean…" He struggled with words he never used. "Not if you don't want to."

He was surprised again, this time to see her smile and set down her chopsticks.

"I'm a lost refugee, just like everyone in Ba Sing Se." She said, her eyes fell to the table and he watched her draw circles in the wood.

"My father was an Earth Kingdom scholar. He traveled everywhere to learn secrets of the world and discover new ideas and people." She sighed, "My mother was a Firebending advisor to General Chow."

Zuko's form stiffened, taken aback. Blinking at her, he wanted to shout and interrupt, asking a million questions. His surprise and her calm smile stopped him.

"They met during the war of course, my father had valuable information that General Chow needed to attack an island off the coast the Earth Kingdom territory. I don't remember the details… My mother was sent after him…and well…"

"She didn't come back." Zuko ended for her. She smiled at him, shrugging.

"She fell in love." Jin laughed a little. "Dad used to tease about how good of a charmer he was."

Zuko's brows drew together with pieces of the puzzle. "General Chow probably didn't like that."

"They were safe in hiding until I was five. Then… we were always on the run, for another three years." Jin sipped a bit of tea before setting the cup down and watching the steam. She rested her head on her hand.

"I don't remember much about those days except the last few years, when we would have to drop everything and run. My mom was tough and she protected us, while dad made all our provisions." Jin blinked slowly. "But they got tired of running and one night I remember them waking me up and urging me out of bed. We walked for a long time, to a ferry."

Zuko watched her unchanging face and shifted in his seat. "The secret ferries to the city…"

"My dad had made plans to send me to a friend of his, to go to a good school, to be safe." She smiled and he felt his heart constrict from its sadness. "I never cried so hard that night. I was so confused. My mom hugged me and then turned away. She just promised me that we would see each other again and then…"

'_Zuko, my son! You must wake up… Listen to me…'_

He ripped his head from Jin's face, glaring at the wall as her voice went on. Willing the memories to go away.

"When I got to Ba Sing Se, things got bad. My father's friend never showed. For a few days I lived on the streets before I was taken by child labor…" she clenched her fingers, remembering their itchy red scars and bruises. "I worked there till I was fourteen. For six years I scammed our owner, saving a piece of silver for each one he took. And then finally I got out and ran forever, to the other side of Ba Sing Se and bought my little house."

He looked up at her slowly and watched as her face grew proud, her green eyes playing with the gold of the candle. "I read books, I did math and I watched the Upper Ring socialize. I learned and I passed the exam for a scholarship."

Picking up a piece of chicken she ate and swallowed. "And… that's what I'm doing here in Ba Sing Se."

His mouth tugged at the corners as he watched her eat, but a thought struck him. One where he needed an answer, one that might answer his. "Did you ever see your parents again?"

Her eyes stilled and her smile dropped.

He knew and the pain washed across from her side of the table to his.

"They died five days before I left the child labor." Jin looked up at him, locking his golden with her green. "General Chow had them executed. One of the civilians in the town where they were put on display found out my father's links to Ba Sing Se. I was sent a letter and a flower."

She shook her head and fingered the rim of her teacup.

Zuko let his eyes roam from her dragon lily adorned hair, to her liquid silk dress and finally her beautiful face. She was just another refugee, but it was so much more than that. She ha dfelt pain, had been through hardships, but had pulled through stronger. "Jin…I'm so sorry..." The words were foreign on his tongue and it sounded strange to his ears. But they came easily and it felt so good.

She looked up and smiled, her eyes glossy. "It's okay; it wasn't really dinner conversation…but I'm happy I told you."

He felt awkward and guilty for bringing it up. He grew angry at the two former emotions, suddenly mad that she even had that effect on him, but he pushed the annoyance down. "If you want…" He trailed off, catching her curious gaze.

She was graced a rare grin as he motioned to the sauce cups on the table. "I'll juggle for you."

Her laugh made him grin wider, that precious smile filling his chest. The tears sprung from her eyes, and she wiped them with a fading chuckle. "Thank you Li."

_Zuko._

His grin lessened a bit.

"Well, what do you say we get some of that orange crème cake?" She asked, leaning in with a raised eyebrow. The mischievous glint in her eye triggered his nervous palms and he did his best to keep his voice steady.

"That sounds nice."

* * *

She was laughing again, a bit of white crème on her cheek. His face flushed and he glanced away from her amused form. "I can definitely see you in a bright florescent green—" she tried to continue but her giggles delayed her, "and I think pink cherry flowers would match your eyes so—"

His arms crossed and despite his heated face, he looked very disapproving. Her laughs slowed and she ate another piece of cake innocently.

"I don't like the idea of you taking my uncle's side so much." He stated and she pointed at him with her other hand.

"You're just too easy, that's why he picks on you so much."

"It's irritating."

She laughed at his pout, "It's funny."

"You have cake on your face." He threw back in annoyance and Jin rubbed her face in embarrassment.

His eyes warmed as he watched her. Jin caught the expression and shared a secret smile with him, even if his mouth didn't allow the movement of it.

Pulling her purse from her side, she started to count out the pay when she heard a clatter on the table. Her simple curious glance turned to surprise when she saw the silver on the table. "Wh-what are you—"

"As a thank you, for asking me to join you." He said simply.

Jin shook her head, intending to use her profit from the pies. "But—"

He glared at her and the gaze left no room for argument. She sighed and looked at him, "How am I supposed to repay you Li?"

_Say my name._

"Go out with me again."

"Huh?"

'_What did I just say?' _His eyes widened at his automatic boldness, and his mind scrambled to find and beat the Prince ego that had shone through. "Well, that is… if-if—"

"I'd love to." She said quietly, pink tinting her cheeks. Zuko stood and strode to her, holding out his hand to take. He kept his face calm and his eyes warm hoping that he was doing good. That this whole night had been perfect. She smiled at him.

"Oh Li…"

_Zuko. My name is Zuko._

* * *

The night was a bit windy and the moon was shrouded in clouds, clouds promising wet weather. But her hand was warm, and the flower in her hair blocked the scent of rain with its pollen. She leaned quietly against him as he led her through the Upper Ring, the top of her head visible the only thing visible to his gaze.

His breath was ragged and he felt like he was walking in someone else's shoes. It was as if he had invaded some nice guy's body and was escorting his girl home to have his evil way with her. He swallowed at the thought and brought her closer to him. She didn't protest.

It felt surreal.

Everyone hated him. Everyone. Why not her? What could this tiny Earth Kingdom flower see in his wicked flame?

'_She thinks you have no flame, that's what.'_

Suddenly he felt the need to retch. There was that lie, that big one he had forgotten and suddenly everything slipped into place. Her care was nothing for him, and he would be nothing to her if she found out. He could imagine her angry shriek and her disgusted face. His hand grew cold as he realized the hopelessness of it all.

He pulled away.

"Are you alright?"

He looked down at her pretty eyes, full of concern and trust. _'Oh Agni…'_ He turned from her and he felt the anger well up inside his gut. Memories of recent smiles flooded his mind and he nearly swore. He had wanted a perfect night, but he knew that it was about to be ruined. "It's nothing."

Jin frowned, wondering what could have changed so quickly since they left the restaurant. His eyes closed and the sound of his voice was cold…like…

'_It's complicated.'_

Jin's eyes widened and she grabbed his hand, looking up at him. "Please Li, let me help you." She gave timidly, her gaze frantically trying to connect with his. Where was that warm gaze she had seen earlier? Was she about to be rejected again?

His brow furrowed in jealousy of that disgusting name. He hated this lie, hating tasting such sweet happiness when it was all a lie. Turning to her, his body tensed and watched her concerned green eyes turn scared. "My name is Zu—"

The cold metal on the back of his neck stopped his tirade cold and his yellow eyes slid into slits. Senses blasted in his body to detect threats that he hadn't seconds earlier. He silently cursed himself.

"Hello lover boy." A gruff voice said behind him. The cold metal slid across his skin dangerously to a point and he turned his head slightly to look over his shoulder at the swords length running down to the thug's hand.

"Li—!"

Zuko whipped his head to see Jin's mouth slammed shut by the dirty hand of another brute. The second thug, dragged her a few steps back as she kicked, clawing at his arm-guarded hands helplessly. A third one sauntered up to him, his hair greasy and his body stenching of wet dirt and garbage.

Zuko's eyes burned.

"Listen here kid." The man said with a wipe of his nose on his sleeve. "Give us all your belongings and the missus here won't get… too hurt." The toothy grin sickened the Prince and he felt the fire beckoning his call.

"Let her go." The demand was not a threat but the air around held one.

The man in front of him let his smile falter before picking it back up again, lifting his own sword to tip up Zuko's chin. The motion caused the sword against his neck from the other assailant to graze his skin. "We might…we might. If you give us your—"

His chin twisted, a hand swinging up and thrusting forward to grab the handle, latching on the thugs fist.

"Boss!"

Zuko gave a yell as he pulled the man's arms with the sword, straight to the assailant that was at his back. The blades collided with a loud crash and the man holding the sword with him tried to kick sideways. Zuko glared and slid the sword against his second assailant's. Zuko's knees collapsed to the ground as he let go of the handle. The movement was swift and the thug went sideways unbalanced, while the other fell forward towards his ally.

"Jambo, get out of the—"The second thug tried, but it was too late. Zuko somersaulted away as the man pierced the shocked Jambo in the shoulder.

He glanced over at the stunned face of the man holding onto Jin, who was also watching the scene wide eyed.

The man pulled the sword out of Jambo's shoulder, whom yelled in pain. The thug watched in horror at the instant bleeding before turning to the Fire Princec with wrath in his eyes. Clutching the discarded blade from the useless Jambo, Zuko lunged up from the floor to meet the thug. He slammed into the growling man's sword and started walking him backward.

The brute snarled, "You'll pay for—"

Zuko bent and twisted a leg under the man, bringing him crashing into the floor.

The thug's gaze shook as he scrambled on his back, looking up at yellow eyes hooded by the moonlight. He slipped trying to stand and crawled into the nearest ally, willing his feet to move. Zuko picked up the second forgotten weapon and followed him slowly.

Jin's heart was racing in her chest as she struggled to push toward Zuko with her feet, but her captor had her raised above the ground, her trailing dress tangled in her legs. The man clutched her face and stomach instinctively as he yelled for his threatened friend and he ran after them toward the ally, dragging her with him.

Sparks flew as Zuko dragged the swords through the stone walls on either side of the ally, the hot flecks sprinkling the back of the pathetic thug.

The man turned and held up a hand at the bright spots in his vision, "Please! Have mer—"

"No." Zuko stated and twisted the sword in his hands, raising them to slam into the ches—

Jin's scream shot out through the ally as the worried captor slammed her against the wall, trying to get to his friend, disposing her struggling body with frustration and causing the Prince to look behind him.

Zuko's eyes burned before the wind was knocked out of him. The man on the floor had found a distraction and had taken advantage of it by slamming into the boy's back.

He fell to the floor and the man tried to crawl over him, to get away, but Zuko clutched his ankle. He brought him down with an angry yell, rising to his feet and bringing up a sword to ram in his thigh.

The thug's cry vibrated the alley and the assaliant who had thrown Jin suddenly changed his mind, turning to run. Stopping only to grab Jin by the hair and drag her with him as insurance.

"Let her GO!" Zuko roared, ripping the steel out from the man's thigh and chasing Jin's captor.

She clawed his fingers desperately and then instead of struggling, she lunged forward at him, taking him to the ground. He turned and grabbed her legs, trying to drag her toward him.

Her hand caught hold of his angry face and her eyes slammed shut.

"Let go of me!" She yelled, pushing away on the floor. His hand grabbed her ankle twisting forcibly, breaking it. She screamed and her hand constricted on his face. "LET GO!"

He shouted painfully and released her, his hands scrambling to his face. "AHH! IT BURNS!"

Zuko lunged forward, his body low to the ground as he twisted, two blades rotating in a circle towards the man's head. The first slid across his cheek like butter and the second lay threatening at his neck.

The man's breathing was loud and full of tears as he lowered his hands at the sight of the sword.

His shifting eyes latched onto the burning fire of gold irises.

"Run."

He scrambled to his feet, walking backwards towards Jambo.

"No. Leave them here." The demand came from his killer so he obeyed, his cheek bleeding on his red marked face as he ran, stumbling off down the street.

The swords clattered to the ground, ending the last three minutes of violent noise. Zuko rushed to Jin's discarded body, gathering her trembling form in his arms on the stone laid street.

His eyes scanned her worriedly, his mind numb with horror. Her hair was blown over, her face streaming with tears. Her dress had been ripped and her lip split. She cringed trying to move her foot and watching her tremble contracted his heart in fury.

She mumbled weakly, her arms clutching his shoulders and drawing herself close to him.

Zuko lifted her carefully in arms, standing slowly to balance her against him. A loud sound hammered through the sky and they both cringed as cold rain slammed into their clothes.

He held her close, watching Jambo moan lowly, clutching his shoulder. He stepped around him, rushing to the exit of the Upper Ring.

He turned his head into her wet hair and picked up the soft sound of her crying. His eyes shut tightly before opening and holding her fragile form close.

"It's okay… I have you Jin, I'm taking you home."

* * *

Whoa! Wholly shit! Who knew that was coming? I certainly didn't.

Anyway, the first part of this chapter was inspired by a dream I had a few nights ago. Where zuko was laughing and smiling about something or other before realizing he was making himself look silly. It was a fluffy, odd dream. There was a bear in it.

Also inspired by the song Empty Streets by Late Night Alumni (Jin's story)

Whole second half (fight) inspired by various Avatar fight scenes and the Song 'You Know What Happens to Guys Like Us in Prison' by My Chemical romance.

CLICKIE DA BLUE BUTTON AND I BRING YOU JIN/ZUKO FLUFF

Plus Sokka. (yeah, he makes an appearance)


	5. V Restraint

A/N So I've been having some Zuko problems lately. I've been trying extremely hard to keep him in character and so far it's been alright. But you have to know how hard it was to do so in this chapter.

There are so many sides to the Fire Prince, the blindly angry Zuko in season one. The lost and confused angry Zuko in season two and finally the determined stubborn friend in season three. I'm glad I'm dealing with season two Zuko, it's my favorite, but it's most definitely not the easiest to write.

**But I need your help!** I'm by no means a fan of Zutara, for the basic reasons. But I don't bash you guys. You guys are doing your thang and it's great. But it's hard for me to find a Zutara story where Zuko is not out of character. If you guys know of any, I would love to read it, to see how anyone keeps his character. I need to stay true to our Fire Prince and in the next chapters it's gonna get rough.

Thanks guys! And enjoy Chapter V

* * *

The rain seeped through his clothes and chilled his skin. The fine silk of his vest and the light fabric of his sleeves clung to his skin uncomfortably. The hems of his shoes were thick with dirt and mud, dragging on the ground of the Lower Ring.

There was a whimper and he looked down to her wet face buried in his chest. He saw movement in her lashes and guessed she was alert. "I'm taking you to your house." He whispered over the thunder clashing in the sky. "It's closer."

"Li…" She started and continued, but he couldn't hear her soft voice.

He turned a corner and spotted the familiar shack, rushing to its door. Jin shifted in his arms, her hand struggling to dig through her soaked dress for her brass key. She moved again and gave a yelp when her broken ankle smacked against the door.

Zuko stood back and his brow drew together in impatience. Holding her close he leaned back to draw a powerful kick to the door.

The door crashed open with a clatter, its top hinges breaking from the force. He walked forward with a sigh of relief from the immediate stop of rain pouring down his back.

Jin peered over his shoulder at her poor door. "Li, you didn't ha--"

"I'll fix it for you later." He replied simply and walked toward the living room. It was dark, but he could make out a hearth in the center of the room, a green blanket lying on the floor next to its dead embers.

Striding forward he sat her down carefully and stood, turning to the door. The open doorway was letting the rain to soak the entrance and he could see the dirt stain of where he had come trudging through. He frowned but slammed the door shut, ignoring it for now to turn to her.

Jin sat in a cold, miserable mess, biting her lip as she lightly fingered her ankle. The area was swelling up nicely and she knew that it was just the beginning.

Zuko stepped in front of her, kneeling and gently taking her foot in his hands. "He broke it, didn't he…" he whispered, more to himself than her. Jin nodded to him and winced when he slipped off her slipper. She watched his face carefully, the golden eyes shaded in the dark room. They were not bright but she could see his grim frown and drawn eyebrows.

His fingers tenderly grazed her foot and he glanced up at her, before setting it down. "I'll have to wrap it against something so it's sturdy."

She nodded. "Th-thank you…" She whispered, her voice trembling from her shivering body.

"You should probably change." Her hands rose and rubbed her arms; Zuko pushed a hand through his wet hair, the drips trailing down his neck. Sighing he came next to her and hoisted her up by her arms. "Where's your bedroom?"

Leaning onto him she blushed hard, trying to focus on balancing her hurt foot.

"It's—It's to the left."

They walked awkwardly to the room, his arm around her waist and hers around his neck. Their slow walk trailed water on the floor until they reached the door. Zuko slid it open quietly, helping her grab the inside wall. She looked up at him, her eyes timid now. "Thank you."

He nodded and a hand grasped his neck. "Will you be okay…" His face flushed and felt hot despite his shivering form. "--changing?"

Jin shook her head and looked at the floor, embarrassed. "I'll manage."

The door shut and the Fire Prince let out a breath. Turning his back on her room he eyed the dark home and decided that the hearth needed lighting.

"Li?" A voice called and he looked over his shoulder to see a crack in her door, a hand holding out some garments. He took them, catching the gaze of one olive eye. "It's not much, but I don't want you to get sick either."

Fingering the dark grey robe and loose pants, which looked too small, his eyes warmed anyway.

She gave a smile, one he could only see half of, before her door slid shut.

--

Jin half hopped, half fell onto her dresser. The wooden fixture banged against her wall and the trinkets on top of it clattered. She winced as her foot instinctively hit the floor. Bending her knee, she shifted on her good foot, pulling open a drawer.

The Firebending book was the first to be set down. Tugging it out of her sleeve she noted the soaked pages with worry. Flipping it open she was sad to see the worn ink painting wet around the edges and torn through the little boy's shoulder. She fingered it carefully and pulled it out to dry in the drawer. She gave the sad golden-eyed look one last glance before opening the next shelf for dry attire.

--

Zuko's hands ran down the soft grey jacket that was most likely a robe on Jin. It reached his mid thighs and the sleeves were barely long enough to reach his wrists. Unfortunately the button collar fit a woman and would not cover his chest unless it ripped. The pants were loose but were too short to hit his ankles, even when they hung on his hips.

Shaking his head he let it go, so long as he wasn't wet. The beautiful silk of his new vest leaked mournfully with the rest of his clothing laid out next to the fire pit he stood next to.

Eyeing the pathetic spark rocks on the pit's ledge, he glanced at Jin's bedroom door before flicking his wrist at the hearth, exhaling. The flame burst from his hand with relief. The tension in his body released like water from a dam. The aftereffects of the earlier fight flowed through his fingers as the flame licked hungrily through the air and slithered into the pit.

His eyes shut tightly as his mind silently screamed, his body tensing, as he let the fire grow with power.

It burst from his earlier anger happily, remembering the wrath and the furious protection. His hand clenched in a fist and the fire detached from his hand, the pit dying to comfortable household warmth.

His breathing slowed and his eyes blinked slowly. _'It could have been so much worse.' _He mused and with the thought came images of Jin's lifeless body, dark crimson staining her white gown. He shook his head and felt his breathing grow ragged. _'She could be dead. If you had been even less careless, if you were just a bit slower, a bit more distracted. She could be dead.' _

His lips twisted in a snarl against that voice. '_I wouldn't let that happen.'_

'_And once you're drawn back into the war you've so easily forgotten? Will you hide her behind you while you attack the Avatar?'_

His hand covered his face, rubbing his forehead. Since when did he even want to be with her that long? Since when had his mind even drawn plans of his destiny with her in them? Since when did he care?

"L—Li?" He whipped around and blinked at her slick wet hair framing her pale face. The emerald irises shone at him with flickers reflecting from the fire. Her green dress was loose and comfortable on her tiny form and she was leaning against the wall with a hesitant smile. She blushed. "I...need a little help."

His heart skipped a beat.

He strode forward without protest, coming close enough so she had to look up at him. She blinked nervously at his bare chest while his arm slithered behind her back. He bent low to pick up her legs and she nearly gasped at those intense eyes.

She gave a surprised yelp before leaning into him as they walking toward the crumpled blanket, wet from her earlier position on it. He set her down carefully on the floor and before moving away, he lingered with his hand still around her waist. He cheeks felt humid from their heat and his damp chest. She swallowed.

Jin looked up at his eyes, his wet hair just long enough to border his forehead. The amber eyes traced her face, gazing at her parted lips before staring into her own hypnotized gaze.

"Jin… I'm sorry."

She shook her head automatically, "What for?"

He tore away from her eyes, his face frowning at himself. "I should have paid more attention."

Jin's hand reached out and grabbed his collar, tugging for him to look back at her. He did, surprised at the soft touch of her fingers grazing his skin. "If you hadn't been there…I would be dea—"

"Don't say it." His eyes glared at her before directing his anger to her hand. She let go remorsefully and he pulled away from their close proximity.

She drew her arms together and was grateful the fire he had started. She glanced at the burning embers and wondered lightly if he had Firebended the pit.

Zuko's hand clenched into a fist and he drew his knees up close. His head hurt from thoughts of the girl next to him and he leaned against his arms. Looking at her out of the corner of his eyes, he contemplated his honor. He thought of his days searching for the Avatar and Azula's betrayal. His father's betrayal.

He blinked softly as his Uncle's words floated through his mind. _"Take this time in Ba Sing Se to let go…It will help you decide whether or not this destiny you are chasing is really what you want." _

'_What do I want? What do I really want?' _Zuko's eyes shut tightly and his fingers gripped his arms. He didn't want to think about it, he didn't want to face that now. Besides, he did want his honor back; he wanted his throne, his dignity.

'_I want to go home… I want my mother.'_

"I want to let you know…" Her voice came out, breaking his thoughts with a soft smile peering from her dark green eyes. "That I did have a wonderful night."

His head lifted and he gave her a cold look. "Are you patronizing me?"

She smiled, brushing off his accussation and shook her head, "No, I mean it. Dinner; it was wonderful."

Her eyes held something in them, something fragile and careful. It was so nice and so painful. He watched her in quiet awe, his lips parting at her smile. A wisp of wet hair slid down her face, a water drop trailing down her neck and disappearing into the collar of her loose dress.

He swallowed hard and looked away, cursing himself for being weak, for having such lowly thoughts.

She frowned when he turned from her, feeling like the great steps they had taken at dinner were lost in the huge drawback of that fight. Her mind raced, trying to think of ways to get him back to her, to have him grin at her again, to share a warm smile.

"Li…" She called quietly, but he didn't glance at her.

She blinked sadly before reaching out to his hand. Her fingers grazed his and he finally turned his head to her, catching her solemn look in hesitant anticipation. "I know you're worrying over what happened tonight…"

He opened his mouth to protest but she shook her head."And I understand…but it wasn't your fault and you have to know…"

She looked away, her cheeks heated from something other than the fire. Zuko's eyes flickered from her eyes to her lips. She was oh so close, and the memories of all the time he had spent with her flooded his mind. The thoughts of that easy smile and sly look, that kind touch and ringing laughter graced his conscious as his hand reached up to take her face.

He thought of that cool kiss, that amazingly trustful kiss. Agni he wanted more, so much more. He wanted her beautiful affection, affection he had never experienced before. He wanted that care and concern, that wonderful feeling she gave him that made him feel like he mattered. Like his scum of being was worth more than a disgraced Prince and discarded son.

She looked at him, her eyes lowering as she finished her sentence as a whisper on his lips. "You have to know how happy you make me."

He drew back a little to see her eyes full of… full of something he had never seen before. She looked so sad, but it wasn't sadness. It was kindness and… it was—

His eyes stopped searching when he was struck with the answer. The word made him forget to breathe, his eyes closing to graze her lips with his. A teasing touch of her warmth, her acceptance.

Her love.

He gave a groan, his heart pounding. He leaned forward again, his mouth parting to take everything she offered when suddenly the hearth exploded in wild flames.

His eyes widened as Jin gasped, throwing her hands up to protect her face. He exhaled, shutting his eyes tightly and the fire died down, lowering to a calm blaze. Jin's breathing caught up with her, slowing to a normal pace when she turned to look at the Prince.

He avoided her gaze, his fists clenched and his own chest heaving breaths.

_Firebending is tied to emotions, your breathing, finely tuned to every emotion—_

Her eyes warmed at his panicked form and he glanced at her to what looked like fear. As if he was afraid she would scream at him.

He feared her yell at finding him out, at finding out what he was. He could imagine her disgusted face and her scared look as she screamed for him to go away. He chanced a look at her only to find that soft smile, surprising him every time. It was gone almost instantly.

She looked away with a frown. "I'm sorry…"

He shifted, sitting up to look at her in confusion. She glanced at him quickly before looking back at the floor. "I've been… pushing myself on you and it's not right."

Zuko let a breath go, reaching his hand out to grab hers. "Don't." He whispered out as a shiver went down his back at her yearning eyes. "Don't apologize for that."

She caught the warmth in his eyes, the warmth in his entire body. He was looking at her in so many different ways. Care she could see, but his shoulders were squared and his jaw clenched in nervousness and pride. Yet those molten eyes flickered with the fire, looking so wildly lost, confused. Longing…

She gave him a smile, moving in to rest her head against his shoulder. She felt him relax a little, an arm drawing around her waist.

The flames flickered in front of them quietly and Zuko tried to let his mind just rest, just focus on the smell of her wet hair and the cooling touch of her hand on his.

But he couldn't. Thoughts kept wandering back to his Uncle's question, to the feeling the girl next to him gave him. To even feeling… he stared at the burning flame for a long time, trying to understand the sick churning in his stomach that had been happening since his date, maybe even before that. Maybe when he had arrived in Ba Sing Se, or even when Azula lied to him.

There was a murmur next to him and he looked down to see Jin turn her body into his, slipping from his shoulder to his bare chest. Her parted lips grazed him and the soft exhaling tickled his skin.

He allowed himself one smile, one sad content smile before looping his arms around her form and bringing her into his lap. She looked peaceful. Happy and warm in his arms, she was deep in sleep and he could outwardly appreciate her soft beauty without having to worry about being weak.

Standing with her in his arms, he strode towards her bedroom. The door opened with a quiet creak and his footsteps padded softly towards the cot. He laid her down tenderly, moving to sit down next to her. Her dark hair was still damp as he brushed her bands back, his eyes softening. His eyes tore away from her to the wall.

"I'm sorry I can't be your Li…" he whispered, shutting his eyes with the spoken confession. "I don't want to hurt you with the truth but…I can't stay away from you. I can't… I need—"

His hands rose to rub his scarred face and drag through his hair. "I've just been so confused lately and you bring me…peace."

Zuko looked at her one last time, leaning forward to steal a kiss on her forehead.

"I'm sorry."

* * *

The morning sun lit up the small room, illuminating the green of the sheets and the soft golden hems of the curtains. The light streamed onto her cheeks, teasing her eyelids with the promise of new sights.

She shifted away from the daylight and crawled to the other side of the cot, her hazy mind searching for something solid and warm. Her mind boggled and her mouth started to work.

"Zu…ko…" She called, her fingers sweeping the sheets.

Her eyes flitted when she found nothing and she slowly came to a sitting position. Stretching, her mind blurred as she recalled the night before. Blinking tiredly, a smile graced her lips when she found that he must have moved her to bed. Pulling her feet to her side to stand, she stopped and glanced surprisingly at her foot.

It was wrapped up to her shin in fine cotton bandages against a sturdy piece of wood. Leaning forward she traced a finger along the edge of the wrapping. It was done so carefully, so precise.

Her smile grew as she thought of his serious and grim face. She imagined that concentrated face delicately wrapping her foot and felt her eyes sting.

Shaking her head quickly she stood and grabbed hold of her wall. The walk to her tiny living room was a struggle, but she managed to fine that lightly pushing off the floor with her toes was enough. Steadying herself before the hearth she noted the dead embers and vanished water stains on the wood floor.

He had taken her to bed, wrapped her ankle and cleaned her floor.

A whimper like sound came from her mouth and the vision of her sun filtered home blurred. She shook her head and returned to her room to change. When she had struggled through getting ready and then finally made it to her door to set out for the day, she opened her door with a tug.

The door creaked and she nearly slipped from the rain slicked entrance. Hanging onto the door desperately, she steadied herself and then her mind clicked. Looking up in awe at a brand new hinge she realized that he had kept his word.

Her door was fixed.

The smile struggled against her frown as tears began streaming down her cheeks. The memory of his warm eyes came to her mind and that polite rare smile.

The tears flowed as her hands covered her mouth. She had not had such simple care since her parents had died.

The memories flooded again, his temper and his scary protection. That mischievous grin in the reflecting lanterns and that far off contemplating face… his surprised expression, his timid touch. That longing groan…

Her eyes closed and she sunk next to her door.

She had fallen in love with him.

* * *

So no Sokka in this one, sorry. Well technically he was in this one but once again this chapter was immensely long, so I ended it here. The other chapter is half finished, but I think I'll take a break and watch a few avatar episodes since of the problem explained above.

Thanks everyone! I promise you Katara AND Sokka in chapter six.


	6. VI Envision

The days in Ba Sing Se passed lazily. It had been almost a week since the attack in the streets of the Upper Ring and as each day passed Zuko grew a little more light. His breath was calmer, his face a little more relaxed and his shoulders were no longer stiff.

A hand went through his short messy locks and willed away his thoughts. Agni the thoughts! Despite his growing contentment, his mind would still spurt anger, still claw at the image of the city with venom. He still hated living here and every subconscious thought was an urge to focus on the Avatar, to focus on regaining his honor.

Zuko's brows drew together in a mixed feeling of frustration and guilt.

He had snapped at her again today.

He hadn't meant it; she had only come to the shop to bring him food and tea.

She had smiled warmly, handing him the basket with a small blush. It had been arranged with care, and the tea had smelt charming, delicious.

But he had snapped. The morning had been rough on his nerves and while he had been anticipating seeing her again, he had grown tired of tea. He had grown tired of the disgusting city, tired of hiding, tired of lying.

"_Thank you, but you don't have to visit me." He had said, his fingers rubbing the basket's cloth. _

"_I know, but I want to." _

"_Why?" he didn't look at her, didn't see that kind smile._

"_Because… You make me happy Li." _

_Li._

_Li._

_Li. Li. Li._

"_Of course I do." He muttered with spite. He didn't catch those surprised and sad eyes. He twisted, throwing the cup on the floor, shattering it on the wood wall of the tea house. "Well I'm not happy!" _

_Her hand raised when she sensed the outburst. "Plea—"_

"_I hate this city, I hate living in poverty and I hate—" His mouth shut tight and his eyes closed. 'I hate pretending to be something I'm not. I hate living on without my father's honor, hate accepting this degrading lie.' _

"_You wouldn't understand."_

_It was quiet until her gentle steps brought her peaceful aura to him. He looked up wearily into those sad olive eyes, wishing she would either leave him alone or smile._

"_There's something I need to tell you…" Her soft hand touched his scarred face, her finger gently tracing the ravaged skin. _

_He ripped away and glared at her, the caress of his scar a reminder to his wrath. "Don't." _

_Her hand lowered and her eyes blinked back tears at the ground. The rejection was expected, but it still hurt. "Please… I need to—"_

"_You don't have to explain to me your pity." He finished for her and ignored her shaking head. "Don't lie, I know your only humoring me with your presence." _

"_I never—"_

_His hand swiped the air and he had to breathe in quickly so a flame would not ignite from the gesture. "I don't want to hear it!"_

_When her stunned face showed she wouldn't speak again, he turned from her, not seeing the bite of her lower lip to prevent its tremble. "Just go home."_

His fist slammed into the floor, his robe slipping off his shoulder. The wood creaked in protest and his knuckles burned. The muscles in his jaw were clenched to prevent him from screaming… or crying.

It hadn't been the first time. He had snapped at her since the night of the attack, but her smile had always brushed it off, and she had responded gently. Lovingly.

No. No, he wouldn't believe that. She was infatuated with some teashop boy struggling with poverty. She was not in love with a confused and angry Prince.

Certainly not one from the Fire Nation.

The door slid open and he glanced at the concerned face of his wizened Uncle. The foreshadowing of a lecture made him ill. His Uncle hadn't spoken to him yet and already the man was probably right. "What do you want?"

"Are you alright nephew?" The elder man questioned, stepping inside to sit across from the boy.

"I'm fine." He replied to the wall.

"Jin did not look happy today, when she picked up the pieces of a broken teacup." Iroh stated calmly, watching the boy's scrunched face.

His head hurt and the image of her messy hair, ripped dress and tears rushed to his mind. He shook his head at the memory, reminding himself that he had not done that to her. "I…meant what I said to her… but… not like that."

"I understand you are having a tough time in Ba Sing Se, but you must understand that so are many others."

Zuko looked up to glare at his Uncle with spite. "Others worry about their family living in poverty--about how to feed their children or how to make money." His fist clenched. "But we have to worry about being found out by our own Nation and killed, plus the people we are hiding amongst!"

"Our situation may seem more difficult than others Pri—"

"On top of that, I have to worry about never regaining my throne, my honor or my place in my own family… I'm wasting my time here in this wretched city."

Iroh slammed his palm on the floor, surprising Zuko to look at the man's serious face. "Do you honestly think all the time you've spent here had been a waste? "

"I could be hunting the avatar--"

"For what?! Your sister Azula has already proven the value of your father's word." He stared at Zuko's blinking face, watching it change from confused to frustrated.

"It was different then…I—I didn't—"

The old man sighed and shifted forward to lean a heavy hand on the Fire Prince's shoulder. "I do not mean to get angry with you nephew, but please, think about what you really want." He watched the amber eyes close and open, looking at him with a stubborn determination. He cut him off.

"Start by apologizing to Jin. She really wants to spend her time with you Zuko. She wants to help you."

"She can't help me when I don't need help." He whispered before shifting his eyes to the side. "Besides… she probably hates me now."

Iroh gave a smile and shook his head. "I'm afraid that even your hotheaded antics will not stop that girl from caring." The man stroked his beard as he recalled her calm face while she collected the pieces of Zuko's outburst, throwing away the shards of the cup with a small smile.

"Whenever I'm around her it feels like I'm drowning." Zuko whispered, his fingers tensing as he thought of their sweaty nerves when she looked up at him from beneath those bangs.

"You are young and experiencing affection for someone." Before Iroh could continue his nephew looked at him with confused eyed.

"Affection? Feeling like your suffocating is affection?" His voice hitched as he gave a sarcastic smile. "Then I must love her when I feel like I could explode in flames, or die in ash!"

Iroh lifted his brows at the exclamation and Zuko swallowed when he realized what he had said. Luckily his Uncle took pity on him and ruffled his head quickly. "You feel that way because you care so much what she thinks of you."

Zuko patted his hair down as he thought of those words.

"You value her opinion very much, which is why you are so frustrated with living as a teashop boy."

Golden eyes looked up in quiet submission. "I lie to her almost every day… answering to that wretched name."

"Then you must tell her who you—"

"Yeah that will blow over nicely." The Fire Prince scoffed, throwing his curled fingers in the air with irritation. "Sorry to lie to you, but I'm actually the Prince of the Nation that made you a refugee!" His fist clenched as he finished. "Here are some dragon lilies to make you feel better!"

"You're right." Iroh sighed and a hand rose to scratch his head. "Somehow I do not think flowers will blow over that one."

"What am I supposed to do Uncle?" Zuko stood slowly and stepped toward the window facing the lonely and dark streets below, slightly blocked by the other crammed apartments. "I…I think I do want to be…nice to her. I like spending time with her." Iroh watched in awe as a slight realization hit his nephew's face. "Even more surprising, she wants to be spend time with me…or Li…."

"She is a smart girl Zuko and maybe if you tell her, it will not be as bad as it seems. She may accept you." The former General gave a small smile at the boy's face, glancing at him from where he stood.

The Prince's shoulders slumped and he shook his head. "Even if by some miracle she doesn't report us to the Dai Li, how does a delicate flower stay by the side of a forest fire without dying?" His sentence ended in a whisper as he recalled her broken form and tear stained cheeks. Her body had felt so tiny in his arms when he carried her in that rain. Like a wilting flower…

"You forget nephew that the red Fire Blossom lives only in extreme heat. Only from pure Firebending will it bloom amongst its green leaves." His Uncle's voice replied in its lyrical manner as it always had when he recited proverbs.

Zuko groaned and held his head, throwing his hands up in exasperation as he walked towards the door. Passing by his Uncle's amused expression.

Iroh frowned at his nephew's reaction. "Where are you going at this time of night?"

"Away from your meaningless riddles!"

* * *

The green silk rolled down her form in a caress and she shifted her arms through the sleeves, letting the vest settle into place. The cotton sleeves were light and would carry on today's playful wind.

Jin gathered her hair up and glanced behind her shoulder at the mirror hanging on her wall. She blinked before letting the dark chocolate tresses slip through her fingers.

'_Down? Or up?' _He mind contemplated. _'Please, as if it makes a difference. When you tell him, your hair will be the last thing on his mind.'_

She sighed and her hands brushed out her clothing, reaching for the golden sash on her dresser. Her brows furrowed as her hands circled her waist to tighten the fabric. _'Maybe I shouldn't tell him today. Maybe it's too soon.' _Her mind tried to convince her, tried to run away.

"No." She whispered and knotted the sash. "Today."

Her fingers hesitated on her wooden brush, fingering the grain before wrapping her hand around the handle. Her resolve was strong and she knew that she would pull through, but her nerves were a different story. Her fingers shook as she brushed her hair.

'_What do I say first?'_ She wondered, bringing her hair up to a ponytail. _'Do I tell him I love him, or that I know who he is?'_

She swallowed and steadily made her way out the door and towards her main room. Her foot thudded like a dull companion, reminding her of its wounds. Truly it was not as bad as four nights ago, but it still slowed her pace and distracted her mind.

Stepping lightly, she walked to her front door, stopping to grab a fine silk shawl. Taking off the fabric from the hook by the door she smiled. She really did have humble possesions. Everything extravagant she owned was not as wonderful as it could be. She fingered the shawl and remembered the weeks of work it had taken her to purchase the item. Beside the dress she had worn on the second date, she didn't own much to her name.

Not that the dress was any condition to be proud of anymore.

Looking over herself once more and deciding that she was as pretty as she could be, she circled the shawl around her and placed a hand on her wooden door.

'_Maybe I could just tell him I know who he is. Just for today.'_ She frowned instantly at the image of his horrified face. _'No, I must tell him I love him because of who he is and no other reason.'_

Nodding and forcing a confident smile, she pushed open her door, blinking at the sun momentarily before heading to the small teashop.

* * *

"Thank you, son." The wealthy man gave happily, trying to catch the eye of the scarred-face boy.

Zuko gave an automatic bow to the finely dressed man and his Dai Li bodyguards. He thought nothing of filling their cups and heading back to the kitchen and nothing of their suspicious nature. In fact, the shop was extremely busy today, but the teen didn't seem to notice. His body sidestepped an excited child running through the chairs and he didn't blink or growl. Making his way to the back, he set the teapot on the counter and sighed.

Iroh peeked out from the kitchen curtain at his nephew curiously. The boy was mechanical in his movements, sorting out the dirty teacups from a new set, placing them on a tray.

He started to comment to the Prince on the busy day when he caught wind of the boy's grumbles.

"…say sorry. Not that hard—just—sorry, my name is Zuko and I…"

Iroh smiled softly and shook his head, disappearing into the back. The boy's face cringed as he realized how stressful his thoughts were. He rubbed his forehead and tried to push it from his mind, but those olive eyes kept coming back.

He walked towards a small family chatting quietly. His presence was silent and ignored as he served them and the feeling was mutual as his mind wandered. '_Just tell her that you're from the Fire Nation. Don't even tell here your real name, just where you're from. That should be good enough right? One step at a time?'_

He growled under his breath when he realized that while she might even just scream at him from that fact, he could not take another second responding to that agonizing name. He wanted to hear that loving voice whisper Zuko. Loving... voice...

_Zuko._

His heart thudded at the pure ecstasy his imagination brought him. Swallowing, he turned around to the empty table behind him, picking up the old dishes. '_Okay…then just tell her your name is Zuko and you're from the Fire Nation. You aren't the only Zuko in the nation…'_

'_No, but I'm the only Zuko with a scarred face, hiding from his own nation.'_

He narrowed his eyes at the dishes on the tray. '_And gee, so is the fugitive Prince.'_

He turned, his gaze catching the sight of his Uncle bowing kindly to the wealthy man from the corner table. The manager looked a little peeved and his curiosity slightly nudged his mind away from the Earth Kingdom girl. Iroh caught his nephew's glance and he turned to him, his teeth gleaming from his smile.

"Did you hear that nephew? They are giving me my own teashop and a new apartment!" Zuko's eyes warmed at his Uncle's happiness before turning to the wealthy man's chuckle.

"That's right son, your life is about to change for the better."

His brows drew at the superior tone of the man's claim. The statement clashed with his thoughts and he muttered, "Excuse me while I contain my joy."

Setting down the tray he stepped outside to let the air wipe his mind. The playful wind danced around him and he exhaled, letting some the worries go.

A fluttering caught his attention and he looked up to see a piece of paper dance down the street. Blinking, he watched oddly as many chased after it, floating in the breeze. A crisp sound caught his hearing and he snapped around to grab the piece of paper from the air.

The blank parchment curled around his fingers, hinting at the ink on its front side. He brought it forward, his hand turning--

"Li."

The soft voice reached his ears in a flurry of emotions, her quiet happiness and hinted sadness meshed with his racing heart. His golden eyes flowed in dancing circles as he took in her cool scent and billowing hair. The green sleeves flitted like leaves, her pale skin bloomed a blush while her sad ponytail loosened its tresses to the wind.

Her green eyes were bright jade in the daylight and glinted yellow in their edges, hypnotizing his thoughts. His mouth parted at the sight and he said, or shouted, the first thought in his mind. "I'm sorry!" He immediately bit his lip and berated himself for sounding so comepletely stupid.

Her face went from confused to serene, smiling warmly. "…I forgive you."

The words made his eyes widen, his heart stop.

Was is that easy? To be forgiven, just with a smile?

Relief washed over his disbelief.

She stepped forward and took his hands softly. The paper danced away, forgotten in the breeze, as he readied himself. His body trembled slightly at his determination to tell her the truth. He shifted his eyes from the ground to her when suddenly she cut him off. "It's me who should be sorry Li. I haven't been very honest with you."

Her eyes looked up to his confused expression. He took in her guilt with a question on his tongue. His lips moved to speak when suddenly a man brushed past them into the teashop. He sighed, lacing his warm fingers through her cool ones and nodded his head down the street. "Let's go somewhere private."

* * *

"I can't take this anymore! If Aang sends us back on these streets with another stack of flyers, I'm gonna boomerbend his rear!"

Katara smirked at her brother's vicious threat, holding out his steel weapon for extra measure. While Sokka was a little obnoxious, she could slightly agree with him. They must have pasted the posters over every inch of the Upper Ring. She fingered the stack of Appa Posters and wondered if the people of Ba Sing Se were tired of seeing the bison's face.

Sokka flicked the boomerang in the air, shrugging. "I mean I admire his determination, but this is a bit ridiculous." The air whizzed and he held out a hand to grasp the boomerang.

"He's lost his best friend Sokka; if you lost your boomerang, think of how you'd feel." She commented and stopped at a wall to Waterbend some thick paste from the bucket in Sokka's other hand onto its bricks. Slapping the poster onto the liquid, she shook her head at her brother's nonchalant 'humph.'

They continued down the clean marble streets of the city, Sokka flicking his weapon with disinterest and Katara smiling at the pretty sky's overhead. Truly their stay at Ba Sing Se had not been so bad. Despite their missing member and their Earth King situation, the odd city felt almost cozy and alive. It was a definite change from their recent rural travels and Katara was glad for it.

They pasted a few more posters on an abandoned looking building before coming down the city streets to a quiet roundabout opening.

The entrance to the roundabout was small and the tall buildings on either side blocked the view of the open space, narrowing one's vision to the small circular bench in the middle, protecting its small garden of dragon lilies.

"Ooh maybe she's seen Appa!" Sokka exclaimed, pointing to the girl seated on the bench ahead. Katara looked at the beautiful girl's face staring at the floor. Her hair billowed in the wind and her simple green gown shimmered in the setting sun.

The Waterbender rolled her eyes. "Not every pretty girl has seen Appa, Sokka."

He shrugged with a smug grin, "Well we won't know that until we ask." He nearly leaped toward her when suddenly Katara was close enough to see that the girl was not alone.

The entrance widened and she watched as the girl's lips moved, speaking with the tall and tense boy ahead of her. The dark short and messy hair came into view just as their voices reached her ears.

"…sorry, I didn't mean—"

"You didn't do anything wrong."

Katara stopped breathing and her hand shot out to clutch her brother's shoulder, pulling him backwards as her hand clamped shut over his protesting mouth. She crouched to the floor, Sokka stumbling to the ground with her.

His mumbling grew louder and she quickly shushed him, pointing out the boy.

Sokka glared at his sister's face before seeing her scared eyes and followed them to the boy in the roundabout.

The scarred boy.

"ZZZHHUUKKOOHH!?"

Katara shushed him again, slowly releasing his mouth, her eyes never straying from the Fire Prince's face.

"What's he doing in Ba Sing Se? You think he followed us?" Sokka whispered and Katara shook her head quickly, her shoulders drawing together to state her confusion.

There was a yell and they both turned their attention to the girl.

"You don't understand!" She stood and took a few steps toward him. Her face pleading. "I do forgive you; I do want to spend time with you…"

Sokka's eyebrows rose and Katara blinked.

Zuko's face turned from her to the floor and Katara caught his disbelieving expression. The girl continued forward, an arm's length away from the him.

"I want to be with you because… well…" Her voice trailed, her hands wringing nervously. "You're no longer the quiet, polite, kind and handsome boy from the teashop."

Zuko's eyes furrowed in what Katara would have called hurt if she had not known him to be so cold.

The girl's voice lifted with a smile, matching her pretty blush. "You're also strong, troubled and easily angered. Your shy and you try so hard to make me happy even if that means making yourself uncomfortable. Your stubbborn and you'll never give up but, your kind and in your heart... your warm. You're not the boy I thought you were."

Slowly her hand raised and touched his cheek, bringing his face to look at hers. "You're the boy I've fallen in love with."

Sokka's mouth dropped and he looked at his sister in utter confusion. "What's going on!?" he whispered loudly. Katara shook her head again, watching the tears brim around the girl's happy face. Sokka stared as the evil Firebender he knew closed his eyes and pressed his forehead against the girl's and suddenly he felt guilty. This was wrong, this was private...sacred. He remembered emotions from the past flood his mind...Suki, Yeue. He shook his head, turning to grab Katara's arm. "We have to get out of here; we aren't supposed to see this."

Katara looked at him angrily. "What do you mean aren't supposed to? Besides if we move now he'll notice us!"

Their whispering ceased when suddenly the familiar anger of the Fire Prince broke through the calm silence. Both of them looked back to see the girl's rejected face and Zuko's body, tensed with his back to her and a foot away. He spoke with venom in his voice, at her or himself, they couldn't tell.

"You forgot to mention a lying, exiled, murderer."

* * *

And so it starts. Next chapter is nearly finished. Should be up in about two days. I looooove this part. Hopefully our Water Tribe guests are in character and ready to go as the conversation continues.

Story inspired by Metric's Raw Sugar and OneRepublic's Stop and Stare.

P.S Thanks guys for the pm's on the recommended Zutara/Maiko fics. It was interesting to see how they kept Zuko's character and it's been alot easier to flow through this story now. So i'm just going over the end of book 2 and altering a few things... we'll see how this turns out.


	7. VII Unlovable

He could only imagine one thing she would ever lie about to him. It hurt his chest… made him want to clutch his shoulder and teach himself how to breathe again…

She was silent in her guilt, sitting on the marble bench. He drank in the sight of her graceful form, a beautiful flower hidden in the concrete streets of Ba Sing Se, trying to gather light. Most likely this would be the last time he laid his eyes on her.

She looked up at him with a curious and sad stare. "Will you sit with me?"

"No." He rejected. He wanted this over with, wanted her to say her sweet farewell and leave so he could pretend she never existed. Pretend his heart didn't sting.

Jin fiddled with her fingers, gazing at the floor. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean—"

"You didn't do anything wrong." He stopped her apology coldly and turned his angry gaze on her hurt expression. "I know what you're hiding from me anyway."

Green eyes widened in shock and her lips parted. "And you still—"

"I know you're just here to tell me it's over." He finished, forcing himself to continue. If she wanted to delay ripping out his heart… then he would do it for her. "Just tell me you're sick of entertaining my company so I can go home."

She started to shake her head, but he wasn't looking at her anymore. "That's your little secret, isn't it?"

Jin's eyes blurred and she pushed away the hurt to frantically make him see the truth. "You don't understand!" She pushed off the cold marble bench to take a few steps toward him, her movement catching his attention, making him look at her genuine gaze. "I do forgive you; I do want to spend time with you…"

Zuko's heart stopped and he ripped his eyes away from that absolute look of trust. He would not let himself fall for this, would not let himself believe in something he could never have.

"What I wanted to tell you was…"She took a few more timid steps, as if approaching an injured hound. She took in his turned face… that angular jaw clenching and those molten eyes spinning with thoughts. She looked down at her wringing hands as she continued. "You're no longer the quiet, polite, kind and handsome boy from the teashop."

He wanted to scream that he could still be, that he could still be that pitiful, ridiculous boy and answer to Li if she only stayed.

His chest hurt when he realized that no, he couldn't. He was too selfish.

The wonderful sight of his short dark locks teasing his forehead, that pale skin clashing with his intense scar and those soft lips blurred instantly when the next words spilled from her lips with a smile. "You're also strong, troubled and easily angered. Your shy and you try hard to make me happy even if that 

means making yourself uncomfortable. You never give up and in your heart, your warm... You're not the boy I thought you were."

She nearly whimpered as her fingers reached out to caress his scarred cheek, bringing his face to hers. His molten eyes stared at her with shock, fear and…wonder. "You're the boy I've fallen in love with."

Zuko's breath grew labored as he watched her emerald eyes gloss over and leak down her cheeks. _'The boy I've… fallen in love with…'_

The statement nearly knocked the wind out of him.

His throat constricted and his eyes shut tightly as he leaned down to her face. Zuko's mind started to race while his instincts took over, focusing on that hypnotizing affection. Her forehead was cool on his and he tried to let go of all the racing thoughts in his mind. He exhaled in a tremble, rubbing his head on hers, taking in her light scent.

He let go of his mind and grasped onto the feeling of caring for someone else.

His shoulders relaxed and he listened to her quiet breathing.

Jin loved him.

'_No… She loved Li.'_

Amber eyes shot open and his hands dropped from her shoulders. "No…"

Jin started to raise her head at his soft whisper when suddenly she was thrust back a step. She looked up to find him more than an arm's length away from her. It clicked and suddenly she realized she was being shut out.

Zuko's breathing grew hard and labored again, his chest heaving as his face constricted. She watched, rejected, as his fists clenched and his eyes turned from that warm liquid amber to a solid gold.

He glared straight at her, his voice cold and piercing. "You forgot to mention shameful, liar and murderer."

Jin shook her head, opening her mouth to tell him that she knew. That she knew everything… but he stalked toward her with his own thoughts. "You have no idea you who you're dealing with… you have no idea what I've done."

She frowned up at his looming form, realizing exactly how much taller he was than her. "Then tell me what you've done Zu—"

"It's not that easy!" he yelled at her, his hand swiping the air beside them.

From the dark of the alley, blue eyes turned to ice and a crouched body started to lunge. Sokka grabbed a hold of his sister's shoulder and whispered angrily at her, "What do you think you're doing?"

"He's going to hurt her Sokka!" She whispered back, tugging at his hold as she glanced back at the couple. Her eyes scanned the girl's tiny form beneath the Fire Prince. She had been there; she knew how the poor girl must feel.

"Katara, we can't! It'll blow our cover!" He admonished, still feeling that whatever this was, it was between the Firebender and the girl.

"Sokka we both know he's not a nice person, she probably doesn't know who he really is!"

"Tell me what you've done!" Jin urged, looking up at his pained and frustrated expression.

"NO!" He yelled and directed his gaze to her, before that wretchedly beautiful face started to cry again. He cursed himself and aimed his anger at the ground. "It-it's complicated."

It grew silent and Jin brought her arms around herself. Katara analyzed the situation over and over again, waiting for Zuko to snap. Sokka internally debated while he watched the tension lapse into sorrow.

"Do you not trust me?" She whispered quietly. Zuko snapped his attention to her with a pained expression.

"No-no! I do trust you… I trust you more than myself…" He reassured and yet still took a step away from her. "I'm the one who shouldn't be trusted."

It was quiet again and Sokka tugged desperately on his sister's shoulder. "We have to go. Now." Katara ripped away and glared back at his irritated face.

"We make a sudden movement from this position and he will see us." At her statement, Sokka reluctantly backed off.

"Why can't you be trusted? Because you're a Firebender?"

The question caught everyone's attention. While the observers grew more confused, the Prince's face turned to one of horror.

Jin's head tilted at his disbelief, she smiled unhappily despite the tears she felt rolling down her cheeks and tracing her neck. "Or because you're Prince Zuko of the Fire Nation?"

Ice blue eyes melted to the color of the ocean, turning in confusion from their spot in the alley. Katara could not comprehend all she was hearing… and she glanced at her equally stunned brother. Her mouth tightened, looking back at the intense gaze between the couple. Maybe Sokka was right…maybe this was wrong…

The wind left him in a rush and his throat suddenly felt drier than the desert sea. His eyes stung as he felt everything come crashing down around him. She knew. She knew everything and there she stood, her eyes warm with her smile in the fading sunlight. She looked glorious in her misery and he felt out of place where he stood, underneath her acceptance.

_Accepting him..._

He took a step towards her, his hand clenching. He croaked out a simple, "How?"

Jin stepped toward him as well, meeting him halfway. She reached a hand up to trace that ravaged face in sadness. She smiled still, as her eyes flowed. Zuko's eyes flitted closed as her cool touch met his heated skin.

"My scar." He whispered quietly, not surprised to feel a wet drop trail down his disgustingly shameful cheek and clash with her soft fingers.

"No… it was more your eyes…" She gave a small chuckle as he opened them almost on queue.

"I—I don't understand." He urged, turning from her hand. His mind was swimming with urgent screams to run or yell at her. His heart banged in his chest with his boiling blood. His throat constricted again, squeezing tears from his eyes.

Jin sighed and let her hands slide down his jaw and neck to his arm. "I've known you were a Firebender since you walked me home…and who you really were since the day of the attack."

His eyes widened and he snapped his attention to her. "That long?"

She nodded helplessly. He turned his gaze from her, his hand rising to brush through his hair. It was a false gesture of relief and his teeth clenched, glancing at her timid figure before looking away. It just wasn't possible… he had been so careful. And still she…

'_You're the boy I've fallen in love with.'_

He gasped for air as he swung back to face her. "You…knew and you still…" It was too much at one time and his brows drew in frustration at his struggle to deal with it. "…love me?"

Jin blushed, but frowned and stepped toward him lightly. "I do…I love you… for you and no one else." She gave carefully, not exactly knowing how present all this information and still keep him from running from her.

His glowing eyes ripped away from her with an angry face. "This isn't right… you're supposed to run away… or scream." He shook his head in desperate confusion. "You're supposed to hate me."

She shook her head, reaching towards his trembling form. "I don't!"

"Are you mocking me?"

"No, please—"

" Is this some kind of sick joke!?" He yelled, sidestepping her with a glare. "Oh I get it, is this a Dai Li trap!?"

Jin's heart stopped and she yelled through her teeth at the accusation. "Stop it!"

"Sokka…" Katara whispered, stuck between running out there and staying exactly where she was. Sokka's face drew in worry as he watched the crying face of the girl, pleading with Zuko.

"I'm Fire Nation, Jin!" He yelled and released his fists, igniting a blast of flame in each palm, the fire growing hungrily in the air. Her green eyes lit yellow in the shadow of the blaze, she watched hopelessly as his golden eyes shone with the eerie light. "My Father is responsible for your parents!"

Her hands rose to cover her mouth and her eyes widened, mortified at his claim.

"That makes me responsible for their death! I helped in this war, attacking the innocent for my father…hunting to kill the Avatar for him!" Zuko yelled, revealing in the heat of the fire, releasing his fury. His wrath grew, losing control while subconsciously he realized he wasn't angry at her. This was so much more than that…. He was so angry and so lost. He wanted shout but he was afraid it would come out as a cry. Memories came rushing to him, making him feel sick. He had done so many things for his honor…they had made so much sense and now…and now… "I may as well be my father!"

He screamed.

Katara shot out from the alley like whiplash as soon as the fire ignited. Sokka yelled, his cry melting with the Fire Prince's blame. The Waterbending girl crouched low, her hand going to her pouch when suddenly she was tackled from behind, barely three feet from the alley. Looking up she saw Sokka's shaking head and peeved expression. "Are you insane!?" He yelled and glanced at the back of the Firebender and Jin's covered face.

Katara was about to yell in protest when Zuko's scream beat her to it. The cry was full of anger and confusion… pain. Sokka quickly grabbed her arm and tugged her back towards the ally.

"We need to leave now! While Zuko's distracted!"

Katara shook her head, pushing back the urge to Waterbend her brother in order to save the girl. "What about—"

A loud slapping noise rang out from behind them and they both whipped their head around to watch the flames die in the air, leaving flecks of hot smoke in their midst. Jin was staring sadly at Zuko's shocked face, angled to the ground.

Her hand had been cold, like a bucket of water. He stared at the concrete, his cheek tingling and his mind numb with surprise. The short lived wrath seeped from his form and he closed his eyes slowly as he felt it slip away like a backstabbing friend.

It went silent.

Jin lowered her hand, her eyes streaming. She sniffed as she walked forward, reaching up to grasp his head, turning those lost eyes on her. She looked at him in sorrow, showing him that she had just been scared, rejected and torn in so many different ways. "Stop trying to make me hate you Zuko." She whispered, her thumb caressing the tender skin on his perfect cheek.

"Please…stop." She whispered again as she watched the golden eyes flicker across her face. "I love you…I do, please believe me."

She was about to plead with him again when suddenly his hands brought her towards him, gathering her frail body in his warm embrace. His was hot and solid, even his tears were warm as he buried his face in her neck. "I'm not trying to make you hate me…"

She closed her eyes, letting her fingers curl on his chest.

"I don't want you to hate me…I just—This is so…confusing and I—" He choked and cut himself off, closing his eyes. "I'm sorry."

She smiled gently and pulled away from him, looking up at his weary face. "It's alright Zuko."

His breath caught suddenly as he heard her whisper her reassurance with tender care. Her stained cheeks curved in a small smile and his chest hurt from the look she gave him…that impossible look of affection. He needed to hear it again; he needed to hear it until he died. He shivered at the thought and leaned forward to her face, his eyes closing as he whispered against her parted lips, "Say it again."

She frowned at his pained face, "What?"

"My name."

She blinked but complied, closing her eyes and lowering her voice to a small touch on his mouth, "Zuko."

He groaned loudly and pressed his lips against hers. The heat from his emotions spread like wildfire and her cool touch calmed him like the sweetest drug. His hand reached up to bury his fingers in those silky locks he had wanted to touch since she had first smiled at him. The Prince felt his blood boil, his skin heat and he pulled away to exhale quickly before catching those shaded green eyes, lidded lazily. "Zuko…" She whispered.

He kissed her again.

"Katara, now!" Sokka yelled his whisper and this time he didn't wait, instead he turned towards the way they came and pulled his sister with him. Katara's eyes watched in awe from over her shoulder, at the evil Firebender devoting himself to the small Earth Kingdom girl. Her blue eyes blinked, her mind racing at the strange and passionate sight until the alley closed in and the couple was gone from her vision.

Jin felt his heat surround her, swallow her and drown her. She tried to part her lips for air and she gasped inwardly when his velvet tongue found hers. His passion filled her from top to bottom and tears fell at its overwhelming power… his overwhelming affection.

Zuko was giving everything to her and she shivered, trying to keep up with every wonderful flawed thing he was.

His mind nagged and he pulled away just enough so he could still feel those lips on his. His exhale was a ripple through his body and he felt her heavy breathing mingle his own.

"Jin…" He whispered carefully, like a prayer of relief.

She smiled despite the seemingly never-ending tears flowing down her cheeks. "Zuko."

He rested his forehead on hers, calming himself against her cool skin. So many things were running through his mind, all about such different things. He could not let her go, he would not ever let anything harm her… but he knew she would never be safe with him. Safe from the war…from Azula, from the Fire Nation.

What of the war? The Avatar? Azula, his father, his honor, the Dai Li, his uncle, his banishment. Everything in his world was turning upside down in an alarming rate. His conscious screamed at him that this was wrong, all of it. This girl… his throne… He tried to relax his breathing, to ignore everything else and melt into her again.

Fire flashed through his mind and he resisted the urge to explode again.

Slowly he let go, giving them space as he looked at the ground. His chest hurt again as he prepared himself for what he was about to do.

"I'm sorry."

"What for?" She questioned lightly.

His eyes closed tightly and he shook his head. "I-I can't."

Jin's eyes widened, "Z-Zuko, what's wro—"

He pulled away and willed himself not to look at those most likely pained emerald irises. "I'm sorry."His hands loosened from hers.

Jin's heart shattered as she watched him turn from her and start to walk away. "No—don't go!" She started to run when he did, but her ankle twisted in agony and she slammed forward onto the cold biting ground, nothing like the heat of the Fire Prince from seconds ago. "Zuko!" She called, snapping her head up to find his retreating back. The sun had finally set and the darkness was setting in, enclosing the small garden and swallowing her vision.

He was gone.

* * *

Iroh's mind snapped to the back of the house. His honey eyes narrowed dangerously as his senses picked up. Turning to look at the door to the empty lot behind their tiny apartment, the former-General rose from his sitting position at the table and started cautiously to the back entrance.

He rested a hand on the sliding door as he waited. There was a thump and a grunt of some sort and Iroh could sense a person's presence. Pushing the door open slightly to gaze out, the old man's eyes changed from threatening to concern.

The door slid open quickly and he started to rush to his nephew. The Prince was on his knees near the house, his hands clutching at his hair and groaning.

"Zuk—"

The boy gave a dangerous yell, his body erupting in a spout of flames, shooting of high into the night before they died down with his cry.

Iroh lowered his arms from the blast and stepped toward his nephew, kneeling in front of him. "Zuko, my son, are you—"

The boy lifted his head, exposing his tear streaked face and lost expression. "Uncle…" he choked. "What's happening to me?"

The man frowned in worry and he wrapped his arms around the young man, helping him inside.

A light flutter tickled Zuko's ear and he stopped the slow gait with his uncle to look up into the sky. Iroh looked at his nephew when he realized he wasn't moving and watched as the boy lifted his arm to catch a flyaway paper in the night, one of many littering the sky and decorating the city.

"Come on nephew, let's get you inside…" Zuko started moving again, bringing the paper to his face tiredly, almost in a daze when suddenly he was faced to face with the ink painting of the Avatar's bison.

Amber eyes widened desperately.

The Avatar was in Ba Sing Se.

* * *

Whoa! My cheeks heated when I wrote that kiss.

I wonder what it would be like to make out with an uncontrollable Firebender… dreamy sigh

Anyway, this was a fun one to write.** My apologies from the constant pov change between our main characters and the watertribers**. But it was necessary for future chapters. I tried to put dividers between each Pov change, but Katara's parts were not long enough for that.

Hopefully that was not too distracting.

Once again, Harland's 'fly' and Darren Hayes' "Unlovable" were the driving force behind this chapter (this story).

Thanks everyone for all the reviews! They are greatly appreciated and unexpected for the ship! The support really motivates me to continue this story.

More jinko next chapter. As well as some more Katara/Sokka pov. Also, I hope everyone can tell I'm still going by the episodes, next will be Lake Loagai and so on…. Yes?


	8. VIII Misery

_The rage filled his heart, the heat surrounding him._

"_Zuko…"_

_The cool touch on his forehead was a relief and he slowly drank it in. The soothing feeling embraced him, nestled in his arms. But it was short lived and the immense heat of fire flushed through his body, flames igniting off his skin, dancing around his form and burning away at the cool touch._

"_I-it hurts!" _

_He tried desperately to save it, to cradle it in his arms, but the fire was spreading rapidly._

"_Zuko! Stop it!" She screamed, her hair flowing, catching in the fire. Her tears trailed and dried before falling from her face._

_His heart pounded, his hands desperately trying to grab her, to save her. Her green eyes widened, staring at him with fear and hopelessness._

_A burning flower under his flame._

"_Zuko!" She screamed, turning from him and shielding herself with her arms._

"_No! Jin!" His hand reached out to her._

_A screech echoed through the darkness and with it a shot of bright flaming blue. Jin screamed in anguish, his own yell of horror merging with hers._

_The laugh grew and he watched, shocked as Jin crumpled to the ground and began to fade away…_

_Little cackles and sparks of blue danced around his feet and he turned quickly around to face the murderer._

"_Silly little girl…" Azula whispered._

Zuko yelled in anger, his body lurching painfully forward, nearly knocking himself over. He gasped for air, choking on it in relief as his lungs struggled to exhale…inhale…

He shuddered, the hot sweat trailing down his body suddenly turning ice cold and racking his form with shivers. His eyes blinked frantically as his brain urged them to make sense, to focus.

He sighed out, closing his eyes when he realized he was in his room in Ba Sing Se and he had just been having a nightmare.

'_Just a nightmare…'_

Azula's laugh whispered through his ears and he cringed, throwing the blanket off his body. He stood, letting the cool air hit his bare chest and ruffle his hair.

"_Zuko! Stop it!"_

His hand clutched his forehead and he begged his mind to stop tormenting him. Pushing his fingers through his locks he opened the bedroom door and made his way towards the kitchen. The wood floor was chilling on his bare feet and he welcomed the refreshing sensation from the heat of his nightmare. The baggy, untied pants hung low on his hips and he remembered not changing from the night before when his Uncle had put him to sleep…

Last night when he had….

"_You're the boy I've fallen in love with… Zuko."_

He groaned loudly and his hand clutched his face once more.

Iroh turned around to see Zuko in the doorway, looking miserable. He frowned warily as he took in the boy's shivering form and sluggish movements. "You should not be up Nephew." He stated, setting down his soup ladle in the pot where he had been making lunch. He crossed the room to rest a hand on Zuko's shoulder, peeking up at the boy's face. "You should be in bed, you're not feeling well."

Zuko lowered his hand and looked at his Uncle bleary eyed. "I can't sleep." He voiced quietly and found that his throat was sore and itched against his neck.

Iroh frowned once more, helping the Prince to sit down at the low table. No, it was no wonder he could not sleep. He had been listening to the poor boy thrash and yell from the other room. It was going to get much worse, Iroh knew and he needed to be patient and attentive.

"Are you hungry?" he asked, heading back to the soup.

The thought of food made Zuko's stomach churn and grow nauseated. He shook his head at his Uncle's wondering face. "No, but… if I could have something for my throat…"

Iroh nodded, turning towards the cupboard. "I have just the tea to fix that…"

Zuko clenched his mouth at the mention of tea, but did not complain.

It was quiet except for the rummaging sound of tea being made and when the heat had boiled and Zuko held a warm steaming cup in his hand, Iroh spoke from his seat across from him.

"You have been sleeping all morning since you collapsed in bed yesterday…"

Zuko said nothing as he downed the warm drink; the sensation soothing as it swallowed passed his throat, yet irritating when gone.

Iroh took the empty cup from his nephew's hand to refill it. "Do you want to tell me what happened last night that has made you so sick?"

"_I'm Fire Nation Jin! I helped hurt the innocent….I'm responsible for your parents death!"_

"_Stop trying to make me hate you, Zuko!"_

He sighed; trying to forget everything and go on like nothing had happened didn't seem like an option anymore. He looked up at his Uncle's eyes and took the cup, "No."

Iroh frowned as he watched the boy devour the tea once more. "I know that you're having a tough time, Prince Zuko, but you're changing and growing." He watched as those amber eyes flickered up at him. "You need to be patient—"

The cup clattered and broke against the wall and Iroh's eyes widened as Zuko's fist slammed into the table, the wood splintering, "Patient for what!? Patient for the war? For father to accept me? For Azula to kill me? Or for Jin to die?" He yelled, his hand ripping away from the table, his jaw clenched as he felt the yelling in his throat burn and a banging begin to ring in his ears.

Iroh stood and walked towards him, his hands grasping the boy's shoulders. "Zuko, you need to calm down…" He whispered, the shoulders he held slumped beneath his fingers. The man's brow furrowed at the hard breathing Prince. "What do you mean by Jin dying?"

Zuko shook his head, "Nothing."

"Prin—"

"It was a dream I had." He gave and turned slowly to look at his guardian. "I think I hurt her… killed her." He whispered and Iroh could see the pained expression and the fear in his eyes.

"You would never do such a thing, nephew, I know you wouldn't." He urged and stared into those amber eyes with conviction.

Zuko's voice broke. "She loves me Uncle, she told me she loved me and I-I…" he choked and his Uncle wrapped an arm around him, helping him stand.

"Don't let it eat away at you Zuko." He advised while directing the boy to his room. "You need to rest."

"No…I-Ican't." He retorted, his mind racing as everything from the night before raced back to him. He couldn't sit here and waste away. He had to see Jin, had to get on his knees and beg for her forgiveness. His mind blared with memories of her horrified face—No, no. He had to get out of Ba Sing Se and restore his honor--

His conscious clung to that familiar territory, that safe and fueling strength of hatred and determination. He had to capture the avatar to redeem himself.

The Avatar. Yes-yes that's right, the Avatar.

"The Avatar is in the city." He ground out and Iroh's eyes widened at the familiar tone of obsession.

"Zuko, the Avatar is no longer your destin—"

"He's the key to restoring my honor." He retorted, ignoring the burning itch of his throat.

Iroh glared, his hand holding desperately onto the boy's weak shoulders. "Don't do this Zuko--!"

The boy ripped from the grasp, nearly stumbling backwards. "No! I have to!"

"If you start searching again you will lose all the good things that have been happening to us! We can start a life here—"

"Good things for you—we can't start a life here. We're Fire Nation! I will not live in a city of lies—" His mouth choked as her smile pierced his mind. "I won't." he forced out, pushing away the memory of those shimmering eyes underneath wispy brown hairs.

"Don't do this nephew—your sick and you need time to think—" Iroh urged, reaching a hand out to his nephew.

Zuko sidestepped him, backing away towards his room. "Think about what? About lowering myself to live in this wretched city? Or letting Azula replace me when she captures the Avatar herself?"

"Please—"

"No!" he shouted, his shoulders squaring as he glared at the old man. "I'm sick of this city, sick of hiding….I'm sick of her." He ended in a frustrated whisper before piercing his Uncle with a stare again. "And I'm sick of you."

Iroh lowered his hand as the Prince turned towards his room, slamming the door shut with a bang. There was loud shuffling and it wasn't long before Iroh heard the ring of steel and the thuds of someone leaving out the window.

* * *

Katara was quiet as she brushed her hair, her face watching the mirror in a daze.

"_I'm not trying to make you hate me I just--"_

"_Zuko…"_

She frowned, blinking as she directed her gaze at the floor. There was a weight in her stomach as she remembered the night before. Sokka had been right, what they had seen was private. She felt like a snake with an evil secret and it made her sick.

"_I'm destined to kill the Avatar!"_

Still… Her eyes shifted to the side as she remembered the girl's shocked face, her flowing tears and Zuko's angry fire. It was difficult to understand the whole thing, but alarm bells were ringing through her mind. She might not understand if the girl was in danger or not…but she did know something…

Zuko was here in the city and he was still very angry.

She exhaled and pulled together her tresses and beginning the intricate process of a braid, wondering slightly if Sokka had already warned the others.

They had raced home not turning to see if the Firebender was following them and had found Aang and Toph asleep. They had wearily resigned themselves to bed, both to mentally and physically exhausted to bring It up.

There was a soft knock on her door and she called them in quietly, looking over her shoulder to see her big brother step in, closing the door behind him.

"Everything okay Sokka?"

His lips pursed and he scratched his arm, she noticed the gesture and waited patiently as he came forward and sat across from her.

"Look Katara." His hands came out as his blue eyes set in determination. "I don't think we should tell Aang or Toph about Zuko."

"What!?" She exclaimed, her hands dropping from her hair, the braid unraveling against her back. She fumed at him, her eyes turning to ice.

He held his hands up in front of him defensively, "Just hear me out okay?"

She drew her lips together, raising an eyebrow as her arms crossed.

"Right now Aang has a lot on his plate; the Earth King, learning Earth Bending and looking for Appa… he doesn't need to worry about Zuko right now."

"But Zuko—"

Sokka cut her off. "Zuko doesn't even know we're here."

She glared, "How do you figure?"

"Cause' he'd be fighting us right now and not lip locking girls." He retorted as if it was obvious, Katara had to admit that he had a point.

"But what about the girl?" She questioned, remembering the fearful green eyes.

"So Prince Grumpy has a girlfriend, good for him!" He shrugged before looking at his sister reassuringly. "I don't think she's in any trouble and somehow I don't think Sparky will have any time for us with her on his plate."

"You know that as soon as he finds out we're here, it won't matter." She declared and Sokka sighed.

"We'll cross that bridge when we come to it, but think about it, worrying about Zuko right now isn't our top priority. And even if we do acknowledge that he's here, confronting him will only delay us from finding Appa and meeting the Earth King."

"Okay Sokka, but we'll have to tell Aang soo—"

The door slid open and the Avatar came bounding in, "Hey guys, you all ready for Appa searching today?"  
Katara blinked at his happy face and when he looked down at their serious expressions, he frowned. "Everything okay?" He questioned as Toph came up behind him, yawning loudly.

"Yep, everything's peachy Aang." Sokka commented, smiling and standing.

"What were you guys talking about?" Toph questioned, looking forward into the distance.

Katara stood and gave a nervous laugh, her hands returning to her forgotten braid. "Um…hair."

Toph's eyes narrowed, her toes clenching the floor, but she said nothing.

Aang shrugged and Sokka slapped his back. "Alright buddy, let's get out there and find that Bison."

* * *

The skin was purple and black in some areas. Her finger prodded the wound gently, sending tingles up her leg.

Jin sighed, her cheek rubbing against her knee as she stared unseeingly at the broken ankle, the bandages and stick lay beside her. The fire from the hearth was tiny and almost pointless, but it was all she could manage at the moment. Besides, the memory of fire was currently unwanted. She sighed and let her body grow limp to lie back on the floor.

She felt completely useless and she hated it. Staring up at the blurring ceiling she wondered if she would ever stop crying. She didn't bother holding back as the tears dripped quietly down her cheeks.

'_I'm sorry. I-I can't.'_

She sniffed, looking away from the ceiling as if looking away from the memory, trying to remember something happier, something distracting.

His chuckle drifted through her mind; bringing up the rare sight of his smile as his eyes warmed on her. It was a memory from a few days ago, the day after the attack, when she had brought him lunch for the first time.

'_You don't have to pay me back.' He had said, but had taken the basket, brushing his fingers on hers. She had blushed and looked away._

'_I'm not paying you back, this is my gift to you… and I expect payment.'_

_He had chuckled and the sound had made her twist to watch his soft lips turn upwards and his amber eyes melt. He gave her a sideways smirk, his hair brushing his forehead and his burnt skin creasing, making his jaw look more angular. He looked older and handsome._

_She told him so. His face heated and he turned away from her, the chuckle dying with his flustered frown._

_She had laughed and stepped forward, prodding his chest with a finger. 'Oh please don't look away, I want to see your dashing face.'_

_His frown grew and he was caught between her and the counter. 'He-hey stop—I'm not—'_

_She laughed and looked up at him warmly, his eyes catching hers to share that quiet smile, his lips not turning but his eyes lighting up his face. This time she had remembered to stay quiet, so she could drink in his unguarded features._

She turned toward the ground, closing her eyes and recalling every inch of his pale face, every stray lock of hair framing his forehead, the ragged lines of his scar and the long lashes of his right eye. The tears were still flowing, dripping down the damp trails of her cheeks. She huffed again, getting louder.

'_I-can't'_

'_Say it again.'_

'_My name…'_

His groan chaseed through her mind and she felt her heart constrict and her breathing hitch. The memory of his longing kiss and desperate embrace assaulted her and the sobs grew louder, her body pulling forward to curl around herself.

The rejection stung like ice water in her veins. She shivered as her mind grew exhausted. She imagined his warm fingers along her neck, her arms, and her waist. The crying kept on and yet she knew that tomorrow she would go back, that she would go and apologize, to start over.

To tell him she loved him again. And again, and again…until her told her he did not love her back.

The thought was a sad one and she still doubted her effect on him, doubted she would go anywhere tomorrow, useless as she was. He obviously wanted nothing to do with her.

'_Say it again.'_

She moaned, willing the kiss to go away but the fire burned her lips and cheeks, blanketing her and lulling her sleep with dreams of his intense gaze.

* * *

The window frame groaned in protest at the Blue Spirit's grip. It splintered angrily at the intruder and sighed in relief when the thief slipped inside, releasing the wood.

His landing was silent through the small house and he rose from his knees to sidestep to the shadows, blending in except for the cold mask on his face, shining under the moonlight.

His stride was careful and precise on the floorboards as he crept toward the form on the floor.

The tiny fire in the pit flickered from its useless shelter underneath the embers. He eyed it wearily from behind grinning eyes. A black clad hand swayed forward, flickering and letting the fire eat hungrily at the air, sparking a thank you as it danced happily.

He turned back to look down at the sad figure, sleeping deeply on the cold wood.

Her face was turned towards the ground and her wispy hair draped her cheeks, drawing forward to tickle her neck. Her lips were parted and he could hear her exhale against them. He admired the way her dress creased on her… the way her hand folded next to her head… the way the tear trails glistened on the curve of her cheek.

Zuko kneeled and reached out, dragging a soft gloved finger across her face, sweeping her silky hair behind her ear. He drank in the sight of her pale face, her soft skin and relaxed expression. Reaching up quickly her pushed the cold mask onto his head, so he could look at her for the last time fully.

He knew that if he chose this route tonight, this would be the last time he ever saw her. The thought alone was enough to make him want to lie next to her and simply forget about the god damn Avatar and his father.

Closing his eyes and turning away he gathered his strength and looked back down at her, only to lose it once more.

She looked completely beautiful to him and it was a perfect last memory of her…except maybe those teasing green eyes… he wished he could see them one last time without tears blurring their color.

'_Tears I caused.'_ His mind said in disgust. He sighed, cursing the girl lying at his knees. If only she had no interest in him, if only she had not decided to drink tea that day… he wouldn't ever feel flustered and uncomfortable, jealous and protective, passionate and furious… he wouldn't doubt what his future was or wish for something else. He wouldn't be sneaking into some peasant's house to cry beside their form.

His throat tightened and he swallowed painfully, holding back that itch in his face to begin to sob. He leaned forward and slowly took her chin towards him, looking at her delicate feature before closing his eyes to press his lips against hers.

They were cool and sweet, just as he remembered; chilling his fevered state and making him shiver. His lips nipped against hers, as if asking for a response or simply enjoying the feather-like feeling of her skin on his.

She gave a little sigh against his mouth and the sound made his amber eyes flicker open, a hand dragging down her chest to finger the sash on her waist. He was oh so careful and precise, begging each moment he could have a bit longer without her waking. His whole body was tensed as he caressed and felt, contracted at his boldness and retraining the urge to smother himself on her.

Leaving her lips he began to drag his mouth along her chin and down her neck, to the edge of her collar. His eyes were shut tightly, his brow drawn as he memorized every sensation of her skin on his lips, his burned skin relishing in the feeling of her soft nape.

Agni he had wanted to touch her like this for so long and yet he only realized this now, only now when he would leave her forever. His fingers trembled as they left her waist, his other hand pushing against the floor to bring himself over her.

The yellow gaze traced her lashes and he shook. Leaning forward one last time, he placed a small kiss on her forehead. "I'm so…sorry…Jin" He whispered, hesitating as she exhaled, her breath tickling his skin. "I'm so sorry."

He wanted to say so much more. The memories came rushing back, all the time they had spent together and yet as short as it was—he had never been so happy…not since his mother…

Because he had been happy—she had made him uncomfortable and flustered and angry and misplaced, but even so, he had been oddly content. The feelings had been real and made him feel alive.

He wanted to say so much more…his lips parted and his breath hitched. He knew the words…

Tearing away he quickly stood and reached behind his head, pulling the mask over and down, his frustrated expression instantly changing to an eternal wicked smile. He had to leave now, there was no life here meant for him.

The demon's face took one last look at the sleeping girl and then the Blue Spirit was gone.

* * *

Sorry for the long wait guys! I've spent the past two or so weeks adjusting to life in Japan! Yep Japan! You can go cry now because let me tell you, its frickin amazing. (see my profile for more details)

Anyway updates should be back to normal now. About 4 days wait or so, unless things get hectic again. Hope you like this chapter, I tried really hard to keep Zuko in character near the end. In Blue Spirit character anyway. Its really hard to keep Sparky in place with romance stories cause…he aint really all that romantic.

Lol, "I MUST CAPTURE AVATAR TO RESTORE MY HONOUR!"

"Oh Zuko, your so sweet!"

See you next time!


	9. IX Fever

The boy was breathing hard again.

His face was slick with sweat and his hair was matted to his forehead. The humid wind of Ba Sing Se blew through the open window to graze the exposed skin of the Fire Prince, but to no avail. He was still heaving exhales and his form trembled, his bare chest shivering despite his fever-racked body.

Iroh sighed and dipped the small hand cloth back into the wooden bucket of ice water. He let it soak as he looked down at his nephew. The boy had been tossing and turning since he had collapsed last night, falling into a nightmarish sickness. The Prince had finally given in under his exhausting and troubling thoughts, letting his subconscious take over.

But even in his miserable state, Iroh knew Zuko needed this…uncomfortable as it was to watch.

The old General lifted the wet cloth once more, wringing it out to place on his forehead. Before he got a chance there was a soft knock from the front door.

Frowning, he stood with a quiet grunt and began a mental list of who could possibly visit them so early in their shabby apartment.

He took a guess as he unlocked and swung open the door, "Young Jin."

The deep forest eyes met his wizened ones briefly before directing to the floor as if ashamed to be seen at the tea maker's doorstep. "Good morning Mushi." She whispered quietly and while he could hear the light kindness, the usual teasing tone was replaced with sorrow.

"What brings the lovely girl to our home this morning?" He asked, adding cheerfulness to his tone to hide his exasperation and curiosity.

He caught those eyes again and was surprised to see them red-rimmed and sunken in a pale face. She looked as miserable as the boy in the next room, except she had no fever he could see.

She gave a sad smile, her head dipping. "Is Zuko home?"

"Yes he's—"

_Zuko. _

He coughed back his surprise and nearly choked doing so. "—h-home…but I'm afraid he is not in the best condition."

Her head tilted in new confusion and obvious concern. He drew back the door and motioned her inwards while her brows drew together. Looking at her slumped form and Zuko's despair as well as his new found name….Iroh began to piece together what must have happened two days ago.

"Unfortunately, my nephew has caught a very bad fever." He commented and watched as her green eyes clouded.

"Is he alright?" She asked, but her head was facing in the direction of Zuko's bedroom.

He was quiet as he observed her and his eyes warmed at the sight of someone concerned for the well being of his nephew. Not since the gentle Ursa had anyone ever worried over the discarded boy. No one but him.

And it was about time someone realized how precious he was, he inhaled to keep back that familiar sting in his eyes and he forced himself to continue. "He will probably be bedridden for a few days, but I think he will be just fine."

If not better.

She turned towards him, her face no less anxious. "Please, if you need anything—" She began.

"Actually I must speak with my new employer to arrange for our new apartment and teashop. I would also like to pick up some supplies and some medicine…" He shifted, analyzing her awaiting expression. "If you would not mind watching over him while I…?"

She shook her head and smiled, but it did not reflect the happiness she intended. "Of course."

He nodded gratefully, having really needed to go out and also noticing the need in her eyes to see the Prince. He motioned to the hall and she turned, but he quickly called out, "Oh Jin—"

She glanced back at him over her shoulder. "You can call me Uncle Iroh, you know."

Her eyes widened before a faint blush graced her features, all her misery strewn face could manage in her slight embarrassment. He watched her walk down the hall and disappear into the boy's room.

This too, he knew, Zuko needed.

Maybe more than anything.

He moaned, his face tensing and muscles contracting as if in pain.

Jin immediately rang the cloth, leaning over him to press it against his ravaged cheek. He fell into it automatically, his body melting into her hands with relief.

She shivered as she took in the sight of his perfect face covering the scar, long lashes adorning a flawless cheek and soft lips parting to exhale silently. She swallowed and averted her gaze to her hands as she brushed his hair back and let the cloth lie on his forehead.

She had been there for almost two days since she first saw him like this, leaving only to eat or refill the water bucket and get him more blankets. Still, the Prince looked as bad as she had first seen him and while he showed signs of it, she didn't allow herself to notice him growing worse.

Iroh had been immensely kind, not arguing with her when she denied going home. They had taken turns, watching the sick boy and cooking meals for themselves, or making tea and chatting quietly to avoid being worried.

So far there had only been two nightmares.

The first time he had simply thrashed to consciousness, alert in a panic and desperately asking Iroh what was going on as she stood by the door, ringing an extra sheet in her fists. His uncle had calmed him with soothing words and a cool drink, lulling the boy back to his restless sleep.

The second time had startled her awake, nearly screaming at his own shout of horror. He had fought uncontrollably, hands sliding down his face as if to rip it off. She had rushed to his side, trying to speak to him gently, but the whispers fell on deaf ears. Finally she had thrown her arms around him, pulling him onto her lap and holding his head close to her neck, relying on her instincts to help him. She had leaned in close and whispered his name again and again into his ears, begging that he could hear her and that he was alright…

His desperate moving had stopped and amber eyes flickered open to look straight up at her. She could have sworn that he had been wide awake with the intensity he had stared at her, but he had said nothing and slowly fallen back to sleep minutes afterward.

She sighed loudly and rested heavily against the wall in her sitting position, allowing her eyes to trace across the Firebender lazily. She felt heavy with exhaustion but she blinked, trying to focus on watching him just a bit longer. But her mind protested with irate memories.

"_I'm sorry. I-I can't."_

She had half a mind to dump the ice water on his face to wake him up and demand why.

_Why?_

She lifted a hand to hold her head, her tired state bringing up anger and a headache. The recollections reminded her of the tension between them, a thick fog hanging above, ready to settle in once he awoke.

He groaned, turning onto his side and her heart thumped against her chest at the sound. The fast heartbeat bruised with each inhale, sore from the sight of his back…walking away from her.

Sleep tugged her senses and as she slowly gave in, her mind dreaming heavily on those intense eyes and their anger...their sadness

* * *

_The honey colored eyes warmed, a heartbreaking forced smile as she lifted the fabric of her hood and then turned away, fading into the darkness…_

"_Mom!" He cried out, his voice young, strangled and hopeless._

_He screamed—his hand reached out as he tried to run for her. He had to save her, had to bring her back and ask what he had to do—he needed her to tell him—_

_He could hear Azula's cackling laugh behind him and felt the tears drip, "Mom!" This time his voice was loud, rough and mature but the desperation was still there and it carried him into reality_

His body hunched, gravity pulling him to earth and wind filling his lungs like being born again. His eyes took in the dark night and the sheets clutched to his chest, soaked in sweat. An instant ring sounded through his ears and his head felt like it had been split in half.

Is this another nightmare?

Breathing hard he dazedly raised a hand to his face in a tremble, scared to feel his cheek.

His fingers met gruff, burnt skin, the ugly feeling against his fingertips making him sigh in relief. Yet his eyes hardened, remembering the vision of his perfect face… Pushing the thoughts away he brought up his other hand to rub his eyes and ever so slowly adjust to being awake.

The drips of sweat running down his back and the sticky sheets made him feel sick and the constant heat he was radiating didn't help. Tugging off the blankets, air hit his body and he shivered violently. Suddenly he couldn't tell if he was too hot or too cold.

Pushing the bedding away, the Prince began to rise to his feet. The motion made him a bit lightheaded and he focused on the still wall as he gained balance.

The moon shone from its low point in the sky, its glow draping across his room lazily. He took a few deep breaths before turning to look at his door, intending to get away from his pitiful state.

His heart stopped and he gasped.

The dark shadow of a figure sitting upright on the wall next to his door took him by surprise. He blinked hurriedly, waiting as the light adjusted and he could make out the slender figure, a softly curved cheek framed by wispy hairs…

That smooth nape, that dark green dress…

"Jin." He whispered in voice full of raspy disbelief. He took a cautious step forward and noticed the bucket of water and ice by her side.

Blurred memories flashed in his mind—the cold touch on his face and the sweet smell of citrus and cinnamon, green eyes looking worriedly at his own, the slight brush of fabric on his arm…

He stepped closer and this time remembered the last time he had really seen her… his goodbye.

Looking away irritably he felt foolish about the whole thing. Hating that it had been for nothing, his pride falling on the fact that here she was again despite that precious farewell.

Yet his heart thudded in relief that she was…

Turning back to his cot he picked up a neatly folded blanket at the end of it, one that hadn't been soaked through. Coming back to her form he willingly stepped right up to her sleeping frame and gently pulled her forward with one hand as the other lamely pulled the blanket over her shoulders.

Adjusting the cloth, he let her rest against the wall once more. She sighed, her lips parting to exhale and her eyelids fluttering.

He twisted away quickly, grabbing onto the door and sliding it open to get away from her before he did something foolish.

Zuko walked down the hall, opening the living room entrance only to find a dark closet. Frowning, he looked behind his shoulder at the door on the other side of the hallway.

This fever had obviously taken a toll on him…but he could have sworn that this was the living room. In fact, he knew it was.

Confused, the boy began to notice that the corridor was slightly larger than before. And that the color was a pale green and not a pale yellow. He argued internally, body tensing when he realized that this was just another wicked dream.

...but there was no hiss of his sisters lightening, no dark figure of his father, no slither of dragons…and no engulfing darkness to swallow his mother.

He was at the opposite door now and slid it back to find a very unfamiliar looking living room.

But a very familiar looking Uncle.

Iroh looked up at the sudden entrance as he carried plates towards the small table. Wondering if the young Earth Kingdom girl had come out to have something to drink, Iroh was very surprised to see Prince Zuko in the doorway. The boy sported a very confused looking expression, matching his very confused bed hair.

He was quiet and so Iroh placed the large plate of tea cakes on the low table, along with the other tray of teacups and pots. He kept his gaze on his nephew as he sat. "Zuko."

A royal eyebrow was raised. "Uncle?"

Iroh picked up a cake to him like a toast and gave a smile. "It is good to see you up."

"Where am I?"

The old man's smile suddenly grew, teeth covered in white crème from his midnight snack, "This is our new apartment! Isn't it great?"

Zuko frowned and said nothing.

Iroh chewed, continuing, "You have been sleeping off your sickness for almost three days now."

The boy walked forward at the comment, kneeling at the low table. "I feel like it's been longer…"

Iroh watched the boy from the corner of his eyes, trying to act aloof as he let his worry wash away. He quickly finished his cake, stroking his beard. "How are you feeling?"

"Tired… and a bit confused."

"Confused?"

Zuko nodded, hoping that the old man wouldn't ask what he was confused about, because he had no idea. But something was off, he felt lighter... like something was missing.

Something that he didn't really miss.

"Perhaps you need a bit more sleep."

The Prince nodded, but instead of taking the advice and going back to his room, he leaned forward and snatched a crème cake from his Uncle's plate to pop it quickly into his mouth.

The General's eyebrows rose, blinking in disbelief as his nephew swallowed the pastry and smile.

Smile.

"This is delicious." Zuko commented, his voice raspy in fever yet light in simple joy.

It took a while before Iroh could reply, his mind blank in confusion. "…o-oh? Well…Jin's a good cook…"

The smile disappeared and the eyes grew in warmth, but the expression was a somber one. "Yes, she is."

He took another piece.

She's beautiful.

Lying on his back, his head turned toward her sleeping form against the wall, his mind stopped racing to rest on that thought.

He dreaded to see those green eyes full of hate and disappointment. He shifted onto his side to look at her straight on, her form suddenly vertical in his view. He contemplated the imminent confrontation with her and his gut twisted in a knot.

"I'm sorry." He whispered hoarsely into the still night.

The words were dry on his tongue and pitiful in his ears. Somehow they did nothing to justify everything he brought upon her and yet it was all he could think of to say.

He would have to think up a good enough excuse for leaving her.

Again.

He groaned, turning away and burying his head in the bedding, opting to look at the motionless and problem-less wall.

His mind tried to block out the matter, but he couldn't get the guilty feeling out of his stomach.

Maybe she would forgive him.

Her soft smile and tilted head flashed in his mind and he felt a bit lighter. He was also surprised to find himself smiling along with her memory.

Instantly frowning his mind buzzed.

'_Take this time in Ba Sing Se to let go…' _

He sighed and realized that his Uncle had been unsurprisingly right. The time he had spent in Earth Kingdom capitol, while degrading and frustrating, was content. He had screamed and yelled and fought but he had also smiled and laughed. And even on a small scale, that was something he hadn't done in a long, long time.

In a time that wasn't even his anymore.

Maybe… Maybe they could start a new home here. They were already fugitives in their home Nation… refugees. They could have a clean slate just like everyone else. He could stay in the city and forget about the Avatar, Azula, the war and his father. He could put it behind him, ignore it and drop all his responsibilities.

He shoulders began to melt at the thought.

He would no longer be a Prince, but just a scorned refugee. He supposed he could take in the simple life… and maybe…if she still wanted him, maybe she could help him…

He had freed the Avatar's bison and perhaps in doing so, freed himself from the ties to the whole war. Maybe that one good deed was the beginning to many…

Amber eyes liquefied, glowing softly as they fell closed.

Zuko gave into sleep at the hopeful thought, his body no longer seizing under his fever.

* * *

Sorry for the wait and this extremely boring chapter. It was long and slow and I kept putting it off 'cause I didn't want to write something so uneventful.

But its unfortunately very important and necessary to the story. Hopefully my boredom doesn't show through my writing.

I have the next chapter written, which will be posted quickly, it's a bit more exciting than this one…

Inspired by Maroon 5's Goodnight Goodnight.

And a special shout out to aimee! Thanks for the PM and I'm glad to hear you've been listening to each piece with each chapter. It really does enhance it huh? And yes, Jin will meet the Avatar. :P


	10. X Forgiveness

The muffled groan turned into a yawn and the joyous feeling of stretched limbs tingled down the Prince's arms, making him smirk.

Slowly rising to a sit and a hand to rub his sleep ridden eyes, he began to slip into wakefulness. His head was no longer banging against his skull and his lungs didn't feel shriveled and dry. The heat from his body was normal again, as normal as a Fire bender's heat could be anyway.

He felt better in more ways than one.

Looking about the room he saw a neatly folded blanket against the wall and his door slightly open. A slight smell came from the hall and the faint clatter of someone cooking.

His stomach dropped, but not from hunger. He ignored the worried thoughts and nagging conscious as he stood. He ignored the images of her angry face and her tears. Instead he picked out some loose green robes and readied himself for the day…and confronting his mistakes.

* * *

Jin leaned over the boiling pot, frowning at the white substance Iroh had begun to cook. She had wakened to find the old man rushing out the door to his teashop, asking her to finish up breakfast.

More like meal rounds in a prison.

'_What had he been thinking? You're supposed to mix in the flavor before you set it to heat.'_ She shook her head and moved away to the counter, picking up a knife to chop some bread, contemplating on fixing the spoiled gruel.

'_I suppose I could brew some vegetables and cheese, maybe that will cover the fla—'_

A throat cleared softly and she snapped her head up, green eyes linking with amber before the molten gaze darted to the floor. "G-good morning." He grumbled.

She drank in the sight of him, his form lean in the dark green robes, his chest rising and falling evenly, what she could see of his ashamed face looked healthy and he wasn't sweating with fever. His hair had grown since she had first seen him and she appreciated the way it brushed the top of his eyebrows.

Despite herself and all he had done to her, she smiled. He was awake, healthy, and here. "Morning."

He took an uneasy step towards here and as she expected the thick fog of uneasiness settled tensely between them. Those intense eyes darted to hers, showing his quiet guilt before looking at the floor once more. The act reminded her of an abused dog and her eyes saddened… she had expected him to wake with anger at seeing her. She had been readying herself for protesting, for fighting to tell him that she needed him…

"I-I um…" He looked at his feet in frustration, wondering how in the world he was supposed to justify everything. He caught sight of the cooking pot his mouth babbled, "What are you making?"

He was stalling, she knew, but being surprised that he was even trying to apologize made her play along. "It's jook."

She watched in awe as he pasted on a smile, leaning over to take a whiff. "It smells delicious."

She smiled teasingly, "You're a liar."

His eyes widened and his head snapped to her, throat feeling heavy before he caught the smirk on her face. 'She's just joking about the food, not about…'

The smile faded and she stood there watching him, looking beautifully sad as she waited for his apology. His brows drew together and his fingers slowly clenched into fists.

He wanted to scream at the tension between them or at least at her, ask her why she was still here—why she even cared. He wanted to blame it on her and demand that she never see him again…but that was the easy way out and he was starting over.

He took a step closer to her, making the gap as small as an arm's length between them and cornering her against the counter and him…hopefully to stop her from rejecting him…from leaving. "Jin…I-I-"

"You don't have to apologize to me." She interrupted and internally he swallowed in relief. He watched as she continued, those emerald eyes looking distantly to the side. "If you really don't want me here, it's okay to say so."

His eyebrows rose and he began to protest, but she wasn't looking at him.

"I give you my word that I won't tell anyone about you…and I promise you won't ever see me—"

Zuko closed the gap with one step, taking her face in his hand and rushing his lips to her mouth. Their teeth knocked as he pushed against her in a tremble. She gasped and he took the chance to slide his tongue to taste her. Closing his eyes he ignored her soft push against him. She was cool and—Agni she was always so sweet, addicting. He felt her arms go limp, giving up as she tried to keep up with him. He brought his arms around her soft frame, pulling her into him, pressing down on her as his lips ravaged hers.

He could.

He could forget everything about destiny right here.

The Prince pulled away harshly, but kept her in his arms as he watched fluttering green eyes and heated cheeks. He breathed hard, his heart banging in his chest as his fingers held her tightly.

He inhaled before asking.

"Do you still love me?"

Jin blinked dazedly into the intense as warmth spread through her body and her lips burned. "Wh-what?"

"Do you still love me?"

Her eyes watched those lips move and that voice sent tingles down her spine. Her mind raced to keep up with her heart.

"Jin please—" He begged and she could feel him shake even as she watched those fire eyes pierce hers in desperation. "Please, do you still—"

"Yes." She whispered, her fingers twisting against his robe as his face began to blur in her vision. "Yes, yes—"Jin choked as the tears began to flow, her body trembling lightly. She felt his finger s quickly wipe her cheeks as he pulled her forward, holding her close as he rested his forehead on her shoulder. She buried her head in his clothes, crying as she inhaled the musky sweet scent of ash.

* * *

The place was alive and busy.

The décor was pure Iroh with its simplistic yet beautiful interior. The green walls melted into gold borders, homely with the addition of dark wooden tables each dotted with white adorning flowers. It smelled of tea and was warm with laughter and lively chatter as customers filled in.

Zuko walked away from his happily smiling Uncle and a smirk as well.

Congratulations indeed. The place had only opened yesterday and they were already booked for the week.

Things were going smoothly since his run in with the Sky Bison and even that day seemed far away after his three day sickness.

But something must have happened, because he felt unbelievably lighter.

He set the tea tray on the back counter, side stepping the cloth doorway to see the back of a busy chef, humming lightly as their hands scrambled cross the counter.

"They're all asking for the strawberry-peach pie."

She turned and smiled, her flour powdered face making his eyes warm. "It's coming, it's coming."

He raised an eyebrow and walked closer, leaning forward. Her smile faded into a blush, her eyes flickering to his lips expectantly as she caught those amber eyes. He allowed himself the proximity of breathing in her scent, brushing his lips ever so slightly on hers.

Jin's eyes began to flutter shut when suddenly she caught that slight smirk and he reached passed her, snatching a fruit to eat and dodging away from her.

Her eyes set in a glare. "You dirty little Prince of no good Firebend—"

His laugh stopped her, warm and low, spreading in the room and filling her with a cozy heat, like a 

friendly campfire. She smiled as well, watching as his laugh died to the casual smirk although his eyes danced in mirth. The sight was rare and wonderful, making her happy in ways she couldn't describe.

Zuko watched as Jin's smile turned into that familiar mischievous tease and he knew he would pay for his childish prank.

"I have half a mind to go out there and find a nice Ba Sing Se boy instead of a troublesome Prince."

He frowned and gave her a scolding look, brushing past her to continue the pastry work she had left.

She smiled, "What?" Moving closer she leaned forward to see his stern expression. "Are you… jealous?"

"No." The reply was too quick.

"I wasn't even serious."

"I'm not jealous." He stated, closing his eyes as if denying the fact.

She laughed off his rejection, "Sure—sure." Her form settling next to his as she began to help, her face warm and a smile lighting her expression.

Zuko looked at her profile from the corner of his eyes, letting the vision make him smile quietly and relish in the feeling of something new and wonderful… it helped to push the demons to the back of his thoughts.

Perhaps this city was not so bad after all…

* * *

The lemur chattered, diving through the sky to follow the sweet scent of food.

Looping about to trace a path to the promising building it swayed, dodging around towards the ground. The large eyes picked out a familiar shape, sniffing the air for the scent of snow and speeding down the street.

The wind picked up and the animal slowed just in time to latch onto the figure's head, twisting about to look into another pair of eyes.

Katara laughed, raising her hands to pull Momo off her hair and into her arms. His head twisted and green eyes blinked up at her wonderingly before gazing off to a crowded looking restaurant.

The scent of pies caught the Waterbender's senses and tickled her mouth.

"Ah, that smells good." She smiled, letting the delightful smell seep into her happy exterior.

The day was going smoothly and everything was finally falling into place. Aang was off learning from a Guru to control his Avatar State and this time, the right way. She had stayed to help plan the invasion with the Earth King and his officials, which would at last give the Kingdom an upper hand against the Fire 

Nation. Her brother was with her father—her father! The thought made her want to smile. Toph was also at her own family reunion, working things out with her mother.

Even Suki and the Kyoshi Warriors were here!

Pie beckoned again and Momo screeched. "What do you say then Momo? We deserve a break right?"

The lemur clicked a purr in approval.

Heading across the white streets to the bustling teashop, Katara pushed passed a few people to step inside. The cozy feeling of happy people and warm food made her close her eyes and inhale, relaxing completely.

"Uncle, could you tell Jin to heat up some more water?"

Her eyes snapped open and latched onto the tall and lean form of the Fire Prince, his back facing her as he crossed the room, blending in a like a snake with his green clothing while his voice rasped with embers.

Her gasp was cut shut as she whipped around and let her instincts carry her away, running at top speed across the courtyard and ripping down the street.

Momo gave a screech, flying after her as she made her way through the city square.

Her feet slid as she pivoted a turn into an alleyway, slowly coming to a halt and grabbing the wall as she panted heavily. Her mind still running despite her heaving body.

How could she have forgotten?

She closed her eyes tightly as her lungs squeezed painfully.

Zuko was still in the city…

"_Zuko doesn't even know we're here…" _

Her brother's voice rang in her head and she sighed, leaning her back on the wall. While Sokka may be right, she knew that as soon as the Prince heard the word Avatar he would be back on their trail like fire on gas. He could potentially ruin their plans for the invasion.

"_You're the boy I've fallen in love with…"_

Katara shoved the memories of that girl from her mind. She didn't even know who that had been and her first priority was to her friends. No, she had to tell the Earth King and have Zuko arrested. With the Dai Li and the Imperial guards he would be outnumbered and wouldn't last. Plus, they had surprise on their side.

Blue eyes turned icy in their determination as Katara took a few deep breaths, feeling Momo land on her shoulder as she made her way hurriedly to the palace.

* * *

Jin watched him from across the room, his form never leaving her gaze as he tended to the early mornings customers, back for more even after four days of opening.

It had been three whole days since he recovered from his sickness and almost a month from their first date. She frowned at his smile and his polite nod, looking strange with his back straight as a soldier's should be.

He turned and she quickly ducked behind the curtain.

"Sneaky bandits always get caught."

The braided girl jumped at the voice, whipping around to see a wide grinning General. She instantly smiled. "I'm no bandit," She commented as she turned from her post, opening a cabinet to pull out a tea set.

"Maybe not… but why the sneakiness?" Iroh chuckled, continuing, "Or are you just stealing lovesick glances with my nephew?"

She laughed off the idea, "Zuko is not the lovesick glancing type."

Iroh stroked his beard thoughtfully. "Maybe he wasn't before, but he might be now."

She looked over her shoulder at him and he caught her confused and curious eyes. "Then you've noticed too?"

--

He balanced the tray of clean cups and plates carefully from the back washroom towards the kitchen, eyeing the porcelain as if daring it to test his reflexes.

He was about to maneuver through the long entry curtain when a familiar teasing laugh rang out his name. "Zuko is not the lovesick glancing type."

He paused, stilling his hands as the sentence flew through his ears. His conscious quietly nagged not to eavesdrop, but his feet didn't move.

"Maybe he wasn't before, but he might be now."

He blinked, brows drawing as he began to analyze that when Jin spoke again.

"Then you've noticed too?"

"Hmm?"

"Zuko…he's…" He held his breath at her forlorn tone. "…changed."

His eyes creased.

"Do you think it's a good change or a bad change?" His Uncle asked as if reading his mind. His fingers tightened around the tray as he waited for her soft voice.

"Yes…no…I'm not sure." He heard her sigh. "I'm glad to see him like this…I mean he looks so happy…"

"But?"

He swallowed.

"But it feels distant, like he's putting on a mask… no… more like he's ignoring something."

His heart thudded as she hit the spot, feeling his façade slipping as she spoke. His Uncle gave a muffled sound and he could imagine him scratching his head.

There was a nervous laugh. "It could just be me; I'm just not used to see him so lively."

"Hmm…no, but neither have I."

"I…I don't know what happened to him in his past but…I think maybe…" She trailed off, as if afraid to touch upon the subject.

"You're right, something is bothering him, and maybe instead of confronting things… " His Uncle trailed off in a hum and it was silent for a few minutes. Zuko felt unsteady on his feet.

"I'm sorry, this is not my business."

"Don't be silly!" His Uncle's voice rang out, full of new cheerfulness. "A woman should know the business of her man!"

Her laugh rang out and he shifted on his feet, begging his mind to shove it away, to bring back that warm content. He did so easily, inhaling and pushing aside the curtain, "Uncle—"

They looked toward him and he was met with Iroh's big grin and Jin's small smile, her cheeks a light shade of rose. He swallowed; turning from her to glare at his Uncle's winking expression. "There are some important customers looking for the manager.

"Oh?" The man perked, brushing past his nephew to meet the newcomers.

Zuko watched him go and felt his hands lighten as Jin took the tray from his hands to place on the counter. He watched her petite form, his mind bringing up the memory of her weight in his arms under the rain, and her head on his chest before the fire, her wet hair and cool skin on his.

"Jin."

She looked up curiously.

"There's some things I need to—"

"Great News!" Iroh's voice shouted as he stumbled back into the room, his hand clutching a scroll. "Our service has been requested for His Majesties lunch tomorrow!"

* * *

MWHAHAHHAHHA! AZULA IS COMING!! BEWARE!!

-flickering lights and eerie music-

Anyway, this chapter was also boring for me. Tried to spice it up a bit, but mostly kept to short and sweet. To be honest I've been waiting at the edge of my seat to write Crossroads of Destiny cause I know exactly what I'm gonna do with it.

AND ITS EEEEEVIL.

See ya soon!


	11. XI Rising

"Thank you so much for the chocolate swirl cake and the fish cookies, Jin." Iroh grinned, his teeth shining under the midday sun of the Earth Kingdom's capitol as the small trio stood outside the palace gates. "I am sure the Earth King and his pet Bear will enjoy them."

Zuko shifted, fingering the tea and pastry basket in curiosity, looking to his uncle. "You sure you don't mean Platypus-Bear?"

"No and for the last time, it's just Bear." Iroh replied and the Prince shook his head, looking at Jin quizzically. She giggled and gave a shrug, before smiling on the older man, "You welcome Iroh. And I'm sure he will also enjoy your sweet Sakura tea. It was a perfect pick."

He nodded gratefully before smirking. "Please Jin, call me Uncle." He commented and nudged Zuko in the ribs with his elbow with a cheeky grin, "She's bound to soon anyway, right nephew??"

The Prince's face flushed hot and he protested, raising his hands and scolding through his teeth, "What are you—"

Jin blushed and nervously objected, but the General's laugh outgrew both teenagers' voices. He clapped a hand on Zuko's shoulder heartily. "We should get going, won't want to keep royalty waiting." Tossing a double meaning before turning away to wave over his shoulder, Iroh started off. "We'll see you back at the shop in a few hours!"

She smiled and waved before looking at the quiet boy. He gave her an apologetic look before stepping forward. "Jin—"

She shook her head with a smile, looking into those troubled eyes. "Have a good time and I'll see you soon, okay?"

He nodded, his somber expression warming at her accepting smile. They shared a look without words and as he turned halfway, his last glance almost seemed in slow motion. She suddenly felt ill in the pit of her stomach and her mind tingled. She blinked a few times as he began to turn and catch up with his Uncle. _'That's weird… this…feels like goodbye…'_

"Aren't you coming lover boy?" She heard Iroh call and she chuckled quietly as the man's voice slowly faded with a speech about visions and destiny.

Jin shivered as she watched them disappear into the large courtyard and tried to shake of the ominous feeling around her. Really she was just being silly. She would see them both in a few hours, talking of their lunch around a cozy table. And then perhaps she and Zuko could finally sit down with a talk of their own…

Turning away from the entrance and towards the main street, a sudden whoosh of people walked past her, the force of it making her cringe. They blurred in motion, colors of dark swamp green racing in lines on either side of her, their cloaks brushing against her and narrowing her vision.

Dai Li.

She watched in unease as the long lines marched into the palace behind her, their numbers incredible. Her gut twisted and suddenly her mind buzzed as she tried to catch a glimpse of the faces beneath their shielding hats.

'_What was a league of Dai Li doing in the courtyard of the Palace? They're not allowed to pass the royal gate--'_

Her heart thudded in her chest. "It's a trap…" She murmured beneath her breath, tiny voice full of horror.

_Zuko._

Her eyes widened at the realization and she pivoted on her foot to the entrance, her bad ankle twisting like an awful memory to thud through her body painfully. Her eyes tried to focus at the fast turn, tried to spot the Firebenders—

But instead of seeing the grand courtyard behind the lines of Dai Li, she came face to face with a tall black haired girl with a grim expression, her arms crossed and stance rigid between the marching agents.

Cold black eyes glared daggers at her.

"Hi." She said, her monotone voice piercing Jin's mind as a threat. Slowly, Jin noticed another girl behind her, her brown hair bouncing as she waved happily behind her tall companion. The image was so completely surprising and uneasy that Jin's eyes flickered between the two like prey assessing their predator. She tried to calm down, asking them what they needed…

"What—"

The smiling girl ducked low, dodging around the stern teenager to lunge forward. Jin had barely enough time to step backwards onto her bad food on instinct, her cry cutting out when two fingers jabbed her forehead harshly.

She stumbled backwards, her eyes blinking desperately as tunnel vision began to set in. Her head screamed pain for only seconds when suddenly it was numb. She tried to focus on the image of the two girls, but things were fading quickly… her body felt heavy, her feet swayed…

"Goodnight!" A voice called cheerfully as the black began to set in.

And then—

Nothing.

* * *

Mae watched lazily as the Dai Li agents carried off the Water tribe pest and the fellow Earthbender, along with the pitiful King.

The whole situation was sad.

Not only had the Earth Kingdom capitol been completely surrendered to only three Fire Nation girls, but it also had been terribly easy.

She sighed as the normal mental list of other things she could be doing drew up in her mind.

"Well at least the pretty green-aura girl will have some company!" Ty Lee commented, her face alit like their prisoners were all her very close friends.

But the words grated on Mae's nerves. She didn't exactly know why, but that damn teashop wench really pissed her off.

"Wonder how she knew Zuko anyway…" Ty Lee blinked her curious face reminded Mae why so much anger spurted from the mention of the girl.

Not that she was jealous; the girl was just pointless and time consuming was all. "Why did we have to waste time on her, Azula?" She asked, voicing her opinion in a more subtle way as she looked up at the pedestal led throne, its gold makings draped in green and jade.

The black haired girl looked over her shoulder from her leaning position on the throne, eyeing Mae with a raised eyebrow, a golden eye gleaming.

Mae instantly regretted speaking, but didn't allow her face to show it as she blinked slowly, awaiting a response.

Azula turned away, a perfect pedicure hand brushing away a lock of hair before explaining. "You're right; it probably was a waste of time."

Mae said nothing, still watching the young girl for her more than likely longer and vicious explanation. Ty Lee blinked between the two.

"But she was seen working at the teashop by the agents and even if she slightly knew who my brother and Uncle were, then she could possibly ruin their cover and therefore ours." The girl turned to face her companions, a smirk on her face. "Besides, we wouldn't want her stirring up trouble once she finds out that her tea maker and waiter won't be returning."

Ty Lee bounced on her heels. "You're so smart Azula! But… what will we do with her afterwards?"

The smirk turned to a thin line and amber eyes became as sharp as knives. Her voice rang out like steel, "Well, we can't have her back on the streets."

If she had been raised properly Mae would have shivered, but instead she directed her gaze to the floor.

"Hey… can't you use her against Zuko?"

Dark irises dilated on the floor at Ty Lee's suggestion, but the owner didn't move her head as she listened intently on Azula's response.

"Hmmm I thought about it, but I think a simple visit will turn him over… besides, I don't think she knows anything. Worthless piece of Earth trash…"

The girl's voice trailed off and Mae could sense Ty Lee cart wheeling near her side.

That was the end of conversation then. At least until Long Feng eventually showed up to 'reclaim' his position.

Her gloved hands shifted deftly and her eyes flickered across the floor, her mind nonchalantly quiet.

Always quiet.

Even when her heartbeat raced painfully in her chest.

* * *

Sokka glared straight through the Dai Li's back as the guided them through the Palace to towards the cells.

His mind calculated the location of the King's throne and also kept an eye on the way the rest of the Agents were heading, seemingly towards the lower crystal caves.

But that didn't stop him from burning holes into the one who had cuffed him.

He was really starting to hate this city.

"Man I hate this city!" Toph complained, marching behind him with a huff.

She gave a shout and her head smacked into his back in what he assumed was the guard's punishment for speaking. The girl gave a grunt but promptly kept her mouth shut.

They walked for a few more minutes, down some stairs and Earthbended into a hallway of metal bars marking each cell.

They walked towards the end, most likely to the one with the large steel door for special prisoners. He frowned, glaring at the idea when the boy heard a soft clang in the cell ahead.

Walking closer he peeked in and curious green eyes met shocked blue, his mind taking in the sight of her familiar ponytail hair and jade robes… that face… it was her—

"What are you doing he—"

"No talking." The shrouded form spoke and grabbed his shoulder, dragging him forward only to thrust him sideways into the tiny room. He stumbled but was able to catch himself and raise a fist at the agent.

Toph shook her head, looking peeved as she followed suit, the King skidding in at her feet.

The agent's smirk disappeared with a loud slam of metal on metal and Sokka waited for the telltale sounds of Earthbending before shouting in exasperation. "UGH! I hate those guys!"

"I can't believe they took Bosco!" The Earth King exclaimed in disbelief, his hands clutching his elegant hat. Sokka raised a brow before looking at Toph.

"We need to get out of here and find Aang and Katara before Azula does."

The blind girl smiled knowingly to herself as Sokka continued. "Maybe if we find something to pry the hinges off these doors—like a pipe or—"

"Or maybe we can use the imaginary pipe to smack you over the head for a better idea." She stated sarcastically and Sokka frowned at her with a 'you-gotta-better-idea' look despite the fact that the girl was oblivious to his expression.

There was a soft muffle and Toph's eyes narrowed, glaring to the wall and a foot stomping down, as if to Earthbend. "Who's giggling over there!?"

It went deadly quiet and just as Sokka remembered, a small voice echoed through the cells. "S-sorry, it's just a fellow prisoner."

The Water tribe boy kept his mouth shut from asking anything as he tried to keep secret that he recognized her. He had an idea it was something to do with Zuko. Toph obliviously asked anyway. "What did the cone-heads get you for?"

Another giggle this time, but it died sadly to a concerned tone, "I found out they set a trap for…a friend of mine." There was a slight pause. "They got me before I could warn him."

The Earth King frowned, "It seems they got everyone without warning."

"The coup's already finished." Sokka stated, pushing the person in the second cell from his mind and taking the tone of leader. "Now we just need to get out of here before the Fire Nation marks off the Kingdom as theirs."

The small Earthbender brushed passed him, cracking her fingers and facing the steel door. "See any Dai Li agents nearby?"

Sokka peeked over her shoulder, looking down the hall. "Nope, all clear. Why—"

She pivoted her foot, her hands striking out from a relaxed position to clutch the door. Her blind eyes focused on nothing as her fingers could feel the metal give beneath her. A telltale smirk graced her face as she molded the material to her liking. The former door screeched loudly in protest before it shot out with a band against the wall and heavily clattered to the floor.

"How did you—"

"No time boomerang boy—let's go!" She gave with a laugh and started off down the hall, Sokka in toe with her.

"I'm not leaving without Bosco!" The King shouted, heading after them.

"Wait!"

The desperate cry stopped the trio in their tracks and Sokka looked back to see the Earth Kingdom girl reaching out between the bars of her cell towards them. Her face was creased in helplessness and at that look he already knew her plea. "You have to help me."

The boy shifted, trying not to let her get to him…_ 'It really is a waste of time…'_

"Please, they'll kill him."

He looked toward the ground, seriously doubting the fact. And even if it were true, they were better off without the hotheaded jerk. It was one less problem they had to deal with in this war.

"Please I-…I love him."

Sokka's eyes snapped to hers and he gave an exasperated sigh.

Of course she did. "Toph—"

"Yeah, yeah, true love and all that hoo-ha." She cut him off and walked forward, grabbing a fistful of bar. "Stand back Giggles."

The green eyed girl gave an appreciated smile the Earthbender couldn't see and stepped away. A second passed before and metal turned to clay, molding against the opposite wall. Toph's grin and victory phrase was drowned out by the loud creaking of the sad metal frame.

"Now let's go, they probably heard that." Sokka said, eyeing the new comer one more time before leading the way out of the prison.

* * *

Her heartbeat made her mind numb. Her fingers were wet, but she couldn't feel them. Her hair was knotted and tangled, her limbs ached and she had a bad bruise on the top of her head.

But there only thing she felt in her trembling form and that was the dead weight in her arms.

Aang.

Katara was shaking terribly, her lip quivering as she stared down at his closed eyes and torn clothes. His face was soft and relaxed… and so pale. _'Oh please no…'_

Everything was silent and time passed slowly as she began to look up.

The shrouded forms of the Dai Li blurred in her teary vision, making them appear like dark engulfing shadows. Her blue eyes flickered wearily over them before attaching to the strong and powerful form of the Fire Princess, her smile wide and full of proud malice.

The golden eyes looked down at her in knowing, an eyebrow sweeping upward as she walked towards her. She trembled under that gaze, that mocking gaze. Because she knew what she had done and as much as Katara's numb body tried to deny it, she knew it too.

She clutched the boy close to her chest, shifting backwards into the crystals and the waterfall. Her eyes moved frantically like a cornered mouse, looking for an escape…or for mercy.

She caught the gaze of the Prince, his eyes cold and unfeeling. His face was grim and while his shoulders were squared, the air around him was still. She hated him, was so angry when she looked upon him, but the most she could draw up now was a muffled cry as she moved backwards once more, staring unseeingly forward as they all advanced.

Her mouth was dry even when she leaked her element from her eyes and heart.

She wanted to scream.

"STOP!" The desperate cry pierced the cavern, ripping at the silence with pain.

Katara looked hazily for the speaker of her thoughts, her eyes darting to the back of the caves as a figure grew closer. The emerald crystals glimmered across the river and rocks to reflect off a jade and gold dress. The girl was running, limply, towards them. The shadows around her began to move at the sight and suddenly the Dai Li sped off for the intruder.

Katara's eyes widened, remembrance coming with the familiarity of the figure's face, just as the agents began to repress her.

"_You're the boy I've fallen in love with..."_

It was the girl...

* * *

Hurrah! Its here!! So next chapter is gonna be really dramatic. Gonna be awesome.

But you'll need a box of tissues.

It's hella fun to write Toph and creepy to write Mae's POV. I thought Sokka would be funner, but he's in leader mode…so… not so fun. Maybe soon. Katara's easy since she wears everything on her sleeve… but I look forward to the POV's in next chappie!

Review Luff


	12. XII Dieing

Her mind was racing.

'_Who were those kids? What's going on? Who's taking the Earth Kingdom? Where have I heard that name before? Where's Iroh? Did those girls really just let us escape? Are the Dai Li behind me? Is my ankle bleeding? Am I going the right way? Is he really down here?'_

Her heart was an angry banging in her chest, her lungs squeezing painfully with exertion. She was thinking of everything and yet her body pushed harder as she focused on only one;

Zuko.

Jin's eyes blinked as the wind from the river soon hit her face, her feet slowing as the caves opened up to a wide and beautiful catacomb of emerald crystals, dancing with colors of the waterfall.

But the image was scarred with shattered pieces of the beautiful rock and fallen stones. Water was almost flooding the chamber, already soaking the hems of her dress. There were broken grounds and craters… and the whole mess was just a backdrop to the shrouded forms of the Dai Li.

They had their backs turned to her, their battle ready forms circled around something she couldn't see. But one figure stood out with the proud stance of a leader, their shoulders strong and their gait confident as they advanced. Another walked with them, one with less confidence and power, on that was familiar….

He eyes latched onto him, her feet moving without her command.

As she began to gain speed her eyes flickered to the targeted prey of the crowd.

Blue eyes melted into tears, streaming down her young and pretty cheeks. Her face was framed by long and tangled brown hair and she was sobbing tensely, clutching a figure of a boy close to her chest. His limp form blocked by the form of the Dai Li surrounding them.

The woman leading them stepped aside, her stance turning lazy and Jin caught sight of the boy…

…a pale, robed and nomad-tattooed boy, looking very, very still.

Green eyes turned dark in a shade of horror.

Tattooed… nomad… boy.

'_Have you heard that the Avatar is back?'_

'_Perhaps this university could learn a few things from our new young Avatar.'_

'…_I think he is still of Fire Nation and last I heard of him he was searching for the Avatar to reinstate his position…'_

'…_attacking the innocent for my father…hunting to kill the Avatar for him!' _

Everything fell into its place like a twisted game of Pai Sho and suddenly she couldn't breathe.

She understood, her mind was throbbing with denial but her throat felt dry with the truth. _'That… that was the Avatar—that dead boy was the Avatar and Zuko—_

_Oh Zuko…'_

Her body shook as she stepped closer. She swallowed the knot in her throat and she trembled again…_'He can't, he isn't like that… it's not, he's not….no. Stop Zuko, stop…Stop-STOP—"_

"STOP!" She screamed and she was suddenly running towards him, her hand reaching out at that familiar frame, his familiar back. She ignored the pain shooting through her body from her foot as she ran, needing to beg him--

He turned-- she could see one glimmering amber eye set in a scarred cheek, widening as he caught sight of her.

She reached out, fingertips grazing his sleeve when suddenly black shadows surrounded her senses, a heavy object clutching her feet to stop her movement. The motion accompanied gravity to slam her coldly to the floor, her vision black as her ankle snapped --protesting yells turned into a scream of pain that ripped through her throat.

The cry pierced the tension through the caves and Azula whipped around even as the Dai Li agents began to grab hold of the Earth Kingdom girl.

Zuko stepped backward, his eyes locked on the tiny form on the dirt in front of him. He felt the disbelief paralyze him—his mind numb as he watched her be forced to a kneeling position, tears streaming down her cheeks.

"Jin—"

Reality crashed down around his mind and suddenly everything came into focus.

Where he was, what he was doing…

"Sto-stop!" Her voice interrupted his beginning panic in a fierce whisper, her face looking up as tears rolled down her face. She could feel the water seeping through her knees from the flooded cave and the earth from the agents enclose on her legs. "Please stop, you don't…you don't have to—"

His heart thudded in his chest as those green eyes stabbed his own. _'Why is she here—what is she doing—'_

'_What am I doing?' _He suddenly asked himself, all of his Uncle's pleadings racing to his conscious and now hers—his chest heaved deep breaths as he began to hyperventilate_. 'I did what I had too—this is what I want--My honor, I could have everything I want if I take the avat—'_

"You don't have to do this!" She shouted and his thoughts stopped dead at her angry statement. Her eyes shut tightly as she yelled at him and suddenly she was free from the grips of the Earth.

The sudden release made her stumble and he instinctively caught her, helping her to her feet before she cringed. Looking down he could see the broken and lifeless looking ankle, bleeding from its violent break. He looked back up at her and clutched her shoulders, staring into those frantic emerald irises. "Jin, what are you—"

"You don't have to do this—you're not like this—you were happy—"

His mind felt like splitting at her words and his gut sank because he knew. He knew she was right. He looked away even as her fingers gripped his arms painfully. She was still pleading as he shut his eyes tightly, fighting against his conscious. He looked up to argue with her, when his gaze caught burning gold.

Zuko's body went straight.

He looked rigidly over Jin's shoulder to Azula's lean form, silent and calculating as she stared at them. Her smirk was gone, just a curious gaze and lazy stance, arms crossed.

But he knew what her silence meant.

He could imagine the gears turning, those malicious thoughts already running out plans to destroy anything she wished. His sister was looking at Jin with manipulative hunger and cold interest. The Dai Li stood around her like dogs at her feet, and he knew she had ordered them to release the girl seconds ago.

Just so she could see what happens.

He swallowed, looking back at Jin as she spoke in desperate whispers, pressing herself against his chest. Turning he glanced at the broken Waterbender, crying with the Avatar close to her chest. Her eyes flickered from her pale companion and the desperate Earth Kingdom girl, trying to understand the situation while protecting her dying companion.

He looked once more at Azula, before tearing away to look back at Jin.

She was still so beautiful.

His heart thudded as his fists clenched.

He inhaled.

"Please…please—I love you Zu—"

The sound was as cold as steel, and rang through the caves like metal. Everything seemed to go in agonizing slow motion as a twisted flame shot from the Prince's hand with the blow he delivered.

Katara's sapphire eyes widened in horror as the girl was flung to the floor, her body hitting the ground with a thud.

The fire disappeared into the air just as amber eyes hardened to cold molten, narrowing to slits as the Fire Prince stared down at the scorned girl

Jin stared at the ground in shock; her body numb as pain rushed to her cheek.

She could feel it burning.

She was crying, but all she could feel was the hot burning on her face and on her heart. Confusion set in, her dazed and pained body trying to comprehend that last second.

Looking up slowly she tried to see where the pain had come from, tried to see who had smacked her—but all she could find was a vicious slanted gold, showing nothing but a hate that made her stare in utter fright. She trembled, her shoulders weak as that loving gaze was replaced with absolute disgust.

"Don't touch me."

She shivered, her body cringing like an abused animal as her green eyes searched his empty yellow.

Azula stared at her brother's fierce stance with barely contained delight and surpise. She had nearly thought that this girl would be some little rat to turn him soft once more, but now…

The Princess' laugh vibrated in the bones of everyone in the cavern. "And who is this little whore, Zuzu?"

Zuko said nothing as she sauntered forward, his body rigid. The cold Firebender looked completely amused as she turned her gaze from her brother to the confused and discarded peasant. She grinned when her mind drew two and two together. "Oh wait—you didn't know, did you?"

Azula leaned forward to soak in the fear in the girl's expression.

Jin was hypnotized by those cruel eyes. The same eyes as the little girl in the painting…but now from a sadistic woman. She stared at her confusedly, her mind numb from the burning sensation ripping apart her soul.

"Haven't you met my brother? The Fire Prince?"

She swallowed as the tears fell, and sorrowed jade ripped away from cruel honey to sob into the floor. Azula was wrong, but her mocking only made reality crash that much faster.

"Silly little girl of Ba Sing Se…" A grip latched onto her chin and forced her to look back into those cold eyes as her nails dug into her skin. "What would a prince want with a peasant?"

Jin looked past her, trying to catch Zuko's gaze, trying to understand… but he was rigid, staring at the ground with fury, breathing hard.  
"Look how funny Zuzu, she looks so heartbroken!" The brutal voice called, ending in a hysterical laugh even as she turned back to Jin. "Did he tell you he loved you?"

"Azula." He demanded and she looked at him slowly with a raised brow, as if to challenge him to defy her.

"We're wasting our time." He said simply and directed his gaze toward the Waterbender and the avatar.

The fire princess sighed, rolling her eyes as she stood and left Jin lying on the cold, wet ground. "Oh, I suppose your right." She brushed her hair from her face, sauntering past her brother to the pitiful looking Waterbender.

Katara moved her gaze from the discarded Jin to the looming Azula and she hugged Aang towards her.

"Now where were we—"

Glorious hot flames slammed into the Earth between the Princess and the Avatar, making the girl step back in surprise and look up to see the Dragon of the West heading towards them.

Iroh landed nimbly, instantly exhaling and releasing fire onto the Dai Li agents to his right. The circle of predators retracted as Azula glared at him with spite.

He pushed them back with another blast, being careful of the limp form near his feet, sobbing quietly. He looked over his shoulder towards Katara. "You need to get out of here! I'll hold them off as long as I can!" He shouted and turned his direction back on the advancing Dai Li, coming forward to stand in front of the small Earth Kingdom girl.

The water at his feet pushed outwards before growing in depth and drawing inwards, its waves carrying Jin's limp body towards the currents of the waterfall.

He could hear the rush of the cascade grow loud in its roar, his wet shoes miraculously dry.

Iroh exhaled, letting his hands drop just as they were clamped shut with piercing crystal. The Dai Li surrounding him as his niece stormed away.

"Stupid old man-- either way, the Avatar is dead." Azula stated angrily, her final tone sending shivers down everyone's spine.

The old General caught the Fire Prince staring at him, amber eyes swirling with a million emotions…

…only to be shrouded in hate.

Iroh looked away painfully.

* * *

Whoa I've been waiting forever to write that! Scary as it is, that was fun.

No-no its not done, obviously. And yes, obviously I'm going into book three.

So, lol, now we can all hate Zuko even more than we did before!

Phew, so I'll see you guys next time and remember—reviews are fuel for the authors' soul.

But not our stomachs. Buy me some ice cream dammit!


	13. XIII Numb

Katara could feel the bags under her eyes.

She tried rubbing them, her vision bleary as she did so, but to no avail. Her body felt equally as weak and she felt like she could sleep for days.

Yawning and shutting the heavy iron door from her room, she trudged down the metal hallway of their stolen Fire Nation Ship. It had been only three days since their escape from the Earth Kingdom capitol and in that time they had already met up with their father, acquired transportation and parted with the former King.

And she had already begun healing Aang.

'_More like bringing back to life…'_ She thought woefully, knowing every inch of his torn body from the inside and out. Her healing sessions were doing wonders and despite his state, she had a small inkling of hope.

The hallway came to an end and she slowly climbed the stairs and opened the heavy door to the deck.

The smell of the ocean assaulted her like a loving friend and the glimmering moon rushed through her senses like water in river. She knew the feeling well and let it glide through her mind and wash away her worry as well as cure some exhaustion. The healing was taking a lot out of her—she was giving so much of herself into the boy and she still pushed. And while she was tired, her worry was enough to keep her awake.

It was late now and everyone was most likely asleep, except her Father, who was probably manning their direction even now.

But she didn't feel like speaking to him at the moment.

Ignoring that issue she walked to the edge of the boat, looking out to the racing water below, the steel ripping through it like butter.

She contemplated looking for Sokka, but guessed that he was asleep as well or at least next to her Dad, reviewing Fire Nation maps.

And Toph would be out like a light, not that the Earthbender would like to speak. She was still suffering from a bad case of sea sickness.

There was a soft shuffling sound and Katara looked down the length of the boat to see a figure leaning out on the other side of the deck.

The green dress was pale under the moonlight.

Katara frowned.

After the fall of Ba Sing Se, they had escaped on Appa, Katara frantically trying to heal Aang as she explained what had happened to Aang. She avoided everything having to do with the newcomer despite Sokka's questions and the girl herself had been deadly silent. It wasn't until they had met up with their father, that Katara had finally approached her.

_Ice blue eyes looked sad as they headed towards the lone girl at the edge of the water, staring at the sand. She was quiet as she came to stand next to her and wasn't surprised to see tears running down the girl's cheeks._

_She remembered her own yells in the crystal cave and the Fire Prince's brief show of emotion, his vague speech on his mother and that oh so human look on his face. All lies._

_She never hated someone so much as she did now. _

"_Hey…" She began, but the girl didn't look at her. "I-I'm sorry… for what happened to you…" She struggled, her hands wringing. "If there's anywhere we can take you… we can take you home on Appa."_

_The girl looked at her sadly, olive eyes warming as if to smile a thank you, but the smile never came. "I don't have anything to go back to."_

"_Your parents—"I'm a refugee."_

_The title said it all and Katara looked away, shifting her stance. The silence was thick and awkward and Katara frowned in frustration at the memory of the Fire Prince's stern face._

_She really hated him. _

"_It's settled then, you'll come with us." _

_They both turned to look surprisingly at Sokka, his face set in determination despite the slight smile on his face. The girl just looked at him confused._

_He walked forward and put a hand on her shoulder, ignoring her flinch. "What's your name again?"_

_She blinked before choking out, "Jin. My name is Jin."_

"_Well then, welcome to team Avatar Jin." He said and gave a big smile. Katara felt her mouth turn a bit at her brother's warm hospitality. _

_Jin didn't reply._

Katara sighed. She still hadn't told anyone about what had happened to the girl and no one dared to approach the subject with Jin herself. Whatever it was, it wasn't good. She had wanted to tell Sokka all about the despicable Prince, but after she had seen them with her brother that day in the upper ring—and now this… it just didn't seem like her place to speak.

Jin had kept to herself since she was welcomed, only coming out to eat and even then all they got from her were nods and whispered, "thank you's." She had spent some time in the girl's room healing her ankle and the angry burn marks on her face. Both of which had healed properly and neither had left a scar… but from the silence of the girl during the visits it was obvious that there was a larger scar that she couldn't mend.

Setting her shoulders, the Waterbender slowly made her way across the deck, her steps causing those green eyes to look up.

Katara's eyebrows rose in surprise to find the girl crying. "Oh-s-sorry—"

Jin turned away, quickly wiping her face on a sleeve and shaking her head. "It's alright—it's nothing."

She bit her lip and continued closer, standing next to her. "Are you alright?"

Jin looked sideways at her before looking back at the water and Katara laughed nervously. "Sorry, stupid question."

There was a long pause between them and Katara was content to just be in someone else's company despite the many questions she had and all the worries the recent events had given her. It was oddly relieving to know that someone else was hurting.

"It…it still doesn't feel real."

The Waterbender looked sideways at the quiet voice, watching as brown wisps traced a sad face.

"I knew who he was. I knew and yet… did I really?" She asked, frowning. "I knew he was the Prince of that wretched nation and I thought that with all my heart I knew who he was beneath that title…"

They both stared at the moon's reflection on the water as Jin finished.

"Obviously I was wrong."

Katara wanted to tell her that it wasn't her fault, that it was just typical evil Zuko. That he had been angry and cold like that since he raided their village in the South Pole.

But she had fallen for the lies in the prison caves that same day.

They were silent for a long time and as much as she wanted to reassure Jin, Katara couldn't bring herself to say 'He'll come around.' Or 'I'm sure he didn't mean it.' So she stayed quiet, simply offering companionship and an ear if the girl needed it.

Jin suddenly turned to her, a very slight smile appearing on her lips. "I want to thank you, for letting me come with you."

Katara nodded. "It's the least we can do."

"I know but… I'm no fighter and I can only just get in the way—"

"Really it's not a problem. And we understand more than anyone about…" She shrugged, giving a smile. "Well, about not having anywhere else to go,"

Jin nodded and looked at the floor before looking back at Katara. "Then, if you don't mind… can you keep what happened… a secret?"

Katara's brow creased. "A secret… " She remembered that horrid scene, Jin's twisted body and quiet sobs as Azula openly mocked her. Zuko ignoring the pitiful girl completely after smacking her to the ground with fire—"But why? What he did… aren't you angry? Don't you hate—"

"I love him." She gave in a heavy breath; her shoulder's trembling at the statement and Katara's eyes widened. Jin averted her gaze, a blush forming on her cheeks in embarrassment and shame. "…loved him. It's hard to explain…"

"I understand." Katara interrupted, a vision of a smirking Freedom Fighter flooded her mind. Although Zuko was completely different, she told herself and she could all but loathe the Prince for what he had done to her—to Aang, and to what he had done to this girl. She recalled the scene in the Upper Ring… all his rage and spewing lies.

Nothing but loathe…

Still, it was Jin's secret and she would let her keep it in her woeful pain.

But soon she knew that the agonizing hurt would turn to a burning hate.

* * *

"Are you not even going to eat?"

The voice was dripping with disgust and while the question was worded politely, Azula's tone showed no real concern for the subject's well being. In fact, if one could see the cold gears turning in her dark mind they would know that all she held in the statement was a sick curiosity to find a weak spot.

A weak spot to rip open.

Amber eyes flickered to her, their depths heated with an irritated glare. "I'm not hungry."

She rolled her eyes at her brother's reply, directing her gaze to her nails. "You're being so overdramatic Zuzu." She commented and then continued, letting the amusement show in her voice. "If father were to see you in a rut about Uncle when we arrive…"

She glanced up at him as he glared at the meal in front of him, a small smirk on her face that he couldn't see.

"It's nothing. Drop it Azula."

She sighed at his stubbornness but inwardly she was smiling in victory. She picked up her goblet happily, sipping the warm fire cider. "Whatever. I'm only looking out for you, brother."

He gave a muffled grunt and carried on in his silent musings.

They had left Ba Sing Se just yesterday, in the name of their father, '_Much like the former Omashu.' _The Princess thought with a proud smirk. It was only a matter of time before her father's siege stormed the city and made everything official as they…'informed' the citizens of their fallen Capitol.

Everything really was going exactly the way she wanted it to—not that it didn't always- and soon they would arrive to a grand celebration in her honor and her 'brothers' victory.

Oh yes, he was going to get all the glory…

'_He earned it.'_ Glancing over at his sullen face she imagined the pitiful thoughts running through his head about his betrayal to his Uncle.

Really, how the boy had any respect for the old man was beyond her, but then again Zuko was always worthless. The fact that he had fallen for her lies over and over again was proof of that… as well as striving to restore honor beneath their father.

Her father had no honor for a tool.

Azula idly swished the cider in her cup as she contemplated their quick siege of the Capitol and the Avatar's limp body in the Water tribe peasant's hands. She recalled each step with pride, knowing that her brother couldn't accomplish such a siege if his 'honor' depended on it.

A loud scraping of metal on metal furnishings drew her attention to Zuko's abrupt standing, his body turning as he began to leave the meal hallway. "Where are you going?"

"To bed." He called, not bothering to look at her as he stormed out.

She let her smile take her face.

Everything according to plan.

* * *

It was hard to look at anything when all she could see was those cold amber eyes.

And it was hard to sleep when all she could think of was that hot burning on her cheek and the smell of ash on her Fire Nation bed.

She closed her eyes as she inhaled the maroon sheets, the scent bringing sweet memories of his warmth, his rare smile, that frustrated nervousness, those angry yells and passionate statements…

That burning kiss.

Her eyes shut tightly at the memory, the feeling reminding her of a smoldering cheek.

The tears fell.

Ripping away violently from the bed, Jin rushed to the other side of the room to lean heavily on the wall. The small open window let in the cold ocean air and her lungs filled desperately as she tried to escape the memories. But her chest was heaving hard and the sound haunted her with fleeting images of his panting form… his heated body fighting against a fever.

She held in a scream. He had entwined his way around every piece of her, everything she did was a remembrance of him… and until a few days ago, she had wanted that… more than anything…

_His warm embrace, raspy voice whispering apologetically, "I'm not trying to make you hate me—I don't want you to hate me."_

_That kiss, that kiss ablaze with his desperation and longing…_

_Cold biting floor under his looming stance, his face twisted into that of a stranger, "Don't touch me."_

_That slap that had burned right through her face to destroy her heart…_

She shut her eyes tightly, her lips on fire with her cheek.

A yell ripped from her throat with sorrow, her fists slamming down on the metal wall with a numbing thud as her body withered to the floor.

The sobs racked her form, made her bones ache as the pitiful cry shook her throat. She let it all go, remembering each look from those eyes and every word from those lips.

"He wasn't lying—he wasn't…he couldn't…" The pleadings were only tiny whispers as her fingers clutched the ground.

How could he have been lying? He had been so real—even after she had learned he carried a name full of disgrace; he had been so genuinely flawed, so perfect in his…

'_So perfect in his lies.'_ Her mind whispered hatefully.

She yelled again, this time with utter fury. He had played her like fool-- every minute had been nothing but a game.

Her fists clenched as she screamed.

She didn't see the streaks of scorched ash from the wall to her fists clutching the floor as she wept, but the scent burned her heart and left her numb, lulling her to sleep on the floor for the rest of the night.

* * *

The golden sash slipped through his fingers onto the floor and a heavy thud of Fire Nation shoulder pads followed it.

Zuko slipped off his outer robes and then sat heavily on his bed, elbows resting on his knees as he glared at the floor between his feet.

The silence was deafening.

" _You have to know…how happy you make me…"_

He blinked slowly, breathing even.

"_Please nephew, take this time in Ba Sing Se to let go…"_

An exhale escaped his lips in a tremble.

"_You're the boy I've fallen in love with…"_

"_Stop trying to make me hate you!"___

"Please Zuko, I'm begging you-- think about what you really want--"

The amber eyes shut tightly.

_His own voice raspy with fever and his hands clutching her shoulders as he begged, "Please Jin, do you still love--"Her beautiful tears streaming down her cheeks as she gripped his collar, "Yes! Yes…yes."_

The muscles in his jaw tensed.

"_You could have everything you wanted. Your honor, father's love…"_

"_The redemption she offers is not for you!"_

But it was-- it was everything he had been fighting for. The last three years of endless searching and constant anger. His battles and hardships--all to waste if he never regained his honor and his place at his father's side. Only then would things finally fall into place--he could be happy again…

"_You don't have to do this—you're not like this—you were happy—"_

Her voice shot through his mind, drawing her desperate cries and memories of her smiling face, teasing in the candlelight as he chuckled. His uncle's happy smile at breakfast, eating a pie and playing Pai Sho. Jin across the table with a teasing smile and a wink before pouring more tea… he remembered the smell of the sunlight through the windows and their soft chatter…

"_--you were happy--"_

A muffled cry escaped his lips and suddenly he leaned forward, his hands gripping his head harshly, his eyes shut tightly. He exhaled hard-- but instead a yell ripped from his throat, his shoulders burning through the robes as his body heated.

His breathing got heavy and he felt wetness escape his right eye and down his cheek, dropping to the floor silently.

"What have I done?"

* * *

Awwww, poor Zuzu.

Oh well, he deserves it--asshole.

Some good old stranger-friend bonding in next chappie, and some sexy angsty Fire Prince.

EDIT: So it turns out my Microsoft Home Office Trial period ran out on my new laptop. It was the new Office 2007, all shiny and new with its amazing tabs, got really used to it. But le sigh, because all I have left it Word Processor and since i'll be in Japan for another 4 months and no microsoft office is avalaible for me, I'll have to stick with processor. Might have a late update because of the adjust, but the story will still run smoothly --losta cool stuff in store for ya--

Beware of grammatical and spelling errors like no other, due to processor :(

:P


	14. XIV Mourning

"Ugh…"

A body twisted, flopping onto their stomach as a hand reached out from underneath a blanket. The hand gripped the metal of the floor, clutching it as the tired body began to rise.

Eyes opened, looking at nothing with extreme distaste.

Toph stuck out her tongue as her stomach bobbed, the room spinning as her feet adjusted to pick up stable vibrations against the constant lapping of water.

"I hate ships." She grumbled, slowly sitting upright and stretching her feet out in front of her.

She sighed, ignoring the heavy weight in her gut as her toes clenched the floor, picking out the small earthy tingles humming through the metal. Her fingers caressed the floor before a fist formed to knock on it harshly.

The action vibrated the floor, rang through the walls and gave the girl her first view of the day.

She was up relatively early, much to her misfortune. It seemed that only a few of the ship's crew were actually up. Sokka was lively enough, following his father's footsteps down the length of the ship. She could feel the heavy footsteps along the hallways and assumed The Duke was seated on his shoulders. Katara was awake as well, seemingly heading to Aang's chamber, who--big surprise-- was still out like a light.

She was about to stand when her senses caught hold of the fading ring, reaching the far end of the ship towards the kitchen.

The sound hit a dull clang and she grimaced at the screeching sound. "Ow!" She exclaimed, smacking her head to get the tingling sensation out.

"Stupid girl." She muttered, despite her sad frown.

That same dull tone had woken her up several times during the night, coming from the room next to hers. It had been louder then and the vibrations were like the waves on the ship, angry and unstable…making her head spin with shared pains and a massive headache.

'_What happened to you Giggles?' _The small bandit wondered. The poor girl's tremors had shown Toph the saddest pictures, her angry slams and yells, her quiet cries and then her dead silence…

She somberly gathered her blanket as she stood, bunching it up to toss on the unused bed. Contemplating quietly on all the secrets and mysterious surrounding their new recruit.

Something bad had happened in those caves, something other than Azula's victory.

"_I found out they set a trap out for my…friend."_

"_Please I love him!"_

Top scratched her head and her frown deepened when she realized something must have happened to Jin's lover. Something not so good. She opened the door, setting off towards breakfast with a wistful thought of speaking to the girl herself-- and finding the truth.

All these sounds and vibrations were driving her insane and she would not put up with it for long.

* * *

Jin set the last plate down, eyeing the last dish of breakfast. Broiled saurvage, some riced jook-- a side of Fire Nation sweet bread and a full teapot of hot spice tea. She sighed, feeling the smallest bits of pride, yet no smile to accompany it.

'_Looks like he stole my ability to be happy as well as my heart.' _She mused gloomily as she turned away to search the cupboards for teacups. She pushed the emotions down as soon as they came, bottling the sadness to mix with the anger.

She had only gotten a few hours of sleep last night, much like all of the nights spent since their boarding of the stolen Fire Nation ship. The weeks were slowly dragging on her mind and as a last desperation, she had dazedly stumbled upon the kitchen this morning. Cooking had been a wonderful distraction and she felt slightly better for it, but it was also the least she could do for the Avatar's warm welcoming. Or, well… the Avatar's entourage.

She wondered if Katara was healing the boy right now. The Waterbender had been very kind to her, and she felt close to the girl through their shared misery and horror at the events in the cave. She could also empathize with losing someone dear to you…like her parents.

Or Zuko.

She stopped her thoughts from going any further and gave a forced smile when she found the cups.

"Oh, there they are--"

"YOU!"

She jumped, her head smacking into the metal cupboard. She gave a yelp, hands gripping the new bump as she turned, staring frightened at the accuser.

The young girl looked very small in the large entry to the kitchen, but her hand was intimidating in her point and her was face grim.

Even if she was looking in the wrong direction.

"M-me?"

"Yeah, you." The girl strode over, and while the eyes were unseeing, the stride was precise. "What's with all the racket?"

Jin frowned, rubbing her head. She contemplated her cooking this morning. "I-I'm sorry-- the pots can be so lou--"

"Not the stinkin' pots." Toph rejected, crossing her arms. She sighed and turned away, feeling the dull tones of the table and grabbing a chair. She slid it out and sat heavily, deciding that she would have to try a different direction. "What are you doing up so early anyway, Giggles?"

Jin blinked, but brushed off the nickname as she set out the teacups. "I…couldn't sleep."

Toph snatched the cup as soon as she heard it be set down and found the teapot from it's quiet steaming. Her toes clenched at the sad tones of the chef and she mentally shrugged. _'True enough.'_

"Bad dream?"

Jin turned back towards the cupboards, intending to grab some utensils when she paused. Everything rushed through her mind in a flash, that first date--so long ago. That tour, the dinner, the fight, the rain, his soft voice, his laughs, his yells, that kiss, that goodbye, the fever, his apologies, his smiles, his touches and then--

Cold yellow eyes of a stranger.

"Yeah…bad dream."

Toph's feet lifted off the floor as if they had been bitten. She clutched the teacup in her temporary blindness, waiting to hear Jin walk further away before cautiously setting her feet back on the floor.

'_Whoa… I haven't felt something like that since…well never.' _The Earthbender grimaced, eyes wet rimmed as she remembered the overwhelming happiness, rush of confusion, that painful angry and wash of sorrow only to end in such a stabbing anger…

The small bandit held the tea close to her as she listened to Ba Sing Se girl bustle about, "Do you…wanna talk about it?" She ventured awkwardly.

The floor moved, and Toph could feel the sullen vibrations as Jin sat quietly. "Not really…but thank you."

Toph cocked her head with a grin. "Whatever you need Giggles."

Jin gave the smallest of smiles and rewarded Toph with a delightful chiming sound of movements.

"Something smells delicious!" A small voice exclaimed and while Jin looked up surprised, Toph smiled knowingly. "Morning Duke."

"The Duke! The Duke!" The small boy protested as Pipsqueak set him down on the floor with a smile. The boy lifted his helmet from his head, stomping closer and glaring at Toph. "You need to learn or I'll--" The boy's eyes drifted in his threat, catching the gaze of quiet olive eyes and wispy brown hair.

He blushed hard. "Um-- g-good morning Jin."

"Morning The Duke." Jin nodded and the boy quickly shoved his helmet down and turned away to take the seat next to the wide grinning Earthbender and knowing Pipsqueak.

Ever since the boy had set eyes on the pretty Ba Sing Se girl a few days ago, he had been struck shy with stuttering blushes.

Toph grinned cheekily, turning towards the boy to set ablaze the teasing when suddenly quiet vibrations rang through her… light airy vibrations…

Her body went rigid, blind eyes widening as she dropped her teacup. "Twinkletoes!"

* * *

The moon was fading, blurring into the pale color of the sky as dawn began to break through the night. The waves raced along the ship and hummed through his mind along with sullen thoughts.

They would be home soon.

Home.

The word was so unfamiliar to him that it seemed unreal. It had once meant something, a sort of goal to achieve…he had spent more time at home in his life than out at sea, but the years away from his Nation were life changing--so impacting that there was no home anymore.

When he thought of it now, the most he could draw up was his Uncle brewing tea with a smile.

And that was not the destination of this ship.

"Aren't you cold?" A voice called with the faintest inklings of concern. He acknowledged Mai's presence with the slide of his amber gaze, taking in her curious gaze before looking back at the ocean.

"I've got a lot on my mind. It's been so long. Over three years since I was home. I wonder what's changed." He paused at that, remembering the mindset he had been in when he had left so long ago… "I wonder how I've changed."

Mai gave a sigh. "I just asked if you were cold. I didn't ask for your whole life story." She commented sourly, yet when he looked at her she gave a supportive smile.

She reached out to wrap an arm around the Prince, drawing a bit closer, thankful that this time he didn't pull away from her-- didn't avoid her like he had the past few weeks. "Stop worrying."

She raised a hand to cradle his good cheek and drew him in, ever so slowly putting her lips to his.

The first thing that she felt was thee amazing sensation of warmth. He was so very hot, and his lips were almost velvet in their softness. The kiss was soothing on her nerves, but she couldn't help but notice that while he kissed her… it was almost mechanical.

She pulled away at the disheartening thought, giving a smile at those liquid amber eyes.

They watched her quietly before turning once again to the ocean.

Mai inhaled silently, walking away to leave the Prince to his musings, holding her breath. Her heart clenched in pain at the silent rejection.

Her fists tightened and her lips were cold without his. _'Just give him time Mai--give him time.' _

Zuko's eyes were closed as he heard her walk away.

'_You have to know…' Green eyes glittered in the light of the hearth as she leaned close, his eyes widening in realization as she continued, her smile soft. '…how happy you make me.' _

His hand burned and he hardened it into a fist, ignoring the memories of angry cries and the feeling of his burning fire on her soft skin. He pushed it all away, shoved it back down his throat as he swallowed in pain.

But that smile flashed through his mind.

"_It's okay… I forgive you." She gave him that teasing grin, that one where she tilted her head to the side. _

"_Zuko…" Those cool touches and sweet icy kisses…_

He groaned, opening his eyes and focusing in the new rays of the sunrise as he tried desperately to remember Mai's warm touch.

* * *

"This-this is delicious!" Katara yelped behind a hand, covering her mouth as she chewed on the warm riced jook.

Her father swallowed a mouthful next to her and smiled. "I haven't eaten like this since the farewell feast back home."

Sokka sipped the warm spice cider tea and then pointed at Jin as she refilled Toph's plate. "I am deeming you the official chef."

The palest of blushes graced her face and she nodded kindly. "It's really the least I could do for all of you."

The revival of the nomad Airbender had been a happy one. Despite his beginning fainting, the gang was cheerful this morning when he awoke once more and they all headed into the boat's hall for lunch.

Aang had been excited if not completely informed, to see everyone together as they all sat with lively chatter around the table, recalling old days and things the Avatar had missed while recovering from the fateful force that was Azula.

"So how did you come by us anyway?" Aang asked, looking up from his special made vegetarian breakfast to look at the strange refugee refilling Toph's bowl.

She looked a bit uncomfortable when suddenly Toph spoke for her. "Sokka and I met her in prison at the Palace. We helped her escape to find her captured Loverboy."

Sokka looked at his rice distractedly as he tried to play aloof.

"L-loverboy?" The Duke asked from across the table, but was sadly ignored when Katara interrupted.

"Y-yeah, but then I ran in to her trying to escape and so--I helped her find her way out."

Toph's toes clenched and she suddenly glared at the Waterbender's direction. "What are you hiding--"

"Did you not get a chance to help your companion?" Hakoda asked as he set the teapot down from his refill and looked across the table to Jin.

Jin wanted to fold into herself. It was about time the other's begin to question her exact comings of their group--she just didn't expect it from so many at the same time. "I-I--"

"Wait-- you got pretty badly hurt--" Toph began.

Aang watched as the green-eyed girl trembled with confusion. He drew his brow together and looked at her curiously, "Who was your companion anyway?"

"Yeah--who's loverboy--" The Duke inquired and the table's set of eyes all stared her down in intensive curiosity.

She caught the gaze of Katara's desperate shrug, her hand stilling as she watched the silent curling steam from her teacup.

"His name was Li." Her voiced pierced the silence coldly, tensing the room with a monotone whisper.

"And the Fire Nation killed him."

* * *

He felt dead.

The crowds of people awaiting the return of their victorious Prince had been enormous and alive. The blazing colors of obsidian and blood was glided with golden flags, billowing with cheers as he and his sister addressed the nation.

He missed the soft sight of jade.

The advisors and generals were aligned as they were escorted through the Grand Hall of the Palace, each bowing low as he passed.

He missed the running children at play in the back alleys of the lower ring.

His father had praised him, accepted him by restoring his honor and giving him back his position at his side.

He felt hollow as he kneeled.

A hand gripped his face, clenching the bridge of his nose. He leaned heavily on the window sill of his bedroom, inhaling slowly as he looked up into the dieing sun of the Fire Nation, its ray's shimmering off the gilded rooftops and reflecting across the wide marble streets.

He blinked and suddenly he was gazing out the tiny wooden window in their shabby apartment, watching the dieing sun glow across the vast huddles of green houses and thatched roofs, billows of smoke rising from their hearths. He could smell apple-peaches in the crisp air and feel the warm hum of life…

A yell ripped from his throat-- he tore from the window to slam his fist into the wall next to him, knees giving away at the violent outburst as he sunk to the floor.

A strangled cry shook him and as his body trembled with sorrow his mind was ablaze in angry confusion.

'_I don't understand… I have everything I want…I have everything I have been fighting for--Why am I--' _His fingers clutched the plush carpet and his heart tightened in his chest_, 'Why am I so empty?'_

* * *

Awwwww poor, poor Zuko.

Jerk.

Anyway, little boring filler chapter for ya'll. But that's it for this episode-- no more for you. As you can tell, I'm assuming you'll all seen these episodes and I'm trying hard not to rewrite very single one of them -- just the important parts from the story.

Just a warning, things will be a little flashy (as in, the scenes will jump a lot as opposed to one whole chapter being one day) until the invasion. That when things start to get shaky! But yeah, still as canon as I can. I want to make it all seem possible.

Even though its like-- not. Lawlz.

See ya soon at the dance party!


	15. XV Changes

The view was utterly beautiful.

The sun was high this morning, shimmering gloriously along the surface of the ocean, it's rays dancing with the water and filling the sky with soft yellow. The air was crisp as she inhaled, the slight humidity tickling her hair as they raced through the bright golden gilded clouds.

Her fingers curled around the edge of the wooden saddle, and she leaned over the edge to watch the sky bison's fur dance in the wind.

"Don't fall off, Giggles." A voice called bluntly next to her.

She looked down at the blind companion who stared off into the sky as she clutched the saddle. She gave a tiny smile that the girl couldn't see. "Sorry, it's just amazing how beautiful the Fire Nation is at sunrise."

"The Fire Nation is anything but beautiful." Another voice spoke and she turned her attention to the Water Tribe leader, his gaze looking at the view with a grim face as the red cloak billowed about him.

"Don't be so prejudiced Sokka." Katara spoke from the front of the bison's saddle, near the figure of the Avatar. "Just because they started this war and their leader is less than friendly--doesn't mean their land isn't pretty."

Sokka gave a shrug and then turned his gaze towards his sister. "Pretty land or not--we still need to lay low. We should create some cover."

Katara raised a brow but stood slowly. "Aang, Sokka wants cover--can we get a bit lower to grab some water?"

The boy looked over his shoulder with a smile. "Sure thing-- yip yip!"

The reins moved at the call and suddenly they were veering downward. Toph gave a grunt of protest, tightening her hold on the saddle while Jin smiled a bit wider, watching the Waterbender in interest.

Katara dipped low on her knees, her hands curling into her wrists. The sound of rushing water got louder and soon the sky beside them was sparkling with the reflecting drops, shining in rays of the sun. They expanded apart, creating an almost still image of rain and suddenly Katara's arms swung quickly in a swooping motion above her head.

The water misted, moving with the currents of the wind and their gentle master, before expanding once more into nothing. A chill whipped through them and suddenly the rays of the sun were blocked by white smoke-- clouds.

Jin's green eyes traced the swirling motions as the cloud formed, its edges silver and glowing in the daylight, even as they were shrouded in the cold shade.

They simultaneously pulled their Fire nation cloaks closer at the drop of temperature.

Katara maintained her slow movement as Sokka inspected the cloud with an approving nod. The boy proceeded to pull out a map, tracking their location. "Should be land coming up soon Aang."

"I hear ya!"

Toph moaned. "Ugh, land! Finally."

Jin laughed and looked at the poor girl. "We've only been flying for a couple of hours."

Toph shifted irritably. "Try sitting on a wild rhino with no reins-- blindfolded."

Jin nodded with a pitiful smile, "I see your point."

"I don't." Toph commented in a low whisper, voice full of amusement at her pun.

Jin giggled lightly.

* * *

The Fire Nation sun didn't leave a speck of the Imperial Palace untouched in it's bright rays. The large marble steps were glimmering under it's light and the rooftops shone with it. The vast inner courtyard was bright, the green garden's vivid against the clear sky and a gentle touch to the tall walls of the palace.

He sighed heavily, bending his head and exposing his neck to the hot rays.

Zuko could feel the heavy weight of the shoulder pads on his back and the tight pull of his hair in it's traditional topknot.

He could feel the sun's wicked heat and the stillness in the dragging summer.

He could feel his heart's empty echo and the painful crease in his brows.

The few days he had been back 'home' had felt nothing liked he had imagined it was.

Oh it was exactly like he always dreamed it would be; accepted by his father, welcomed by his nation and respected by all the palace. He was revered in each of the high nobles and adored by each servant.

Tilting his head up towards the sky he took in the clear blue color, the summer bearing through any cloud daring to obscure the powerful sun.

He had the luxury of a Prince, just as he should.

But it was driving him insane.

After everything he had done to this point, all the traveling, endless searching and battles. The struggle and the desperation-- the long days in Ba Sing Se and all the self sacrifice to earn this peace. All of it had been to achieve this place in his home, where he didn't have to fight, where he could simply live.

And he was growing angry.

Every day was dragging slowly. There was simply nothing he could do, nothing to do but pace the palace and be served to. The slow and dreadful days were mocking him, laughing at his face that this is what he wanted.

And shoving him into a silence where he could do nothing but remember all he had done to get here.

His hands clenched.

Zuko wanted nothing more than to forget-- he had everything he wanted, there was no reason to look back on things before this. But his mind shook, and he grew furious. Furious with himself for being weak.

Furious for letting it get to him.

The Prince let out an exasperated groan, letting body fall to the ground that he had been sitting on.

Laying still he breathed slowly, focusing on each exhale as if practicing a Firebending demonstration.

Each breath was slow and deliberate, clearing away each thought, each worry, each piece of doubt….

Yellow eyes closed slowly, the bright blue sky fading away to blackness. He focused on the soft familiar sound of each exhale…

The sounds stilled around him, he quieted and felt relief take him as he let go of it all.

A soft breeze like sound floated in his subconscious. Tiny whispers like distant echoes ringing in his mind. His brow creased and dug deeper inside himself, focused on the gentle sound.

'_You…'_

He paused his breathing.

_'You don't have to do this!' She screamed, emerald eyes pouring tears as she pleaded. Her hands clutched his collar and she sobbed. Bright fire enveloped her face, he could feel the heat running through his body and she screamed in the midst of Azula's cackling laughter._

Zuko shot up with a silent gasp, his hands clutched the warm dirt where his hands had burned away the grass. His heart banged in synch with his head and his amber eyes dilated.

He heaved a breath, pushing it all down again as his weary figure began to stand.

He had to get out of here--he had to distract himself.

He needed to speak to his Uncle.

* * *

The scarlet fabric was thin and made to catch the rare winds of its home nation. It was silk soft and loose, warm… yet cooling and it clung to her body comfortably. The dress was a bit short though, and she imagined who might have owned it. Maybe a younger teenager, who used it for summer festivals or walks on the warm sands of the beach…

It tied behind her neck and waist, leaving her pale and bare back to the heated sun, promising darker skin the future. There were no sleeves, and it would have left her legs awkwardly bare from the slit sides if she did not snatch a pair of tight leggings. But the front and back panels of the dressed played against her shins, covered in thigh high boots that she could only guess about their real use.

Jin sighed, pulling her hair up high on her head minus her bangs and decided she didn't quite feel right.

While the attire was more than comfortable, she had grown so used to the heavier robes of Earth Kingdom fashion. Whereas Fire Nation clothing was quite light and exposing, leaving her with much free movement.

"It's not good or bad… it's just different." A light voice called behind her and she turned to see Katara walking up to her, hands behind her back in her own new clothing.

Jin nodded and they shared a smile of similar feelings. "Yeah… "

Katara fidgeted her arms awkwardly behind her, trying the fasted the top piece of her attire. "Hey, do you think you could--"

Jin nodded and walked behind her, Katara lifting her thick hair out of the way so she could fix it.

"This looks alright, right? I mean it looks normal?" The Waterbender asked hesitantly.

"Your guess is as good as mine." Jin replied, looping buttons on the material. "We didn't exactly study Fire Nation fashion in the University… not that we even studied the Fire Nation."

As Jin finished Katara turned, surprise on her face. "You went to the Earth Kingdom University?"

The girl shifted awkwardly. "Yeah… but only for a year…""That's amazing!" She smiled as Jin fiddled with her front panel. "But as a refugee…?"

Jin nodded. "I won a scholarship and was able to travel there from the lower rings." She looked away, remembering the days spent at the grand school with a somber expression. "It was a gift in some ways…"

"Some ways?"

She gave Katara a look. "Upper ring Ba Sing Se students aren't exactly--"

"Nice?" A voice called and the two turned to see Toph walking towards them and staring past them. She was shrugging on a vest, and Jin couldn't help but notice that it looked like it was made for a man, though Toph wore it well.

"Don't worry Giggles, no upper ring society is high and dandy."

Katara tapped her chin in thought. "I wonder how the Fire Nation nobles differ."

The blind bandit shook her head. "I'm sure we'll find out." They began walking back towards the initial cave to meet up with the boys from changing and as they did, Toph suddenly broke in a smile.

"Sweet boots, Giggles."

* * *

"Ugh-- why is everything scorching hot, burnt and extremely spicy!?"

Toph glared across the table at Sokka's outburst, dropping the steak to his plate with a clunk. "Um, look where you are thickhead."

"That may be true, but at least Earth Kingdom food didn't taste like dirt." He retorted.

Jin had to admit that he had a point. She set down her chopsticks, inspecting the bowl of rice containing bean peppers just as her blackened chicken had. She mildly wondered if there was a Firebending chef in the back.

"Excuse me!" Sokka called, waving over a young waiter before pointing down at his plate. "Can I get more meat and less molten coal."

Katara nudged her brother in the side roughly when she caught the waiter's offended expression. "Sokka, we're laying low remember?" She turned as the waiter crossed his arms. "Sorry, my brother's just used to colony cooking."

He was convinced enough to shrug resentfully and stormed off to attend more customers.

"Man-- I don't think I can survive on this kind of stuff until the invasion." Sokka commented sourly as Toph burped loudly.

"Whatever, this stuff is delicious. Spicy and tough." She commented, leaning forward to snatch the Water Tribe boy's plate.

"It's just their custom. We'll have to adapt." Katara decided assertively, even as Jin caught her soft panting and looking around for another cup of water after her bite into a piece of bread.

"If we can find a market, I'm pretty sure I can cook some of this out--"

Sokka stood abruptly, causing Jin to stop speaking with a surprised blink. "Well we've found today's mission, let's start."

Katara stood with him, not complaining even as Toph grabbed away her bread to shove in her mouth.

So after a short debate of '_Where did Aang go?_' They set off around town, taking in the view of wide clean marble streets and thick pillars, amazing temples and funny looking stands selling firecrackers and fire flakes.

The market was definitely a better choice than the restaurants. There were lines of tables, covered from the fierce sun rays to protect wide assortments of fruits, some recognizable and some odd enough to stun them all, except Toph.

"What do you suppose this is?" Katara whispered to Jin as they looked over some vegetables. Katara held up a crimson fruit, long and pointy, almost like a dagger in its shape.

Jin examined it closely, trying to see if it was indeed food. "I dunno--but it looks like it grew from a tree."

"Hey check this out!"

The girls turned, spotting a man behind them with a stern looking beard, wild and bushy as his brows furrowed on blue eyes.

"Sokka?" Katara asked incredulously as Jin slapped a hand to her mouth to stop herself from pealing with laughter.

"I always wanted a beard like this." He commented, stroking it."Please don't tell me you bought that."

"Hey--we said we needed disguises--"

"You did, didn't you?"

"Oh relax sugar queen." Toph spoke, striding up to Sokka's side, sporting a moustache.

"Toph!!" Katara shouted with an angry gesture even as Jin laughed hysterically, holding onto her knees and stomach.

They continued their grocery shopping, Katara leading and asking calm cut questions with Jin as she ignored Toph and Sokka's constant mockery of the Fire Nobles. ('And how are you today Mr. Fire?' 'Splendid! And you Sir Hotman?')

The sun began to set, the burning sun finally letting up on the heat as night drew near. They had not run into the Avatar yet and as Katara began to get worried, they decided to head back to their cave in case he had already returned.

As they began to leave the city, the Ba Sing Se girl fell back behind them, carrying a basket laden with food and supplies, staring at the sunset filled sky.

It was the first time she had seen one in the Fire Nation, and it was painfully beautiful.

The clouds were grey as they began to form high above the rays of the sun, their bottom wisps alight in a vivid orange and tinted with pinks. The bright crimson decorating the city seemed to spill onto the reflecting marble streets, shiny enough to mirror the blazing sky.

She sighed, closing her eyes momentarily as they passed yet another large temple and then--

She came face to face with a courtyard, wide and inviting with it's cobble stones shining under the sky. And there, in the middle, was a ornate fountain.

It stood with a white jade dragon carved in it's center. It's body twisting elegantly around it's raised pedestal. It's eyes amber rubies flickering from the still water around it. Similar jade pillars surrounded it, each holding up iron lanterns, alit in the setting sun and dancing light across the water's surface.

Jin's palm was warm with the memory of his hand.

_'__I want to show you something… there's a fountain in that's lanterns dance across the water jest so--'_

_His eyes were flickering with hers, confused and nervous as she pulled him along. His jaw set even as he stumbled._

And then she remembered his silent and indifferent face as he regarded her sad one, as if seeing the fountain lit or not didn't really bother him. It probably didn't…

But then she remembered those amber eyes telling her to close her eyes, serious and intense.

She had done as he had said. And only later had she realized that he had Firebended for little ol' her.

She remembered the sparkling fountain with it's newly warmed lanterns, seemingly more alive than she had ever seen it-- and now she knew why. His own alive fire…

And that smug grin, his own eyes alit with pride and amusement at her smile. His warmed eyes on the fountain as he took in its beauty--and she took his hand.

She remembered that kiss… that first kiss that she had forced herself on tiptoes to take because she need it more than anything.

As did he.

She remembered that kiss and the memory molded with the second one, his desperate groan and burning embrace.

The memory hazed and her throat hurt from her desperate cries, and then that burning kiss was a burning hand on her face…

She wasn't standing in front of the Firelight Fountain on a spring night, comfy in green robes and holding a heated hand of a silent Prince.

She was standing alone in front of a grand Fire Nation fountain on a summer evening, in breezy and scarlet clothes, with tears streaming down her face.

Katara stopped, turning to spot the halted girl some feet away. "Hey are you--" She paused, watched the girl gaze forward as water glistened on her cheek.

She frowned, blue eyes washing with sorrow and surprise. She sighed, shifting to look away ash her mind brought up the image of a tormented looking prince from the depths of the crystal caves.

The water in her moleskin froze as her eyes did, hate taking her face as she walked to catch up with the other, and leave Jin to weep alone.

* * *

Whew! So there ya go. So I mentioned the Dance party last chapter and didn't have it in this one. But I'll add some inklings about it next time, as well as some back thoughts to Zuko's visit with his uncle.

But then there--whats next? Oh yeah! The painted lady. Oooh that will be some good old Toph bonding. And a bit of Mae and Azula.

Really quickly, I want to thank everyone for all the review love, I'm surprised every time I get one and it really is the best thing to make my day. Really fuels these chapters! Love much!

See ya!


	16. XVI Adapting

It was all that old man's fault.

He ripped off the thick cloak, throwing it haphazardly across the room as he stormed in.

If it wasn't for his Uncle, he wouldn't be feeling this way. He wouldn't be full of self doubt and anger.

Full of guilt.

He gave a muffled shout, running a hand angrily through his messy dark hair before thumping onto his large four-poster bed. The wonderfully soft material gave beneath him, but despite it's inviting comfort he had no intention of falling asleep.

"I did what I had to." he spoke to the ceiling, his amber eyes focusing on the wooden beams intently. The words were spoken righteously and backed by confidence…but they echoed deftly in the night, hollow in his ears.

Groaning and turning over, he pushed everything down once more.

He had everything he wanted--there was no need to feel bad about what he did. His Uncle was just being stubborn and foolish, he could have been right there with him, could share this new joy with him…

He shut his eyes tightly_._

'_I did what I had too.'_

Green eyes glistened in the reflection of the crystal cave, eyes wide in fear. Those eyes which had smiled and laughed and loved --he's hands fisted-- loved him, were wide in horror and pain to match the gnarled spot on her cheek.

"I did…what…I…"

His voice trailed off in a whine and there was a muffled sound before the Fire Prince's room went silent.

* * *

"Man, another Dance party seriously sounds good right about now."

Jin's eyes slid from the boiling pot to the sullen figure of Toph, lying on the ground next to her, seemingly looking up at the stars. She gave a smile but continued stirring, her hands enjoying the comfortable warmth of the heated soup.

They had visited a small village in the middle of a grand river--or what might have been a grand river, if it wasn't slicked in oil and full of sludge. They had acquired what they could from it and Jin was given the task of making a decent meal.

Sokka gave a harrumph at Toph's comment from his position by the rocks, going over schedules and maps.

"Yeah, that was a lot of fun." Katara mentioned as she walked towards the girls, seating herself on the other side of Jin and drawing her knees up to rest her head. The two older girls had taken a fondness over each other since they met, what with a shared secret and similar feelings. It seemed as well that Katara had been quite deprived of feminine ways although Jin held nothing against Toph.

The blind girl was becoming a fast friend, an easy one to talk too and always making her laugh. The Earthbender sat up, looking over at Katara's direction with a grin. "I'd say so Sugar Queen. You were enjoying that dance with Twinkletoes, weren't you?"

The Waterbender's face went red and she gave a scoff at the mention of the Avatar, who was currently off looking for fruits with Momo in place of fish.

"I just enjoy dancing is all--"

"Oh please, I can hear your heartbea--"

"Do you like dancing, Jin?" Katara asked loudly, ignoring Toph's wicked smile. Jin held back a laugh and then tasted a bit of soup before eyeing Katara.

"Well… I didn't really have the opportunity in Ba Sing Se… at least not in the Upper Ring." She lamented, thinking back on the stiff formal balls of the high and mighty. "Although the Lower Ring did have it's fair shares of parties, still… it takes two to really dance, doesn't it?"

Toph shifted, only skirting across the idea of staying silent before persisting with her next question. "What, was Lover boy not much of a dancer?"

Sokka coughed loudly, his hands accidentally tearing the end of his time schedule while Katara slapped a hand to her mouth, eyes going wide in mirth from the mere thought of Zuko the Fire Prince--dancing.

Jin's hand stopped and she went quiet, interrupting Katara's and Sokka's laughter when the thick tension set in as they realized this was the first time he had been mentioned since she had declared 'Li' dead.

Toph could almost taste the anticipation in the air, and she could only imagine that it came from Katara's secret--or maybe she shouldn't have asked Giggles about Loverboy, maybe it had been too soon. He was recently dead after all, and while she had suspected this was not true--Jin's vibration were oddly strong and even when she had said so.

Either way, it meant that she for sure believed him gone from the living.

The pregnant pause finally ended when Jin sighed, the smallest of smiles tugging her lips. "You wouldn't exactly call him the dancing type."

And just like that, the subject was broken of its boundaries.

Katara smiled, leaning forward with a knowing smile. "Did you ever ask him to dance?"

"I think I'd get a better response if I'd asked him to juggle."

Toph snorted, "How'd you meet this kid anyway?"

There was another pause as the girl began to fill soup bowls. Katara took hers with a deeply curious look just as Sokka came to take his, folding his schedule away as he watched Jin.

Toph snatched hers, eager for an explanation when suddenly she snapped her head to the side, sensing Aang's approach.

The Avatar stumbled forward, Momo leaping excitedly from his shoulder and into the air as he smiled, waving with one hand and the other full of fruit. "Hey guy--

"Shhh!" Sokka called and Aang's confusion followed the other boy's gaze as Jin began to speak.

"He served me tea." She said slowly and Toph laughed before she could continue.

"Tea? Seriously?"

Jin gave an offended look the girl couldn't see. "Hey! It was really romantic--" She paused and shifted her bowl awkwardly. "Well, no… maybe it wasn't. He kind of just came up to my table, slammed my tea down and glared at me."

_It was the anniversary of her parents death. _

_Or at least, it was around the time when she had found out of her parents death. _

_Her finger's traced the dark swirls of the wooden table, old and spotted in the quiet corner of the teashop. She could feel a tightness in her throat as she focused on the grain, looking past the simple etching to see the blurry face of a man with green eyes and ruffled hair, clutching her tiny shoulders with a sad smile. "Your going to be just fine darling." _

_The words rang in her head. "Your going to be just fine…"_

_She thought of the first time she arrived in the city, the cold nights in the back alleys, shivering with fright and crying loudly with no one to care. Or the hot burning water of the laundry buckets steaming as she cleaned the clothes for the factories-- or the way she could see the white bone of her legs through her skin at malnutrition. _

_She then thought of that old letter-- and then running through the rain with a bag full of sneaked gold, the utter joy of buying her house, the hard work learning from thrown away books and hand me down tomes. And finally the clean streets of the Upper Ring, contrasting with her too small robes in dingy grey patches. _

_And then that glorious day three months ago, receiving her graduation from the University._

"_Your going to be just fine darling."_

_She didn't feel just fine though. She felt like despite everything that she had accomplished and all that strife-- didn't really mean anything if her parents weren't there to see it. She sighed, but jumped nearly off her seat when a sudden clatter banged loudly on the table. _

_Startled, she registered the tea tray being set down by a sturdy hand with long pale fingers and small calluses decorating each finger. The hand was bare to the wrist, where it was covered by a forest green robe, trailing up a lean arm to set shoulders, thick neck and then a chiseled jaw that was taught against the flawless cheek and handsome brow that was only barely dusted with messy black hair. _

_She blinked, still surprised at the sudden service when he turned and she gazed right into those steely amber eyes, swirling and moving like a melting fire. _

"_Your tea." He said simply, voice low and whisper like, full of anger. She couldn't take her eyes off his, staring unabashedly at those moving irises. _

_He gazed away from her, dipping his head as he began to pour the pot into her small ceramic cup. He did it with pale knuckles and a clenched jaw, frustrated. Only later would she realize that he was angry with how he was living and even more so, that she was staring, at what he thought, was probably his scar._

_He stood rigidly and then let his eyes slide once more to hers before walking away. _

_She continued to follow him with her gaze as he poured tea for another customer. She traced the outline of his strong stance and the glow of his eyes that even from this far-- looked alive._

_There was something in that proud stance that shivered. There was some doubt in his gait, some pain that shadowed his movements. Her heart clenched painfully and she knew then, that she had to here that voice again, that she wanted to gaze at that dignified jaw more closely. That she wanted to see if that sorrowful anger could laugh._

_Because if he could, maybe she could as well._

'_Your going to be just fine…' The last memory of her father whispered._

"_Yeah….I think I am." She whispered quietly, smiling serenely as she eyed the teashop boy, taking a small sip of her jasmine drink._

"Yeah, that's not romantic." Toph commented, shaking her head and flexing her toes.

Jin frowned, "Well maybe not, but he could be romantic when he wanted to."

Sokka scoffed into his bowl, but said nothing. Katara's eyebrow was raised and she pushed aside her contempt for the Prince in earnest and girlish curiosity. "How so?"

Jin looked at her before looking into her bowl, staring past the swirling soup. She didn't really want to revisit all these memories, but maybe if she did she would learn to become detached from them. Maybe this distant talking as if he had really died was better than keeping silent and knowing he was alive.

She sighed and let herself show a small smile. "Well, we went to dinner in a fancy restaurant in the Upper Ring once." she said and gave a small chuckle. "He got all dressed up too and even escorted me by arm there."

Sokka nearly dropped his bowl, his face contorted, "There's no way--"

"If you ask me, eating a fancy dinner isn't as romantic as a good punch to the gut." Toph interrupted, unintentionally saving Sokka from his blunder.

Aang watched Jin and lamented, beginning to speak with a slight blush on his cheeks, "What about him did you like? I mean…" Her trailed off, voice fading with something that sounded like, 'pointers' and 'advice.'

Jin blinked and pushed a lock of hair behind her ear, seeing that they were all looking at her curiously, Katara and Sokka more so.

"Well… " She began, but paused. What had she loved about the Fire Prince so much? Perhaps the strong stance despite his furious stuttering. Or maybe it had been those blazing eyes and warm fingers, taking her hand in a quiet acceptance that he wanted her by his side.

And it hit her with a force that made her vision blur.

It had been all those things. It had been the fact that despite all his anger, and later his title, he had unintentionally shone her how genuine he was. How lost he was, how needing and painful. And every little gesture of his kindness showed how humble his soul was, in spite of everything he had been through.

And that-- had been a lie.

'_The whole reason I love him is a lie.' _Her mind whispered and the small view of the campfire dissolved in liquid. It was real now-- his betrayal. And the memories of him swirled once more, but now they came with the knowledge that he had played her with each touch.

The anger was coming.

"Jin-- are you--" Toph began, her head pricking at a change in the silence, but Katara caught on and cut her off as she stood up.

"Sokka, let me see that schedule of yours."

"What, why?" He asked, looking away from Jin to his sister and the subject was effectively changed.

Aang looked curiously up at Katara and failed to notice the Ba Sing Se girl's freshly flushed cheeks.

As the Waterbender began to plea a case about the people of the town, Toph shifted in her spot, setting down her bowl of soup to look (or at least look near) Jin's form. "You alright Giggles?"

Jin heaved a shaky breath, trying to push out the new epiphany until later, begging her mind to leave it alone until they fell asleep, and she could mourn in silence. So she could scream and rage to the sky. "Y-yeah."

"Punch me."

Jin push her palm against her cheek to rid it of tears, slowly registering Toph's voice. "W-what?"

"Punch me." The Earthbender repeated and clapped a hand to her chest, as if indicating Jin where to aim.

Green eyes bleared, but looked distracted and confused. "Er--why?"

Toph glared at Jin's shoulder. "Just do it."

Jin frowned, but the voice was determined, set, and not to be defied. So, feeling quite out of her own body and very much broken, Jin raised a limp fist and let her arm shoot limply towards Toph's shoulder. Her knuckles grazed the small girl's vest and stopped.

Toph blinked. "If I couldn't feel that, I'd think you didn't even punch me." She sneered. "That was pathetic, Giggles."

Jin laughed, because it was all she could do to keep from crying and screaming. She had no idea what Toph was accomplishing, but she had half a mind to excuse herself and walk off alone under the fading day and acknowledge the fact that she may no longer love Prince Zuko of the Fire Nation. That instead, she wanted to hurt him. "I don't really know how to punch." She gave, voice quaking.

Toph smirked. "Obviously." Her hand rose and, grasping Jin's fist with a hand and her elbow with the other, she straightened the arm. "When You throw it with your right hand, you aim for the left shoulder."

Toph put both hands on Jin's and began to rearrange her fingers. "Don't tuck your thumb under your fingers, or you'll squash it."

The small blind girl now gazed up somewhere around her companion's forehead. "Now, hit me again."

"But--"

"Just hit me, Giggles." Toph urged, her voice almost angry. Jin's green eyes gleamed, her mind fuzzy with pain and sorrow. But she focused on that rising fury, on that rising determination.

She breathed.

The fist hit contact with Toph's shoulder, and the small girl let out a, 'Ho!' She leaned back in her spot with the blow, before sitting up again with a bright smile. "Awesome! That actually hurt!" Her hand distractedly rubbing the shoulder. "Kinda burned too.""Oh jeez! I'm so sorry--" Jin yelped, wringing her right hand like it had misbehaved. Toph laughed loudly.

"I asked you to punch me, didn't I?"

"Yeah, but-- why?" The girl asked, not refusing the light smile from her face. Toph shrugged, directing her gaze towards still the bickering water tribe siblings, being calmed by Aang's negotiations.

"Whenever I get sad, learning a new Earthbending move calms me down." Toph smiled and reached out to punch Jin lightly on the shoulder. "Plus, hitting stuff just makes you feel better."

Jin regarded the small girl in a new light, her mind relaxingly distracted. It was almost like burying herself in books at the University, desperately learning to distract herself from the grief of her parents. Except now it was exerting a release of pain and sorrow, for rebirth. For hatred.

She smiled and felt her fondness for the small bandit grow. She raised a hand and hit the girl once more on the shoulder and they chuckled lightly together.

"No Katara!" Sokka demanded, his hand cutting the air. "We're not spending anymore time here and that's final!" He ended, turning from the angry form of his sister and Aang's sheepish look. He started his way toward the sleeping bags and caught the sight of the two girls by the campfire.

"Jin, why are you hitting Toph?"

* * *

"So, what are we doing today?" The monotone voice inquired, only hints of curiosity in its tones. "Going back to the cliffs? Or maybe make target practice with the servants?"

Zuko chuckled at the dry humor. His hand clenched the fingers between his, concentrating on their warmth and the way they entwined his own. His brow furrowed only momentarily. "That actually sounds entertaining."

Mae's eyes hardened as she traced the profile of the Fire Prince, his cheeks crinkled with his light smile and his tone was lifting. The squeeze of his hand reassured her.

But he didn't look at her.

She could almost feel the wall between them. The past few weeks had shown her two different sides of him. There was everyday, when he enjoyed the luxuries of his status, when he readily mocked the palace with her, when he kissed her… and there were the small moments between each movement, each sentence. It was at those times that he would falter and expose the quiet sorrow, the unspeaking doubt.

"Something wrong?" She asked quietly, blinking slowly and watching his amber eyes swirl, looking at her, and she knew the answer when she realized they weren't really seeing her.

"I'm fine--let's just head down to the garden to--"

His voice cracked and eyes narrowed over her shoulder. She rose a brow, turning to see the powerful stride Azula with a sinking feeling in her stomach.

The princess was dressed in her war apparel. Her jet black hair nearly merging with the dark onyx of the shoulder pads, gilded in gold and draped in crimson. Her walk was pronounced and her face stern, eyes gleaming with unknown promises and smile to accompany it.

Mae knew that look and turning to see Zuko's angry frown, amber eyes clashing with his sister's from across the hall, he did too.

"Come on, let's go." He gave and started pulling her in the other direction without looking at her.

But it was too late.

"Oh Mae, good you're here." The cold voice whipped and they both stopped to look at the cruel smile. "I need you and Tai Lee at the front gates immediately."

Mae said nothing and her face gave nothing, but her hand clutched Zuko's.

He stepped forward to meet his sister, eyes cold and challenging. "Mae and I have plans." He stated. The air around them stilled cruelly and the simple confrontation was turned personal between the royal siblings. Mae looked at Zuko from the corner of her eyes, seeing the anger in his expression.

Zuko raised his chin, staring his sister dead on. He knew what she was doing-- knew what she was up too. And he would be damned if she won again.

He needed Mae… he needed something to keep him from confronting his own thoughts when he was alone.

Azula's eyebrow rose wickedly, her mouth quirking. Truly, she didn't need Mae at all. In fact, having the girl today would surely sour her mood. But Maw answered to her--not Zuko. And she was going to make sure those priorities were set straight.

"Oh." She said nonchalantly, looking at her fingernails, and giving the indifferent knife-thrower a dismissive expression. "Well, you two enjoy a lovely day then."

She started away, brushing past her brother with a gleam of triumph he did not miss.

Zuko barely took his eyes off her face when the hand loosened from his and casually brushed back her bangs.

"Mae--" He started.

"Looks like duty calls." She said quietly, ignoring his angry gaze as she followed Azula's form. She felt cold without him there, cold as she followed her friend, and she hated herself for her fear.

Zuko watched her go, the frustration prickling at his skin at the sight of them leaving. And now he was left alone with no distractions. His form trembled as he felt the itching begin to reach him.

Alone to stir in his doubt and remorse.

* * *

Well let me apologize for the long wait with a page longer of a chapter and a promise of earlier updates.

As well as, an update of (cough, cough) Happy Belated Birthday, for those who care. I've rewritten the ending three times before settling, and that's half the reason why Girl of Ba Sing Se was a bit late. Other reason is of course, my new home settlement.

Next up, Aang time in Sokka's master as well as a jump to The Beach, which will focus mainly on Jin, since we all heard Zuko's outburst and know the turmoil he's going through-- rather not write that angst again-- pshh.

Inspired by Coldplay's Lost!


	17. XVII Lines

She inhaled.

The motion came as natural as the air through her lungs, her feet darting forward and pressing against the ground without any hesitation. She could feel the wind in her hair, but it did not interfere with her focus. She could hear the gravel of dirt and smell the crisp dry heat of the air.

Her hand came out now, free of long garments and exposed to the sun in her Fire Nation clothes. Her wrist twisted and caught the punch that had made toward her face. She pulled forward, the attackers weight becoming their downfall as she sidestepped.

The elbow bent under her guidance and twisted almost grotesquely before she pushed forward. Her other hand swung forward to deliver the final blow, raising her fingers to the now defenseless attacker's ribs.

"Ow!!" The victim shouted, but the voice broke into gleeful laughter when they where suddenly barraged with tickles. "Ha ha-ha, ow, ha-ha!!"

Jin loosened her grip slightly with a sly smile. "See, you shouldn't have taught me this trick."

Toph stomped her feet lightly, her blind eyes shut closed with laughter. "Alright--ha-ha-ha!! Ow, ow! Okay, okay!!" She cried, torn between the unrelenting laughter from her ribs and the slight pain in her shoulder from Jin's hold. "I give, I give!! Uncle, mercy!"

But the finger's paid no heed and Toph finally slammed a foot down, the earth trembling.

The vibration shook under Jin's feet and the ground rose beneath her, knocking her to her rear.

Toph chuckled, rolling her shoulder and looking at the dirt near Jin's head. "Just because I'm teaching you some smooth moves doesn't mean attacking Benders is a good idea."

"Me!?" Jin asked, quite offended, though not refusing the hand Toph offered. "You just decided to come up and punch me!" She finished, dusting off her hems and boots.

"Well, one must always be on alert." Toph shrugged.

"Yeah, only when Toph's around." A brisk voice called out from a small area of rocks. They turned to see Katara's lazy form, her hand fanning herself under the intense heat of the Fire Nation. She had her hair up and her skin was considerably darker than the day Jin had first seen her.

"That's right Sugar Queen, so keep alert or one of these days--when there's no water…" Toph warned, a smirk on her face.

"Oh please." Katara retorted, not taking the bait this time, but smiled over at Jin. "Though I have to say, your learning really quickly."

Jin gave a gentle smile and nodded. Indeed she was. Toph had taken it upon herself to teach Jin lessons on small self defense ever since the first, 'how to punch correctly.' Unfortunately, in Toph's way of teaching, this meant constant random attacks at surprising times.

She already sported a pretty big bruise on her thigh when she had been cooking some nights ago and didn't expect the giant mound of dirt that slammed right into her side.

Katara had taken pity on her as well and began to show her some basic movements in water bending, that taught one how to anticipate an attacker's movements. Despite Jin's constant protests at not being able to bend, the two insisted on her knowing some kind of protection.

Sokka had even dabbled in teaching her some things, though the lesson in boomerang throwing came to a fierce halt in the form of her accidentally knocking the Water Tribe boy out for a grand total of 3 minutes.

"I'm afraid Toph's right though, no way that hold would do anything to a Fire Bender." She commented, coming to sit next to Katara.

"Well, lets just pray you don't meet any." Katara chuckled and sighed, wiping sweat from her brow. "Man, can it get any hotter?"

"So hot that Momo's shedding like Appa?" Toph drawled, sitting before them.

Jin began to giggle, but stifled it under Katara's angry glare.

They had been waiting for nearly three days now, the first two days out in the fields in sleeping bags, and now in the inner court yard of Master Pian Dao's massive residence. Sokka had nearly completed his training and they had barely seen him until yesterday, when he had come back for the giant meteor that had hit some days ago.

So they sat, lounging in the green courtyard and waiting for their companion to complete his sword.

"How foo you think it'll look?" Katara asked idly.

"Knowing bird brains, probably ridiculous." Toph answered, though her eyes looked on the sky with blind wonder and her words held no backing.

Katara leaned back and stared up the sky, before perking. "Where did Aang go off too?"

Toph gave a grunt, but Jin stood. "I'll go find him." She said, but caught Katara's downfallen expression. "Unless you want to…" She gave, with a knowing look.

Katara scoffed, looking away, though Jin saw the slight rouge of her darkened cheeks. "No its okay. Just bring back some cold tea."

"Alright." She smiled, turning on her heel and barely dodging Toph's push of earth racing past her. "I'll bring you some too." She commented, brushing past the girl who grumbled something about, 'giggles,' and 'getting too fast.'

* * *

The ink painting must have been more than 100 year old, if not older.

It was large in width, and stretched across the clean walls of the grand inner hallway. The crimson walls gilded in gold clashed with the humble beige of the tapestry and the whole thing seemed a bit out of place in the grandeur of the home.

It was stained in some places and the edges of it were worn and in some spots, burnt. It was terribly aged and the black ink was fading to a dullish brown.

But the picture was still there and it still held a power to capture a passerby's gaze.

Aang's form was stiff, his grey eyes following each line of the painting. He felt his thoughts stir with memories as he drank in the pictures.

A man was the center point of everything, or at least he assumed it was a man. The form was small in the whole of things and could have passed for a woman. The figures arms and legs were eagle spread, like caught in mid jumping jack. Their head looked raised to the sky.

They stood on a pillar of sorts, the ink detailing small crevices and alcoves that suggested it was more of a mountain. At the sides of the earth, high waves clashed upwards, the rolling water nearly touching the figures outstretched hands. Sharp lines extended from each arm, rolling dangerously outwards and expanding in wild flames.

Fainter lines swirled around the entire being, encircling the small figure as well as the elements, like a strong circle of air.

Aang frowned, taking in each element until he looked upon the figure's head, unexplainable lines shooting out towards the tops of the picture from their upturned face. He guessed they might be beams of light, or perhaps it was just to balance out the picture, make it seem more dramatic.

All together, despite the vague detailing, it looked powerful. Or it would have if the figure and the elements were not bordered by a repetition of lotus flowers. They entwined with each other, circling the small form until the picture almost looked harmonic. Humble.

It was a depiction of the Avatar, he knew it was. Aang sighed, feeling his mind twitch with millions of thoughts and feelings while looking at the small and tiny form.

It was a picture of him.

"Oh! There you are."

He nearly jumped, looking over to see Jin walking towards him, carrying a tray of cups and a small teapot. She stopped near him, green eyes sparkling in a friendly welcome.

"Hey Jin." He smiled. "How's Toph's lessons going?"

Jin chuckled. "Alright I guess, though I don't know how one is supposed to learn to fight when they're the one getting hit."

Aang laughed, shaking his head. "Yeah, she's a crazy teacher." He smiled, looking over at the rocky element beneath the figure in the painting. "She once rolled a huge boulder at me, blindfolded."

"Ouch."

"No kidding."

She chuckled lightly, when her eyes caught the painting and she turned to it, taking a soft step back to face the whole thing. It slowly came together and her eyes traced the painting with wonder. "Wow…"

Aang glanced at her and then at the painting. "It's me." He commented unnecessarily, and his voice was low.

Jin's olive eyes glanced over at the young boy, eyeing the headband that covered his arrow. She felt a wash of pity before it was overpowered by an intense feeling of gratitude. He stood there, younger than her, and accepting of this entire fate set before him.

She wondered lightly what it would be like, to grow up until around her age and then suddenly find out that it was your fate to take care of the world. Not even just your own nation, but all of them. That every single one of their actions was your responsibility.

The idea of taking the fault of the riff-raff in the lower Ba Sing Se city was enough to make her sick, let alone the Fire Lord.

And especially now… with the war…

She looked back at the painting and wondered why the artist had made the Avatar look so small in the scheme of things.

"Looks kinda scary, huh?" Aang said after a pause in their thoughts.

She considered it, tracing the lines once more. It was true-- the way all the elements were simply bursting from the figure with no control did look a bit unsettling. But the lotus flowers seemed to incase everything in it's circle and made it look controlled.

"A little… but the flowers make it almost peaceful."

Aang turned away from the wall. "Too bad there isn't some real lotus power to make everything peaceful."

"I don't think they're supposed to represent real flowers…" She commented lightly, eyeing the intricate lines and fingering the clinking tray in her hands.

Aang said nothing as he watched the ground.

Jin shifted the tray against her to lean out and trace a line of flames on the wall, the paper crinkling beneath her fingers. "Bending is supposed to be your emotions, right?"

Aang looked over at her, hazel eyes darting like the wind with curiosity. "Well… kind of. It's your life energy…" He recalled from the teachings of all of his Masters, as well as his past lives. "Its kind of like your soul, so yeah… your emotions are a big part of it."

Jin nodded, looking at the lines of fire. "So when a Firebender gets really angry…" she trailed off, a hazy memory of a yell and a blaze of fire coming to her mind.

'_I'm fire nation, Jin!'_

'_Don't touch me.'_

"They explode." Aang suggested and Jin giggled at his playful tone.

"Well yeah… but it's the same for all Bender's right?" She looked over at him. "And with all emotions? When Airbender's get happy…?"

Aang shrugged with a sheepish smile, "We jump really high?"

Jin openly laughed now, the young avatar joining with her. When they calmed, Aang looked at the portrait soberly. "I know what you mean though… I do feel a difference in my bending when I'm feeling strongly." His brow drew together, and he shifted his feet. "I did some pretty horrible things when I got really angry too…"

She followed his gaze. "So then, if you think of the elements as your own fears, happiness, anger… and maybe even your doubt…" She trailed off meaningfully.

But Aang only frowned. "Yeah, but it still looks bad. It's hard enough controlling your emotions." He shook his head. "It's worse controlling the elements your emotions control."

"But you see?" Jin urged, tracing her free hand in the circle of the flowers. "The lotus is there to help." Aang scratched his head and Jin continued. "Not even the Avatar is perfect."

He looked up at her, and his steely eyes held something deep in them. Something full of old wisdom, yet clouded in his innocence. "Aren't they supposed to be?"

Jin thought about that, blinking slowly. "If the Avatar was perfect… I don't think he would be good at his job… he's supposed to understand people and living things… how can he if he isn't one of them?"

Aang opened his mouth to protest, but no words came out. Instead a smile tugged lightly at his lips, his eyes creasing. But it was short lived and he looked at her, puzzled once more. "That still doesn't explain the lotus flower."

Jin blinked at him, surprised. "Haven't you ever played Pai Sho?"

He blushed at the expectation. "Well yeah…but…"

She chuckled. "The Lotus tablet represents allies." She gave one last glance at the painting before looking at the young boy. "I think that they're supposed to represent your friends."

Aang went silent, his gaze taking in the picture in a new light. The figure, small and ordinary amidst the overwhelming power of the elements and emotions, but surrounded by friends who controlled and supported him…

"And from what I've seen Aang, you've got a lot of friends." Jin gave finally and she was rewarded with a dazzling smile by the young Avatar, his hazel eyes alit with wonder and gratitude.

"Thanks Jin." He smiled and she couldn't help but feel a quiet confidence grow inside her for the Airbender.

She shook her head. "Don't worry about it."

They were silent for some time, taking in the picture one last time and enjoying the uplifting feeling of hope it emanated.

"But…what do you suppose this means?" Aang finally asked, as they began walking away. He indicated the sunlight like lines spurting from the figures head.

Jin scoffed loudly. "Psh! Agni if I know."

They laughed back down to the courtyard, more lighthearted in the oppressive heat.

* * *

Harrummph.

So that's Sokka's Master in a nutshell. Lol was gonna teach her sword stuff-- but thats Sokka's limelight and it didn't seem to fit her personality. Plus ive seen that done in another jinko fic... simple defence is fine, we dont need another amazing fighter.

I actually am quite satisfied with this bit and yeah I know, no Zuzu. Well, I'll throw a bit of him into the exciting chapter of THE BEACH! Yeah baby. Some actiony action in that one.

And I know your all like--- aww lets hurry up with the invasion! I wanna see Zujin! But you gotta wait cause all this boring bonding is making some concrete importante things. Mucho bieno?

Hold your breath--- it's gonna get heavy!

Story inspired by Habib Koite and Salif Keita's amazing African beats and drums that sound amazingly Avatar. You know like the ending theme of drums and clapping? Same shite.


	18. XVIII Bruises

The soft breeze flitted through his ruffled dark locks, shivered his loose clothing and caressed his skin. It brought a fresh inhale of crisp air and the somber scent of salt water.

The sand gave politely under his feet, the grain relaxing to his rigid posture. The warm night air would have been soothing…

He was panting hard again.

It seemed that ever since he had set foot in his home nation, he couldn't breathe correctly. It felt like he was drowning, like the air was thick and stifling. The long missed pains for the sight of crimson, white and gold had long turn into pains of suppression.

He missed the gentle rolls of green and amber.

_The olive eyes warmed, glinting in the sun from the tilt of her head._

Zuko shuddered, forcing his legs to keep on up the path towards the old and desolate building, looming from the top of the cliff. He wanted to be far away from everything else-- wanted to get off Ember Island. To get away from the Fire Nation…

But his old home would have to do…

"_Your temper's out of control. You blow up over every little thing. You're so impatient and hot-headed and angry."_

His jaw clenched at the memory of Mai's piercing words. It was the first time she had ever snapped at anything and the thought that the only time she expressed herself was when she was confused with him made him sick. He wanted to scream at her that she didn't even try to understand, that he at least tried to make her happy.

'_That's not true.' _His mind whispered menacingly.

His eyes dulled, the fury ebbing away at the silent shame. It wasn't true, he hadn't tried at all with Mai. He had done nothing less than pretend to hold her companionship and it had broken them. He had given her no chance to try to understand and his anger had slowly ripped from his inner hold to anything it could reach.

Zuko sighed loudly, the soft sand had long turned into a harder ground and now his bare feet felt the change to smooth marble stone.

He stopped at the entrance, gazing down the entry courtyard of the inner gate towards the large doors of the beach home.

The memories flashed in painful hazes. His father, his mother, his sister…

His family.

He closed his eyes, stepping forward and making his way slowly to the grand house.

His home.

He could remember his father's word of encouragement and the warm hand on his shoulder, his sister's small laughter as she patted her tiny hands on his own, and the gentle hums of his mother as she sang him to sleep.

The door creaked upon and golden eyes gazed calmly over the shadows of the house. The dust flitted in the moonlight and the stench of mold hit him strongly.

Walking inwards, he tried to catch the sweet scent of his mother's perfume, but the smell only came to him in his last memory's of her.

"_Zuko--my son, you must wake up!"_

He strained his ears to hear Azula's baby giggles, her tiny squeals of delight, but he could only recall her maniacal cackle.

"_Why would father let you return? You've failed, you're a traitor to our nation."_

He looked around and saw nothing of his father's presence. Nothing of the trailing smoke from his dragon pipe, or the dark form of his tall stance except for the horrifying loom in his mind's eye.

"_You will learn respect and suffering will be your teacher." _

The days that were once spent at Ember Island were now a lifetime ago. Everything in that world had changed and everyone in it. Including him.

His sister was no longer a child and had not been since she had first entered school, perhaps even before that. She had the soul of Azulon now, and the wickedness of Sozin. She would no longer let her honey eyes twinkle at the sight of him or giggle when he made faces. The only childish mirth on her face was now the sadistic smiles of cruelty.

His father was as present as his mother. When Ozai had first began to abandon his family for the madness of power-- Zuko couldn't tell. The man who was once his father, died somewhere in his childhood. The Fire Lord known as Ozai today was someone Zuko had never known the warmth of-- someone who he had tried to believe was his father.

Someone who he was beginning to despise.

It seemed like everyone had changed completely except for his mother. She had tried so hard to keep them together. She had tried to keep Azula happy, tried to comfort her husband, had smiled at him with support…

Then again, she disappeared with the dreams of Ember Island a long time ago.

He wondered what she would think of their happy little family now… if she would still try to nurture her daughter and love her husband. What she would say to him, her precious son, after he had changed so much?

Would she forgive him?

Would she be able to look at him lovingly if she knew all that he had done?

He strained to remember the dark blur of his last sight of her… those soft golden eyes and that pale face…

"_Remember this Zuko…No matter how things seem to change, never forget who you are."_

But too many things had changed… and he had forgotten.

The dust swirled as he picked up a small clay plate, engraved with the tiny imprint of his hands nearly a decade ago. He placed his fingers against it, wishing for the times when things had been so much easier.

Zuko's amber eyes scanned the shelf of all the lost memories, collecting spider-webs from years of neglect. He felt his breathing grow uneven once more. Nothing helped. Everything he had fought for, everything he had done, was slipping through his fingers and it was all his fault.

And he didn't know why.

His brow furrowed in frustration. This was it, he had won the chance to be normal again. He had achieved his goal, to be accepted back to his father, to his family. To his home.

Why wasn't he happy?

His throat constricted.

His hand shot out, the clay plate falling to shatter loudly on the marble floor, breaking in a cloud of dust and debris. The action was followed by the angry crashes of his hands, shoving everything on the shelf to the floor. The pictures snapping in their wooden tome tapestries, the clay pots breaking near his feet, the brass figurines thudding to the ground and rolling across the surface.

The yell turned into a scream, his knees giving beneath him, hands shooting out to grip the floor.

The pained shout died on his lips to a cracked moan, his body shaking with anger and pain as he kneeled over the destroyed pieces of his life.

'_Why..?' _he begged silently, _'Why am I so confused?'_

"…_.remember who you are…" _His mother whispered.

The fists clenched and hot flames erupted blissfully, eating away at the scattered tapestries beneath it.

He gave out a shaken breathe, "Who am I…?"

The fire licked hungrily across the floor, his eyes shining molten in their shadows. He watched the heat burn away at the ink faces of his family, his nation's symbol, and the royal crest.

The figurine of a dragon burned black under his gaze, an old wood carving smoldering to ash. The clay pots blazed, melting as he urged the fire on, to rid the sight of the sorrowful past away from his eyes.

The flames greedily ripped apart the mold and curled the tips of the dead flower's leaves.

He sighed as it began to burn everything away….

An angry spark shot from near his hand, his reflexes snapping to bend the fire into the snapping flames to protect himself as it hissed wildly, backfiring into its master.

His gaze widened and he pulled the fire back desperately and it smoked into air, dissolving in his command.

But the snapping flame near the shattered vase stayed, the orange fire heating to a burst of white. Zuko's mouth parted slightly in wonder, drawing a bit closer as the white flames slowly swirled and red erupted from it's center.

The blood color unfolded, branching out, and soon another followed, and then another.

And it was only when the red had stilled, embers still glowing around it, that Zuko realized it was one of the dead flowers.

"The Fire Blossom…" he whispered quietly.

"_You forget nephew that the red Fire Blossom lives only in extreme heat. Only from pure Firebending will it bloom amongst its green leaves."_

He shivered, the sound of his Uncle's lyrical voice bringing unwelcome shame. His hand reached out hesitantly, before scooping the brightly glowing rose into his palm.

It fit perfectly, cradled in his fingers, and almost floated in the remnants of his heat. He could see the licking flames emanate from it, but it was strangely cool on his skin.

Like her hand.

His eyes blinked hard, throat heavy, and he let the thoughts of her finally flood through him after the weeks of denial.

The beautiful olive smiling gently from beneath those wisps of hair, her hand in his and a smile urging him on. The green of her dress fluttering in the warm sun, and her laugh gracing his ears. The sweet sound of her voice…

"_Zuko…"_

"Oh Agni…" He whispered as he remembered those last moments. Her desperate screams and the tears streaking down her pale cheeks.

"_Please-- you don't have to do this--you were happy!"_

He had hit her, had burned her. She had begged him to listen and after all she had done, he had burned her.

She had told him she loved him.

He had accepted her, lied to her, used her…

…and burned her.

Zuko groaned, his eyes shutting tightly and fists clenching, fingers unintentionally crushing the blossom in his hold.

The Firebender hurriedly realized his mistake, shocked to find the flower had wilted once more in his palm, blackened and dead.

He shuddered and his fingers quickly curled, the flame spouting on his shaky breath to envelop the plant again.

The petals burst red from the white hot heat and when settled, cooled his senses.

"_It's okay… I forgive you." She whispered, taking his hand, that shy smile looking at him… really looking at him-- Zuko, the Prince of the Fire Nation, and loving him despite it._

His eyes warmed.

He sat there, extinguishing the flower and reviving it brilliantly once more, wishing everything could have been as easy as this was… and hoping that his burns had not killed her…

----

She wondered if the moon was always golden in the Fire Nation.

Jin's finger's were reached out in the night sky, tracing the lines of the glowing orb.

The day had gone by lazily and quite happily. They had all exhausted themselves into sweet oblivion, having found the crater of water a great spot to relax and for a glimpsing chance, be children once more in the times of war.

Aang and Sokka had spent most of the day trying to find crevices and cliffs to slide into the great spring, while the girls had treated themselves to relaxing in the sun, bathing and some light training.

They had laughed heartily at everyone's pranks and Sokka's poor jokes (much to Toph's teasing chagrin) and were burned out from a well spent day.

Honestly, it had been wonderful.

But sleep had not been as delightful.

She had dreamt the same repeat of scenes for days on end and tonight was no exception.

Jin sighed, turning from the moon to walk the high wall of the crater. She had made it up there on a whim. It had been hours since she had awoken in a start and, not feeling up to going back to those nightmares, she had decided to take a walk.

The high cliffs gave her a fantastic view of the far off rolling mountains of the Nation's tremulous terrain, and the vast starry sky of the night. The air was crisp and cool against her newly sun tanned skin and she smiled at the light feeling it gave as it flitted through her loose dress and hair.

Much more enjoyable than the bitter tears of her dreams, and the cold ice of those stranger's eyes.

Her heart stung dully at the memory, but it no longer wept. She was past that now…

Jin blinked, looking down at her feet as she walked, her body feeling hollow.

She was happy today-- happy with everyone…but it was at these times alone that she realized it did not matter.

He had burned everything away until the only thing left of her was detached and nearly lifeless.

She could still recall the heat of his hands, his eyes, his lips…

But it was heat from someone else, she knew. It was a lie, all of it. Even when her heart begged that it had been real.

_It had to have been._

The green eyes narrowed bitterly, but no angry words formed in her head, and she trudged on.

The wind was getting harder now and at this height she would be shivering soon. She started back the way she came, heading towards the dark shape of a boulder, near the crevice that would lead the way back down.

A flash of light caught her eye, glinting in the moonlight.

She titled her head, barely able to make out the shape of a figure when suddenly--

The explosion shook the rim and her legs gave, her body smacking to the ground as the rocks trembled. A blaze of heat streaked in front of her and illuminated the entire crater, hot flames exploding in the camp and carrying a thick cloud of black smoke and rubble into the air.

She gave out a yell, eyes wide and heart slamming in her chest.

Katara…Sokka… they had all been down there…

Just as her mind began to panic, a huge boulder shot from the far ground and she watched in awe as it slammed the rim, once more shaking the ground. Her hands gripped the earth, feet trying to gain stability as her mind heaved in relief.

That must have been Toph--

Another hot stream of light--- another bang of debris.

Jin could smell ash on the air, and while her mind whispered to get up-- to run-- to get down-- she heard yells from the ground, yells from the others.

Snapping her head up she looked around, spotting that flash of gleam and the illuminated figure of the intruder, large and opaque in the darkness.

She stood hurriedly and before registering exactly what she was doing, began to charge.

The attacker heaved a massive inhale before pushing out, the jet of light emblazoning the sky and shadowing his terrible face. The ground quivered from the explosion and she barely escaped a fatal trip.

Her heart hammering in her chest, she focused solely on the giant form, pumping her legs as fast as the would take her. Instincts drove her, thoughts scattered and a painful fear in her throat.

He inhaled-- and so did she.

Jin leapt, her knees bending as she threw her shoulder forward, arm extending and fist slamming agonizingly with the man's thick head. It went in slow motion before her eyes, but then the pain erupted in her fingers, the thick shoulder's of the attacker pressing on her knee, and everything sped up.

His inhale was choked from his breath, angry black eyes widening in the surprise attack of the unknown girl, his hand came up as she began to pass him in the air, metal fist grasping her wrist.

Her scream of pain was cut off as her body pulled backward, directed like a rag doll in his metal grip. She was released into the ground with a slam, dragging through the dirt as she rolled. Skidding to a halt with hot tears in her eyes, she gasped for air.

The nerves shot through her feet in seconds as she realized there was nothing there to hold her--

She began to fall.

She screamed, hands shooting out to scramble over the rocks and clutch desperately.

Jin caught and swung precariously, her legs kicking until they gained hold. She panted heavily, fear taking her as she felt the pain in her limbs and the sticky blood from her newly ripped hands.

Another explosion came from above, shaking the earth and blowing dust and rubble down the side. She gripped for dear life, shutting her eyes as the dirt came tumbling down.

She slid an inch.

She yelled again, but it was cut off by another explosion.

Her fingers slid, blood slipping through the grips. Her foot dug into the ground and her mind raced as her heart pumped.

Her eyes shut once more, before opening slowly. Her breath came out nothing more than the slightest whisper. "Zuko…"

The mountain shook, she lost the hold, and fell.

The whoosh of air was mind numbing, the whistle loud in her ears, the feeling in her body hollow and then suddenly, she slammed onto something, her body erupting in pain and a yell of protest in her throat.

"Giggles!" A voice called from somewhere near her.

"Katara, fly Appa up towards Aang, we got her!" Another voice called from above her.

"Appa, yip yip!"

The voices came loud and rushed, her eyes blinking dazedly in the night sky and all she saw was the gold of the moon, before the knocked wind from her body took her mind and she slipped into unconsciousness.

-----------

Oh no! I killed her!

Lolz.

Sorry for not completely rewriting Beach but uh-- we know what happens and yada yada yada. So next up is some good ol' Sokka time with Jin in The Firelord and the Avatar, and I'll be nice and throw some angry Zuzu in there.

And while I appreciate and am grateful for your reviews and encouragement (seriously, sometimes I feel my heart turn to warm fluff) You guys HAVE TO TRUST ME! I love you all, but the pms about it being a non-zukojin story gotta stop. I made this story--not to be a sappy piece of crap, but a good believable piece for all us zujin lovers. If I just throw in some lovey dovey goo, everyone will be happy for a good minute before you feel dissatisfied and anti-climatic. And then later you'll be all, "well that sucked." And it will get really boring.

So just trust me alright? I know what I'm doing, and you'll be thanking me later. Its just like the time in star wars where luke learns the force and your all, "Can we pleeasse just see some light saber fights?" Or in twilight when Edward disappears for months and we have a bunch of bella by herself and you skip ahead to see when he comes back. Or even in harry potter when theres all that lying around waiting for malfoy to get in gear in the sixth book and your all "wheres all the magic, dammit!?" Even Avatar had those times. (what was all that 'wheres Aang' and 'sealion' crap in the last and most important episodes?)

It sucks (I know, I mean I have to write the boring stuff, how do ya think I feel?) but its oh so very important for the biiiig moments later on. And if you want to see those big moments, you'll read quietly like good little reviewers (pats your head) heheh.

But if I satisfy you know, we'll both regret it. So just sit tight, and I'll treat you to some amazing fights to keep you distracted. If you want, I'll even skip the puppet master all together.

Here's a hint; I LOVE Combustion man and its about time we made him personal.

See ya then! Loves ya all!

Inspired by Darren Hayes for Zuko and Pendulum's Propane Nightmares for Jin's fight.


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